Knowing the Real Truth about the "truth" when you're stuck inside... (page 2)

DATA-DOG

I know how you feel. It is a strange place to be. Have you ever visited Jwstruggle.com? You can visit and see what you think. You can vent and talk about whatever you want without being judged. It really helped me. There are a lot of other people in your situation. You are not alone. Remember it is not you, there are huge problems within the WTBTS. There are many kind people in the organization, but they just don't know TTATT. What you do is totally up to you. I know it is scary, it doesn't matter if you are 15, 18 or 40, it is still scary. Talking to others who are in the same situation will really help you.

Hang in there, it will get better.

DATA-DOG

clarity

Oneday .... oh I feel your pain that's for sure!

On my own very young so can tell you it can be very harsh & lonely.

Plse don't be in too much of a hurry here ... your life won't stop if you stay!

Try to get interested in other things ... make a plan.

I agree with OTWO please read his words again.

My heart goes out to you ...

clarity

breakfast of champions

I understand the feeling of being STUCK because that's where I am right now as well. I have the advantage of having a job and the ability to basically do whatever I want, but I don't want to lose my family. Basically, I've reduced my 'theocratic activity' to just short of inactivity and started school in the evenings. I am kind of creating a parallel framework for my future so that at some point when I'm ready to "jump", there'll be something there to jump to.

I would suggest for now imagining what you envision your life being and starting a parallel framework yourself while doing absolute minimum just to avoid having a target painted on your back. Use your situation to your advantage, and know that it wasn't you who put yourself into this situation where you feel like a phony - THEY LIED TO US ALL. We were just trying to do the right thing. Be glad you figured it out while young instead of wasting half your life.

Captain Obvious

I know how you feel about feeling like a hypocrite. If the two choices you present are the ONLY two choices (which they aren't), the option one would be best. You've already put in 2 years, what's a little more? Perhaps you should have been doing this all along. But there HAS to be more choices.

What about college? Could you go away to college and just fade? Would your folks help you out with that or at least help you get a student loan? Then you're not homeless and are pointing your life in the right direction.

Have you ever considered at least showing SOME of the things you have learned? Your dad is an elder and he has his mind made up for him, but what about your mum? Is she a little more reasonable? Having one sympathetic parent is a lot better tha zero.

Just some thoughts.

Captain Obvious

I know how you feel about feeling like a hypocrite. If the two choices you present are the ONLY two choices (which they aren't), the option one would be best. You've already put in 2 years, what's a little more? Perhaps you should have been doing this all along. But there HAS to be more choices.

What about college? Could you go away to college and just fade? Would your folks help you out with that or at least help you get a student loan? Then you're not homeless and are pointing your life in the right direction.

Have you ever considered at least showing SOME of the things you have learned? Your dad is an elder and he has his mind made up for him, but what about your mum? Is she a little more reasonable? Having one sympathetic parent is a lot better tha zero.

Just some thoughts.

rip van winkle

Hi ODIBF

You really have alot to deal with and I am very sorry that you are in such pain.

Please don't hurt yourself.

You have been very strong for the 2 years that you found out TTATT and to be able to stay silent about it. I know it has to be difficult.

But at this point, while still living at home, you need to take your time and plan your exit strategy.

Many here have given you good advice to move forward planning while still appearing to stay under the radar.

You have friends that are here and willing to listen, who empathize with your situation and that are concerned for you.

And some of them can offer you the benefit of what they learned during their process.

Try to step back and take a breath and get started on making a plan.

It will help you to feel more in control of your situation and you will have a goal to work towards.

Stay strong!

tootired2care

Often animals that get their leg trapped will go so far as to chew off the limb for freedom.

Dude i've seen several of your posts, and it seems to me that it's time to man up. Stop worrying about what your parents are going to think or people in the congregation. At the end of the day, you want to leave and there is no going back, they are going to mad at you any way you look at it. Here is some ideas to get you free. There are many adventures that await you, please stop this talk of ending your life and take control!

Plan A
Cold turkey quit, apply for a job on an oil rig or international shipping corp or some other dangerous job that you can get some good pay and built in rooming quickly, and will get you out of the house. Millitary is a decent option as others have said too.

Plan BSlow fade. The first move you need to make is to get off the example train. This will give you some room to breath. Tell your parents you have decided not to pioneer anymore (in a nice but unyielding way). Just do the bare minimum as others have said so that you can continue to live there and have basic needs provided for. Become unreliable with your assignments at meetings.

Use this precious time to get a job or even two, don't worry about school yet. Get credit cards. Avoid spending your time watching t.v. just read and study about your career field of choice, this will pay off in the long run. When you have enough money, get a car. Once you have a car kick you're fade into high gear. If things get too tough at home with fade, just live in your car if you need to for a while. You can buy a tent and camp at parks if you need to, until you get on your feet (rent a P.O. box though).

yknot

Option One....

Hands down Option One....

Time to put your big boy pants on ....you know this religion has its own game rules, seen much of it in action too....so play it without remorse enabling you to exit smoothly.

They trust you so your ahead in this 'game' already....

Every young man has to strike out, your parents (esp your dad) know this .....so talk to them about this very natural transition. Figure out the cost of living in your area, talk to your dad about one day having a wife and the financial obligations a family brings......thus naturally the need for a vehicle of your own will become obvious, so will finding a sustaining job and whatnot

Perhaps also bring up technical school .... as that is an acceptable venue (from their you can pay your way through college of your choice).

As you start on the journey to independence your parents will discern your need to cut back some on FS; so the biggest thing is to maintain the appearance of zeal....

Until you leave....

Publications need to be highlighted/underlined/notated in the margins

Shoot for 2/3 comments per meeting

Highlight one article point per month to your parents as being significant

Do half real FS (ie been seen) and fudge the rest.

Make yourself available for assignments and appear the normal 'reaching-out' stuff.

Play the game, play it well.....the more cover you create the less suspect your actions are...

Grown men have to know how to set a course, execute that course and maintain it until it takes them where they want to be.

Be stable, predictable and reliable.

Grin and bear it...but take pride in watching your plans and goals take shape and become achieved!

Know that you 'taking the lead' in your own life is going to make some girl swoon (not sure if that Sister from a year ago is still a possibility)

daniel-p

My advice:

Be the good JW child until you get a job and strike out on your own. If you don't, if you let them know you don't believe it, you will be shooting yourself in the foot. They will hamstring you and cut off basic resources like transportation, as you've mentioned.

If you're going to play the game, play to win. Tow the line, lie through your teeth.

This is survival.

It's been done before.

tootired2care

The problem is, it doesn't sound like he can just be a good little JW in the background. It seems because of his father and family, he is on the example railroad and is having to give public testimonials on the conventions and and at meetings on how great and wonderful it all is. Having to lie in front of all those people with a straight face on the stage is probably too much to stomach; I sure as hell couldn't do it, could you?

Knowing the Real Truth about the "truth" when you're stuck inside...

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