Farkel is a liar and a cheat! (page 6)

plmkrzy

ROTFLMAO I'll wear socks!

plmkrzy

"The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you."
- Kin Hubbard

I can't believe you mentioned that stupid little bath toy sub! I saw it advertise it on TV when I was a kid and just had to have one. My dad bought one for me and one for my brother when we were about six and seven.

The baking soda worked pretty lame so my brother and I thought that tooth paste would be a much better fuel. Have you ever put tooth paste on a naked little six year old while he was in the tub? It's like battery acid and it burns like hell! You get it all over your hands trying to put it in the little hole in the sub and once it starts hitting the sensitive parts of a little six year olds body the fire begins. Then you start crying and you end up rubbing the burning tooth paste in your eyes and then you end up blind.

Your ass is burning your tiny little balls are burning your little dick feels like it's just been put through a pencil sharpener. I ended up blind and crying my eyes out while running down the hall naked screaming in pain thinking my whole body was on fire while my brother was chasing me with the damn submarine in his hands yelling "don't tell mom, don't tell mom"!!

I'm sure it looked weird as hell and we ended up getting our subs thrown in the garbage. To teach us a lesson for wasting a whole tube of tooth paste my mom made us brush our teeth with baking soda for a week.

I learned a lesson that day. Tooth paste makes terrible submarine fuel and baking soda tastes like shit.

I hated my childhood.

Dave

seven006

plmkrzy,

Ok, the sock thing might work, I'll bring my duck.

Dave

JAVA

larc whined:

but I asked about a 50 gallon drum of Jim Beam, and get no answer

Hey there larc, I see that you're cutting back.

think41self

Dave

Maybe you should get out of the computer biz and become a stand up comedian...or an author. I'd buy your book about your childhood if it contained more stories like the submarine one. Or maybe you could become a writer for sitcoms? God knows they need some fresh blood in there.

think41self

If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself!

larc

JAVA,

Cutting back? Your darn tooten. You won't see that tank truck of bourbon in my driveway any more.

As they say, "Everything in moderation, including moderation."

seven006

Think,

I have hundreds of stories about my childhood. You take one semi-normal kid and toss him in a mixed family of three ugly step sisters, two real sisters, one real brother, a half sister, a whinny ass little half brother, a step father from the farm country in Kansas and an incredibly religious fanatical mother all rolled up in a the cult from hell and you have my childhood.

Iv thought about putting it all down in a book but if I did and my mom ever read it, it would kill her. It's amazing how I haven't turned out to be one of those guys who sits on the top of a high building and shoots at people.

And people wonder why I don't want anything to do with a relationship. Being around people just drives me nuts.

Dave

Farkel

seven006,

: And people wonder why I don't want anything to do with a relationship. Being around people just drives me nuts.

Vice versa, numbnuts.

Farkel

Billygoat

(((Dave))) You totally crack me up! *psst* And you are pretty darn lovable!

Did you see my tattoo piccie I posted for you a few weeks ago???

Andi

seven006

Farkhole,

In the words of my good friend Alan "poodoopie doopie to youppie"!

Andi,

You posted a pic of the little tattoo on you lower back directly above and centered right above your cute little butt cheeks and I didn't see it? Post the link again! You need to e-mail me when important exJW stuff like that comes up.

Id post a pick of my tattoo but SImon would have to delete it and then nobody would think I was lovable anymore.

Big hug,

Dave

Farkel is a liar and a cheat!

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