Spare the Rod and spoil the child, How did that work for you (page 13)

cofty

I think that is the key Watersprout. You see a child in the supermarket randomly picking things off the shelf and the parent says "put that back" so the child drops it on the floor. In the short term the easiest thing for parent is to pick up the item and mutter. The parent who cares about discipline will insist the child puts it back, state a reasonable sanction if the child does not obey and carry it out.

Combine that with praise and rewards for good behaviour and the child learns eventually.

The lazy parent nags the child a dozen times in the store for misbehaving and then smacks them later at home because they think that is discipline. Its nothing more than "don't show me up in public or I will hurt you".

wasblind

Hello Josie,

I really don't set out to change the minds of those who spare the rod

I think it's good, especially if they themselves have been abused

it breaks the cycle that they may project on their own children

They have not been taught how to administer such and therefore should

indeed refrain , yet there are some who chose to spare the rod

simply by choice , nothin' else

I agee wit Watersprout, Parents have every right to disipline the way they see fit ( Within reason )

mrsjones5

Yep, Was I know.

When I would take all three of my young kids (ages 8,5, and 2, i was pregnant with the fouth) to the grocery store I always told them before hand what was to be expected of them. Whining and grabbing stuff off the shelve were no-noes and they might get a treat if I had the money for it. I made the mistake of saying I didn't have money for candy once too often and my 5 year old daughter said in the check out line "boy, I wish we could afford some candy." I was mortified. I didn't smack her either in the store or when I got her to the car or when we got home (yeah I know that some here think I such a liar and child abuser but no smacks were dealt out) but she did get an earful in the car going home. Secretly it funny as all get out. I tell the story to my kids sometimes and they think it's funny as hell.

wasblind

Cofty,

the scriptures talk about disipline , and tells of the reason for the disipline

No parent enjoy punishing their children no matter what method they use

Please tell us your fool proof method you used for your children, do tell

neverscreamagain

I have been watching this post for a while now and have went back and forth whether to post a comment.

One of the greatest regrets I have in raising my son was how I administered corporal punishment when he was young. Like many we were only doing as we were told, sparing the rod was the right and only way. I was way too young and blindly following what was told to do, without thinking. Like many here, I'm sure we would make a much better parent now that we have age and experience with us.

My son is in his mid twenties now, we are both out of the borg, and I have asked him about what he thought of my spanking him as he was growing up. I guess it really was hurting me more than it was hurting him, because even though we both have concluded that there are far better ways to discipline, it caused him no great and lasting trauma and he realized that I was only "following orders". It still shames me to think back about it.

I have always appreciated the power of music and song in helping us to think seriouly about what we are doing. These are the lyrics to a song by the Ten Thousand Maniacs, that always made me seriously question this issue. (Yeah, I know that they must be evil, or demonic, with a name like ten thousand maniacs, but I listened to them anyway Ha).

Whats the Matter Here

That young boy without a name. Anywhere I'd know his face.
In this city the kid's my favorite to see I've seen him, I see him every day.
Seen him run outside looking for a place to hide from his father, the kid half naked
And said to myself "O, what's the matter here?"

I'm tired of the excuses everybody uses,
He's their kid I stay out of it,
But who gave you the right to do this?

We live on Morgan Street; just ten feet between
And his mother, I never see her
But her screams and cussing, I hear them every day.
Threats like: "If you don't mind I will beat on your behind," "Slap you, slap you silly."
Made me say, "O, what's the matter here?"

I'm tired of the excuses everybody uses,
He's your kid, do as you see fit,
But get this through that I don't approve of what you did to your own flesh and blood.

I'm have heard the excuses everybody uses,
He's your kid, do as you see fit,
But get this through that I don't approve of what you did to your own flesh and blood.

"If you don't sit in your chair straight I'll take this belt from around my waist and don't think that I won't use it!"

Answer me and take your time, what could be the awful crime he could do at so young an age?

If I'm the only witness to your madness offer me some words to balance out what I see and what I hear.

All these cold and rude things that you do I suppose you do because he belongs to you

And instead of love and the feel of warmth you've given him these cuts and sores that don't heal with time or with age.

And I want to say, hey, want to say hey hey "What's the Matter here?"

But I don't dare say hey hey. "What's the Matter here?"

But I don't dare say hey hey.

when my daughter was around 4 or 5 we were in the check out line,

someone passed gas and my daughter blurted out loud " Ew somebody pooted !!! "

I told her to hush, and when she pointed to the woman in front

of us I gave my daughter that " look "

but wanted to laugh

Spare the Rod and spoil the child, How did that work for you

cofty

wasblind

mrsjones5

wasblind

neverscreamagain

mrsjones5

wasblind

mrsjones5

jam

wasblind

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