Yea NC, I think we are all a little [email protected]#$ed up from being J-dubs. I went to nearly every meeting an never missed service until I was 25. Pio-sneer, MS and Bethel Slave all included. My wake up moment was when they kicked me out of Bethel for stupid shit after all my years of service and wanted to encourage me to start "reaching out" again right away. I told them not to hold their breath, been there done that, and I didn't care if I ever got appointed again, that having a job in the congregation didn't make me feel magically closer to Jehovah. They realized that if I didn't care about privledges that they had no hold over me and quickly lost intrest in me and so my fade began.
When I was gone long enough, I discovered weed, sex and real friends and now when JW's ask me how I'm doing (with that pitiful look cause they are expecting me to say I'm sad, lonely and depressed) I tell them that I am doing better than ever and I am happier with my whole life then I have ever been before. The ones who were my real friends are happy for me, and even seem jealous, the others are mad and assume I am doing all sorts of "unchristian" things.