Hi there,
I am similarly concerned about my JW mother's contact with my 3 1/2 yo son. He told me one afternoon that Jehovah made the butterflies and the flowers . I had previously not worried when he mentioned "god" because I thought he was either getting it off something on TV or my Mum was being good enough not to mention the actual name "Jehovah" to him. When he is there and they pray they do not encourage him to participate in any way but I do try to make him be quiet out of respect for their beliefs in their own house. He often giggles at them . Sometimes he tries to hold hands but he has no real understanding of prayer, at least as far as I know... I have been paranoid enough to pull out an old copy of "my book of bible stories" and quiz my son about whether he has seen the adam and eve and paradise pictures... crazy me I know. But I was glad that he hadn't!
I actually wonder if the "Jehovah made the butterflies" came from my Sister-in-law or his cousins on a recent visit, they are more the type that talk about JW stuff incessantly, whereas it's kind of a white elephant with my parents and I. Recent events involving a nearly 2 hour, emotion charged phone call with my mother about an incident and then turned into how much I hate that my whole family are in a cult (which I will reserve for another thread), meant that I point blank asked my mother if I should be worried about her trying to indoctrinate my son. She told me that when he was old enough she would not hold back from telling him what she believed and that everyone can make their own decisions. I said that children are impressionable to illogical things and that it is my decision what he is exposed to. She agreed that we have to think for ourselves. I don't think she will try and "teach" him JW beliefs, at least not at this young age, but she will answer any questions he has according to her beliefs, which is only to be expected, after all she loves him very much and wants him to live forever I can't blame her for that. I am satisfied that he is intelligent enough and will not be influenced enough to lead to him being brainwashed into the cult. My child reminds me a lot of me and thinks for himself and is quite forthright in his opinion, which is good for not being brainwashed and bad for me trying to get him to do everday tasks that he doesn't want to do!
I like Billy's idea of encouraging children to ask their grandparents questions that we perhaps cannot get away with. I think it is the most effective way, help the child to see the lack of logical answers and reasoning for themself. You never know, the granchild may make the granparent think. I get to emotionally involved when I talk to my mother about doctrine, we go around in circles and she get upset and physically ill... But an innocent child asking the questions can't be avoided so easily!
I actually have more of a problem at the moment that his preschool educators have got him saying "bless you" when he or someody else sneezes! But it doesn't really matter so I just let it go...
By the way I simply explained that butterflies come from caterpillars (he has a story book about it so he understood) and then the butterflies lay eggs that become more caterpillars and more butterflies, nobody is making them. He was happy with that and we moved on. I think if I push the subject, it will only intrigue him more and he will come to understand the discord between Mum and his grandmother sooner than I would hope. His fourth Birthday will likely mean I have to explain why she can't come. Aargh!
I don't think we really have much to worry about. Children taught to ask questions and think logically will not become indoctrinated unless they are not exposed to anything else but the brainwashing. But you may want to say something to your mother on the principle of the matter, that she does not have the right to be teaching him her beliefs in your absence. I think the less said the better most of the time (wish I had taken this advice as of late) as they tend to dig their heels in more when you challenge them...
Good luck!
