My mother is trying to indoctrinate my 4 year old and I do not know what to do

by jwfacts 67 Replies latest jw experiences

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  jwfacts

  Thank you for all the great comments so far.

  Troubled mind - good point about comparing examples. I have been shocked a how much Zac loves Christmas and birthdays. He was so excited before, talks about it endlessly afterwards. Even now in May he is longing for when Christmas will come next. It makes me realise how much I missed out on. He also knows that the grandmothers do not like Christmas or Santa and not to talk to them about it. He realises their ways are not fun, so that is a good way of him understanding that they have different beliefs that he does not necessarily agree with.
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  Number 6

  This happened to me with my mother a number of years ago.

  She was showing my daughter without either my or my then wifes knowledge various WT publications etc. When I found out I hit the roof and basically said.

  "This is your one and only warning. If I ever find out that you have been speaking to any of my children about the Watchtower religion UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, I will press the nuclear button and you will lose any and all access to them. This is final and non negotiable. If they ask you about your religion you simply reply that mum and dad don't want me to talk to you about that"

  That sorted it out once and for all.

  YOU are the parents, YOU set the boundaries.

  Craig
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  blindnomore

  You said in your letter to your Mother that you want her to act like a normal grandmother with your son. In reality, JWs, including your mother are cult members before grandmother, grandfather, husband, wife, aunt, uncle, child, etc. That's rule #1 you shoul not forget.

  Your mother will seek every opportunity to 'teach Zac the truth'. She will do it behind your back no matter what. In her mind, Zac will die at Big 'A' and will do anything to save him. It is her a god given mission. I had a friend like your mother. My friend would go out of her way to baby sit her grand children and fly to her DF'ed daughter's home whenever she can. She has a mission. As much as she cherishes her time with her grandchildren but her first and foremost goal is to teach Jehovah to them.

  You would want to make very clear with your mother of your wishes. Of course that doesn't mean she will by any means stop from teaching Zac about Jehovah. You just have to accept the fact that Zac has grand parents who are highly controled cult members. It's sad but frightening reality. I say 'frightening'. I am still attending JW meetings and I see with my own eyes how rapidly they are turning into bad to worse. Their meetings have turned into from Sales Meeting to Nazi Propaganda Movement with full of hatred toward outsiders. You can only imagine what is in your mother's head after been fed by all those propaganda.

  I would definitely teach him what I believe if I were you, with age appropriate reasonings along with lots and lots of love . Make sure that 'You' are his hero not grandma or Jehovah. You will be the main influence to Zac.
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  not bitter

  I had similar concerns when my five year old went through a phase of praying before mealtimes and talking about God an awful lot. She never mentioned the name Jehovah though. But I have come to realise that a lot of this God talk comes from school assemblies and not just from my witness parents. My daughter talks about how God made everything and how he looks after us etc. but at this age, I'm not too worried. I talk to her about how we evolved and how animals came to be and she is obsessed with dinosaurs. So rather than trying to convince her that God is make believe, I will leave her to her own thoughts as she will hear about all these things in school and will soon be at an age where she will come to her own conclusion. So I think what I'm trying to say is that maybe its not a good idea to tell your boy that God kills children as this may give him nightmares for starters and when he gets taught stories about God in school which most schools tend to do at Christmas and Easter and morning assembly then you could be causing more problems. Beleive me, when he is old enough and you explain to him that he can follow the Jehovah religion or celebrate Christmas and birthdays and be like all his school friends, I think you know which one he will choose. Of course, every situation is different and my parents don't ram it down my childs throat. Your mother maybe the opposite.
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  wasblind

  MOSHE !!!!! whoopass on his mom ????
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  undercover

  My mother now wants to start Skyping Zac. Unfortunately, my wife does not really care about what Zac believes or if he wants to be a JW. So my mother rings her when I am not around and uses her to speak to Zac. No matter what I say to Mum, I know she will still go behind my back to try to indoctrinate Zac.

  Sounds like your wife doesn't have your back on this 100%. So if you can't supervise the Skype visits personally, then you have to tell Mum point blank, "religious discussions of any kind (not just JW) are not allowed when 'visiting' with Zac. If I find out that you have not respected my wishes, then the 'visits' will end and you will not be permitted to Skype Zac, except in my presence".

  Like others have said, you're the parent. You call the shots on what your child is taught or who they associate with.

  Just remember, no matter how accomodating you may think you're trying to be, any perceived interference in limiting your mom's influence will be seen as persecution in her eyes and she will become a drama queen over it. That's where you have to set the boundry, don't back down, and put it in her court. Respect my wishes, everything's cool. Push me and I'll pull the plug completely and you'll lose all privileges.
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  theBGB

  I dont have any kids but definitely plan on it some day, and when that day comes I will not leave them alone with any of my relatives unless in the most dire of emergencies and I'd make damn sure they already know (no second chances or warnings) that if they talk to them about ANYTHING having to do with their backwards-ass belief system, that will be that and theyll never see them again. Pretty much exactly what Number 6 said; kudos Craig!
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  okage
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  designs

  Get her a subscription to The Jewish Times or The Buddhist Door.
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  mouthy

  My Opinion???? Tell her point blank..." If you continue to teach the WT "truth" You will NOT see your grandchild again..."

  AND MEAN it..