My mother is trying to indoctrinate my 4 year old and I do not know what to do

by jwfacts 67 Replies latest jw experiences

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  00DAD

  You've got a lot of good advice and suggestions so far. I think I'd hold off on threatening the shunning aspect; that's what THEY do.

  Nevertheless, I believe you need to be firm, completely clear and unequivocal about it. Being a teacher she must know that she could not talk to her students about her religious beliefs (assuming she taught in a public school).

  You could also ask her if she wants you to respect HER religious beliefs even though you don't agree. Then tell her that she MUST likewise respect yours.

  00DAD
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  mrsjones5

  My parents tried with my kids, lambasting the holidays and birthdays. The kids listened for a hot second then went on their merry way. We've talked about this issue many a time. They understand that it's their grandparents religion and not some thing they need to worry about or really think about other than knowing that it's based on lies and it's a rather silly boring religion (my daughter has made the comment the my parents' religion doesn't make any sense, she isn't impressed by any of it). It kinda helps that my oldest son's friend (who goes to the hall ith his family) can't stand the religion and wants out.

  I guess my point is you're doing the right thing by talking to your boy about it. Have a little faith in your boy, kids tend to be quite clearheaded about this stuff as long as they have the right information. Yeah, some firm boundaries need to be set with Grandma, he is your child after all.
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  ABibleStudent

  jwfacts - My mother now wants to start Skyping Zac. Unfortunately, my wife does not really care about what Zac believes or if he wants to be a JW. So my mother rings her when I am not around and uses her to speak to Zac. No matter what I say to Mum, I know she will still go behind my back to try to indoctrinate Zac.

  Hi jwfacts, I agree with Lady Lee and undercover about your wife not supporting you. You and your wife are the parents of Zac not your mother. You and your wife need to decided on a unified position about what you both are willing to tolerate from your respective parents. Once the rules are set, do not change the rules, or allow your respective parents to break the rules, because JW relatives will try to push.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  Robert
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  mind blown

  Oh my not good...

  You're not only his father but the HEAD of the household (men rule in the wts). I would say I love you very much, but you have to RESPECT MY wishes and I have reasons for not wanting my child exposed to this. Tell her in a firm but loving way.

  If she continues, I'd invite her over, not telling her why and MAKE her watch these BBC reports on WTS and child sexual abuse. It's easy to deny, when it's not in your face.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzWupVczfCQ

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5tjuEVi23g

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebnBzVXDA9Q
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  hamsterbait

  You will see this admonition here over and over:

  NEVER NEVER EVER LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE WITH A JEHOVAHS WITNESS.

  They do not respect your beliefs, actually - despise them, and will always want to take the opportunity to witness. They see your little ones as under your death sentence, and want to save them.

  Read your child lots of the Anderson fairy tales, and those of the Grimm Brothers. He will easily make the connection that Granma is just telling fairy stories too. Read all the other creation myths and oriental stories in the Mahabaratha. Trying to reason with him at this stage will only get him thinking that maybe there is more to what she is saying than you want him to know.

  HB
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  zoiks

  Hi Paul,

  This is a tough situation and one that I am all too familiar with. I think that your note to your mom is good. I have just one comment about the following line:

  I do not feel it is appropriate that you force your opinions upon him at this stage, particularly as he is too young to be able to identify the rhetorical fallacies in your arguments.

  The second part of this comes off as a bit of a dig at your mom's beliefs, which she may take personally and use to play the victim and make you into the bad guy. Your mom knows exactly how you feel about her beliefs, but any percieved attack on them might trigger the persecution complex and encourage her to find ways to secretly preach to him.

  If it were me, I might instead turn it around and highlight that her attempts at forcing her opinions upon him speak of a lack of respect for your rights and duties as a father to raise your child.

  Just a suggestion. I hope that you're able to nip this before it becomes a real problem.
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  skeeter1

  I had to inoculate our children. I drilled them and even did role play. And, I repeat this before the relatives visit.

  Me, "When someone wants to talk with you about the Bible, God, Jesus, Jehovah, or anything religious, what do you tell them?"

  Kid, "I can't talk about the Bibie, God, Jesus, Jehovah or anything religious without my mommy or daddy with me."

  THen, I told my JW relatives the simple facts. "I think the Bible may hold some good prinicples, but I don't believe in it as you do. I decided to teach my child core principals about being good, honest and a citizen of the human race. I have decided not to teach him about a warring god of Abraham, the Bible, Armegheddon, Satan, or any other tom-foolery. He can take world religion in college. I respect your decision to believe in these things. Do not talk with my kids about these things. I have instructed hiim to come get "mommy or daddy" if ANYONE should try to talk religion with him."

  Skeeter
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Before I put my foot down for my mom to stop talking to my kid about JW stuff, I'd coach the kids on what questions to ask. Kids can be really good at tirelessly asking questions that I couldn't get away with asking.

  • Were kangaroos on the ark?
  • Were koalas on the ark?
  • How did they get to Australia?
  • Did Jehovah kill the dinosaurs?
  • Why?
  • ...
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  Snoozy

  Good idea Sketter..I like it. Brainwash can work both ways.. I would do anything to protect my kids..I would also correct the child when they say "Jehovah" and say "you mean God?" It will catch on..And is it possible to block Skype for now?..

  Just a reminder..my kids are in their 50's now. Been out for over 30 years..still occasionally have a bad dream about the "Paradise Book". I would in no way let her read that or any of their other so called "Children's" books to my child.

  Snoozy..
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  jookbeard