by Igot2bme 77 Replies latest jw friends
@ Palmtree67 basically that was the bottom line. I thought it a joke myself.
The hammer comes down just as I and MrMonroe explains. However, instead of three brothers little ol me had four, trying to muscle me into immediate repentence . Yes, they the noose ready and waiting for your appearence....
DON'T GO....RUN FOR THE HILLS.....hahah......or get an attorney. Question? If one gets an attorney can or will they DF?
As the above have stated, your basically already sentenced. The only difference you can make now is if you decide to go out with a bang and try to open their eyes, or quietly avoid them and end up DF in absentia.
I'm sorry to hear about this, I wonder how they brought up this charge? Maybe through friends/relatives? Someone must've outed you.
Very sorry. I know there is no way to leave JW's in a dignified way.
Just a couple of thoughts from a former elder here:
They don't need you there to DF you. That doesn't mean they will. Contrary to popular belief, there is no uniform handling of these situations. It all depends on the elder body, the CO, the "desk elder" in the Service Dept at Bethel and how this whole thing was framed. I have seen situations where the potential disfellowshipping was held in abeyance, and others where you could be DF'd while not participating in the hearing.
It all depends on how this whole thing was framed by the powers that be.
As a personal opinion, I have never been in favor of going out on their terms. If you are fairly certain that they are going to have it in for you, I don't think you should worry about what they want you to do. It is all legalese bullshit they invent anyway. The only thing that matters is how you would like to go out.
The sad fact is, sometimes faders get busted. If that is the case, I highly recommend putting yourself and your needs above anyone else, even friends and family still in. This isn't a battlefield you can win on. You have to take this battle to another place to win, and that is by reclaiming your life. (which I am obviously unfamiliar with...)
Thanks for reading!
Btw, unless it is your path and mission in life to bring this to court, a lawyer will have limited value here. JW's have the legal right to disfellowship as they see fit, regardless of how immoral or unethical it can be. The United States has given all religious organizations that right.
My opinion is to not invest emotional energy in that when you can use it in other healthier ways. :)
I was sad when I first got it then I was like WTF, what authority do these people think they have over me! Then I was pretty much pissed me off the rest of the day....
Is this a congregation you have actually attended or are in any way affliated with?
But how can they DF one without them being present to" admit" the crime, unless they have "absolute proof" or a witness of two or three??? Because if that was the case they would be sued a kazillion times over? They can't just DF because you're not going to the meetings?!
One can have a successful fade as long as they don't have people around them to run to the elders if.....let's say you have Christmas lights up.....or go around trying to enlighten other JW's
On the other hand. If one is constantly around them, I would say the best alternate route would be to DA oneself.
"But how can they DF one without them being present to" admit" the crime, unless they have "absolute proof" or a witness of two or three??? Because if that was the case they would be sued a kazillion times over? They can't just DF because you're not going to the meetings?! "
I hate to say this, but they can, they have, they will continue to do so.
And they have been sued a kazillion times over, and won every time.
It's their club, their rules. Starting a religious club is the only non regulated form of group in the United States. It isn't going to change unless through an act of Congress. And lets be frank, that isn't happening.
Truth_B_known: The elders will most likely not reveal who your accusers are and, even if they did, you will not be allowed to face your accusers and cross-examine them at your judicial committee.
Actually you can. I was accused of drinking and going out partying (read my bio for full story) and I hit the elders with a script in act and one from duet saying how we have a biblical right to face our accuser. They acknowledged that I was correct and than made me promise not to harm this person...for real they spent an hour stressing that they did not want me to hurt this person.
And they have been sued a kazillion times over, and won every time.
Well there have been a few legal setbacks for them with the Olin Moyle case being the most famous. They've also been known to back down when their legal position is tenuous or if the person is well heeled or famous and can cause them some bad publicity.
I'm not an attorney and don't pretend to be, but I think an underexploited vulnerabilty occurs when elders begin harassing someone who has never been formerly affliated with their congregation.
TD:
I think an underexploited vulnerabilty occurs when elders begin harassing someone who has never been formerly affliated with their congregation.
Well, that is EXACTLY what happened to me.
I moved to a city far away from the cong I was associated with. Many months later, my ex contacted the elders in my new city. They sat outside in cars, in the dark til they had proof of wrongdoing. Then knocked on the door and told me they were going to df me.
3 men whom I'd never met before, in a K-Hall I had never set foot in......I don't know who they thought they were protecting.
