by mankkeli 260 Replies latest jw experiences
LeavingWT - Of what value is sharing what is in your heart if it would strain the relationship between you and those arround you
When those around you aren't under the control of the bOrg it doesn't!!! At least, not for long. My atheist and agnostic friends and family can accept me for who I am, and I them. They have shown me more love than I ever found in the bOrg. We love eachother. We respect eachother! They are so valuable to me!
OUTLAW - How has leaving benefited you personally, what have you to show for it and does it benefit those whom you truly care about?
Soooooo....
Everyone should just suffer in silence, remaining trapped in a cult because they might not get to talk to Grandma anymore???
HELL no!!
Even though the price of leaving is SOMETIMES a steep one, freedom is ALWAYS preferable to being held against one's will - and better judgment...
People just need to USE THEIR BRAINS as to the method they use to leave - or better yet, "fade"...
Zid
shadesofGrey - What if they are still in?
You can live your life as a coward pining away for what could've been in a false religious organization or you can live, truly live in freedom as in freedom of speech and freedom of religion. Yes it has been a rough patch to get through at first but after that it's a lot better. Your family may see (if they open their eyes) that you're not that bad of a person. You will get to know a LOT more people. I always thought I was not attractive and nobody wanted to be my friend in the JW organization because a) the choices are severely limited (1000 to 1) and b) it's hard to find somebody among the JW you can both trust and that can understand you and accept you for who you are even if there is a difference in belief system.
I was raised in the 'truth' and married twice:
- I never before found women that really wanted to talk to me just as friends and that weren't afraid of getting in trouble for being with me (even in public settings) without anyone else
- I never had open discussions about religion, faith, science and politics. They were always severely curtailed on both ends between friends and family as saying the wrong things can get you in trouble. I've had some almost every day now.
- I feel free to express my opinion and if I don't like something, I say so or if I want to leave a party or not, I do so, I do so without anyone disapproving or feeling disrespected.
- I never had the opportunity to meet people to hang out with that show in bunches just to go get a drink and listen to a band and talk and meet new people
- I've never seen the raw beauty in the art form of some movies be it horror or suspense or comedy because they were "R-rated" or "unrated" and thus not "wholesome"
- I started an account on a dating website and within 2 weeks I had over 100 visitors, 20 conversations, 10 back and forth discussions and 5 dates. I was promoted to the "hot" section which was a huge boost for my self-esteem.
- My wife loosened up towards me being an atheist and ex-JW and we're now talking about getting back together. This was due to the discussions with one of her work mates.
- I've discovered things about myself that have long been locked up in suppressed memories and dark fantasies. I noticed certain things that felt natural to me but were taboo among JW's are perfectly acceptable in the 'world' out there.
- I feel happier alltogether as I no longer believe in the depressing shape of the world. Yeah, things are bad out there and cruel but they're not as bad as it seems, things have been getting better the past few centuries.
- I feel happier knowing that the end is not coming tomorrow and none of my family is going to be destroyed at the onset of a vague prophecy.
- I can choose my friends, have a lot more of them, have a lot more variety (bisexual, homosexual, polyamorists, transsexual, atheists, jews, catholics, agnostics, mock satanists, pastafarians) and they're in my own age group as well
- I don't feel looked down upon by a hierarchy of men or unworthily praised to high heavens by a group of women I'm supposed to dominate.
- I'm not discriminated against because I'm in the 'wrong' skin color congregation or because I have a mixed marriage and child.
Since leaving the J-Dubs, I have met the most wonderful woman and have been happily married since.
I've met family that have been far more loyal to her and me than my own flesh and blood. I've met people who are more my family than my so-called 'brothers and sisters.' I've realized I've been taught a lie about JWs being the happiest people on earth. Of course, the Mormons call themselves the same and no amount of squeezing your eyes shut and screaming to yourself that you are will make it true.
I will agree that someone planning to leave should give it serious thought. Not only should they give it serious thought, they should lay plans. Who will take you in? Who will be your friends? Can you trust them implicitly? Why are you leaving? Can you feel free to do what you feel you can't without leaving? Take your time, figure it out, get a solid exit strategy at the ready.
The LAST thing you want to do is be someone who leaves and crawls back like the pup to the vomit. The very last.
-XD MS
It's my family's CHOICE to not talk to me but mostly it's because they've been BRAINWASHED into thinking anyone who leaves is evil and an anti-christ.
It seems you think it's better to die slowly inside by being forced to hear all that propaganda and crap they feed us because, oh, well at least our families will still be whole. It's like telling a gay person not to come out and to marry the opposite sex because hey, at least it will make everyone else happy when they know they don't like the opposite sex that way so they'd be LIVNG A LIE.
So, it's better that while a JW I wanted to kill myself every damn day because I was so afraid of dying in Armageddon because I could never live up to JW standards and I had doubts eating away at me that I wanted to at least be able to die by my own hand instead because it was THE ONE THING IN MY LIFE I HAD CONTROL OVER?
F*cking retarded, man.
LeavingWT - Of what value is sharing what is in your heart if it would strain the relationship between you and those arround you
Only you can decide what the best course of action is for your particular circumstances. I hope it works out for you.
mankkeli: You asked LeavingWT - "Of what value is sharing what is in your heart if it would strain the relationship between you and those around you?"
Are you serious!?!? Two Questions and corresponding Answers:
Please do NOT blame those of us that are not willing to be manipulated by others for causing the problem. Virtually every answer you have received shows that those of us that "woke up" and left JWs are more than willing to (or at least attempt to) have a healthy, happy relationship with our family members and former friends.
It is the not-too-subtle coercion of religiously enforced shunning that even makes the issue you bring up a question.
Last Q&A:
End of discussion,
Daniel
I just visited cousins that I haven't seen in 20 years. We grew up together, but because of this satanic relgion (no I don't believe in satan) I didn't reach out to them. When I was with them, we laughed, we carved pumpkins, we went to a haunted house, we talked about Christmas, we watched scary movies---I was NOT SEPARATE from them. I was one of them and we were a family. So Much Better!
And BTW, this comment makes me a bit dizzy. WHAT?
The answer is simple, atheism is as useless as theism.
Perhaps animism is the answer then!
