Well I have a choice to make

by Igot2bme 47 Replies latest jw friends

  • Igot2bme

    @Scully- I thought about that too, I would totally do that if it would do me some good. I agree with you that they would just take thier law into thier own hands and get rid of me on thier own!

    @LV101-That would be so awesome! I feel I gave them way to much ammo to for them to keep me around. But I guess I could mess with them for a little while, I'll have to think about that. I would love to be a pain in the ass to my in laws as much as I can! That would be the only reason why I'd hang around!

  • Lozhasleft

    Well done to you for tackling them head on like that. It must have taken courage. The consequences will change your life, in a good way. There's a great deal to be said for being honest and true to your conscience. Shame they dont try it more often, but who knows how your words will affect them in the long term, and others that they may relate them to?

    Loz x

  • Igot2bme

    @Lozhasleft- When they came to my door they had these stern looks on thier faces like they were going to school me. I am so glad I had a few brewskis before they showed up! At the end of it all they were more than happy to get the heck out! I hope they took my words to heart.

  • cantleave

    Igot2beme and anonymous.

  • sizemik

    As Scully said, you don't have to write a DA letter . . . some feel they need to make a record of their reasons in writing. Others see it as pandering to their rules and requirements. If you're inclined more to the latter . . . they simply need to be told that you are done with them and they can do what they like. Your preference is to simply end the matter there. There doesn't need to be any unnecessary drama. You have a choice.


  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Wishing you all the best, freedom tastes wonderful...x Stick to your guns, youve had great advice on this thread.....x

    What this Phillip Morris thing? Dont know about that..

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Tell them if they want to come around and have a sensible conversation they are welcome, but you can't resign from something that doesn't exist. There will be no letter.

    Giving them a letter just reinforces their delusion that they are important.

    Tell them you didn't ask to be raised in their church, it was thrust on you by your parents, and you would appreciate it if they would just leave well enough alone and didn't stoop so low as to completely bust up your already disfunctional relationship with your family to blackmail you into giving lip service to believing doctrines you can't preach or defend with a clean conscience.

  • AGuest

    "They will expel you from their synagogues"...

    You can "expel" yourselves, of course, dear Igot2 and Anony (peace to you, both, and KUDOS for your courage!)... or you can let them do it. Me? I wouldn't make ANYTHING easy for them. If you do it yourselves, you let these elders off the hook - nothing more for them to think about ("Hey, he doesn't wanna be a part of us any more"). If you let THEM do, however... they will HAVE to think about it. Indeed, there will be at least one meeting about it. One or both of those who visited you will HAVE to think about what you shared with them. That may be to your credit; who knows whether something you said didn't actually "sound down" in them? Perhaps you planted a seed... and the process they must go through will further "water" it (especially if any of them decided to "research" some of what you stated/asked).

    So, again, I would NOT make it easy for them. If my staying only to be DF'd gave them even minimal pause to think on what I shared with them... then it's worth the delay and ultimate demise, IMHO. Of course, in the end, it's your choice: you both must do what YOU feel you must.

    Again, peace to you... and may JAH bless and give you strength... through Christ... whatever you choose to do.

    A slave of Christ,


  • I quit!
    I quit!

    Good job Igot2bme. Your screen name says it all. Once you know it's a scam you can never be yourself if you try to stay in it and living a lie will would eat away at you.

    You said you felt sorry for the elders that came to see you. I think that is a good thing. It shows that you are leaving the WT for the right reason. In the interest of truth and that you still care about those you are leaving behind. That attitude will help you get on with your life and avoid being bitter.

    Expect some bad behavior from those that you thought were your friends.

  • jamiebowers

    I'm shocked they gave you a choice. In December 1988 I was given two choices: remain in an abusive marriage or divorce and stalk the man who was threatening to kill me in order to prove adultery on his part. Still a true believer, I told the elders I couldn't do either one and offered to da. Their response was, "Don't bother. We'll df you instead."

    Apparently they jumped the gun, because a few months later my mom and step-father arrived unannounced and uninvited, (just as the elders had), and asked me if my ex was free to remarry. In that moment I knew that there was no getting this guy out of my life, so I said that he was free. I didn't remember that conversation until recently and went for more than 20 years having no idea why I'd been df'd. But I didn't care then, and I don't care now. This is a vile corporation that will stop at nothing to get blind obedience, regardless of the cost. Anyone not willing to gve that is cut off.

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