Im disfellowshipped

by newcomer1982 45 Replies latest jw experiences

  • newcomer1982

    Thanks for everyone's comments. Will keep posting how im getting on.

  • stuckinlimbo
  • stuckinlimbo
  • OnTheWayOut

    It sounds strange, but "Congratulations" is the proper response when someone is kicked out of the Jehovah's Witnesses. SO CONGRATULATIONS.

    I feel guilty for hurting my parents.

    Unless you physically (and personally) injured your parents, you cannot worry about what you have done "hurting" them. A silly high-control group set up some high-control rules that you broke. Regardless of which rules you broke, if it was not illegal, it's your life. I know saying you cannot worry about it is not going to prevent you from feelings of guilt. But really, learn how the JW's do not have "the truth" and accept that breaking their rules is okay.

    They cant talk to me now.

    Try to remember that this is training from that high-control group.

  • Nickolas

    It may not feel that way now, but this is the best thing that could happen to you and now it's up to you not to bend to the blackmail that is shunning. You are on your way to a great new life. This first bit will be a little painful, but it was not your doing but the Watchtower's. You are innocent. Treat your parents and family with love but stand your ground and hold your head high.

  • punkofnice

    Newcomer -

    I'm disfellowshipped

    Not here you're not!

    In any case I thought your parents could still talk to you about 'necessary business'. Better get some 'necessary business' on the cooker.

    Just continue to show them unconditional love. JWs only know conditional love so the genuine thing may phase them in a good way.

    Welcome here newcomer!

    Stick around and talk to helps not just you but others and those that lurk afraid to post!

  • trailerfitter

    Hi I have never been in the organisation but have had to start my life all over again more than once. I would advice writng a list of things you have to work and living duties etc then write a list of things you would like to do even a holiday you would really like.

    When you go away on holiday or a trip you are surrounded by people who are also away from tend to make friends easier that way. One step at a time. I realise it is hard but people honestly the majority of us are not like what the WT say we are.

  • DaCheech

    you can't look at the 1% of the people ignoring you.................. you gotta look at the other 99%!

    find a new hobby, where you gonna meet new people

  • fade_away

    I agree with stuckinlimbo. Couldn't have said it better myself. Lol! Seriously though, it's normal to feel guilty at first but remember that you didn't do anything wrong. Did you kill someone? Did you steal something? Did you physically hurt someone? Did you cheat on your spouse? If not, then you haven't done anything wrong! If you say you emotionally hurt people, you're wrong. YOU didn't do that. The WT is emotionally hurting your family by restricting communication with you and lying to them about your demise in Armageddon. THEY are hurting your family, not you.

  • WTWizard

    Actually, it is the Washtowel religion that hurt your parents. Of course, they seek to blame you (if you didn't get disfellowshipped, this hurt wouldn't have happened). But it is really their fault--the witlesses' stupid rules about children getting baptized at age 6 and then having their lives ruined if they break one of the stupid rules.

    What you ought to do is make sure, to the best of your ability, that your son never sees the inside of a Kingdumb Hell or gets dragged into that religion any more. If it means finding another church, so be it. Check several of them out--Catholic and Protestant denominations, and a few different churches of each denomination. You might also do community service, or pursue something you always wanted to but were kept too busy with field circus or prohibited from doing by their rules. Starting with celebrating the holidays, with your son if possible, will help out. At the very least, your son will not want to go to that religion where such are "wicked". Enjoying good music that the Washtowel doesn't like is another way of enjoying being out, as is doing something for fun while the others in your congregation are stuck at a boasting session.

    Looking at this forum was a good start--the guilt from the religion becomes much less severe when you realize it's all hot air.

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