Im disfellowshipped

by newcomer1982 45 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Quarterback

    Sorry, NewComer...That is pages 466-473, of the Aug 1, 1974 WatchTower.

  • agonus

    There will be a lot more DFed in the not-too-distant future, trust me. The WT/GB are losing their control on the flock and are tightening their grip. More and more damning information exposing them for the dishonest hypocrites they are is coming to light all the time.

    Whatever sin you feel you've committed, God and Christ will forgive you if you're repentant - and, hell, even if you're NOT repentant. It's what they do. Look to them for forgiveness and salvation, not deluded power-mongering psychos in New York.

  • Ding

    Please realize that the WTS has programmed you to feel that everything is your fault, not theirs.

    The entire WT system is dependent on making JWs feel constantly inadequate, guilty, and fearful.

  • chicken little
    chicken little

    You are experiencing feelings that must be overwhelming. Your guilt is not founded on anything solid, it is a result of your parents choice to shun you. They should feel guilt. Your child comes first now and you need to seek out people that will support you and listen to you. Do you have any free counseling services in town? Otherwise contact your doctor and have a chat about the situation and also go to your childs school and speak with the teachers in case they see any unusual behaviour.

    Keep positive, you are taking steps to regaining your life and helping your child to have freedom. I wish you all the best, keep posting on here and share your pain. Smile and wave at anyone who shuns you, then keep walking with your head high and a smile on your face.


    Chicken little

  • newcomer1982

    Thanks again for everyone's comments. I just feel so overwhelmed about the whole situation. My parents were letting me live in their house the last 3 years while they lived elsewhere but now cause dad is an elder they have told me i have to move out. I cant afford to pay rent on my own. Im a single parent. The stress is unbelievible and is making me physically sick. Hope something comes up. Be great to have loads of money but unfortunately i havent.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    There is nothing in the rules about shunning, or evicting, a non-beleiving, of DFd family member living under their roof.

    If they claim there is, make them show you the documentation. They are going beyond what is written. Make them well aware of that.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Their own public website

    The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home.

    You are not living outside the family home.

  • Intel

    newcomer1982: The transition will be sometimes scary and hurtful, but be assured what everybody here is telling you:


    Right now the wheels are spinning and you might think that you can't handle it, but you WILL be able to handle "all the shit" coming your way, you will become stronger, your survival skills will awake!!!! You will find a new, better home (YOURS! where you cannot be evicted), you will find a good job, you will make more money...

    ....EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE. You are not in the situation of THIS GUY - and yet he still pulls himself up!!!! Watch this if you can - I promise it will lift you up:

    "If I fail.....I try again, again and again......ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH STRONG?"

    I am asking you newcomer1982: "Are YOU going to finish STRONG?" - I don't know you personally, but I think you CAN DO THIS! YOU CAN DO THIS!

    You see? I don't even know you and I have already more belief in you than maybe your parents, you know why? Because you are here, you have "survived" the cult, you have a beautiful son (that in itself tells me something about you as a person)

    I have myself lost family, "friends", a business relationship with "my brother" that I builded for years.....and finally my wife and my baby girl (she is 3)....but,......

    YOU AND I HAVE GAINED something that is very valuable: F R E E D O M. Humans have died for this precious gift. Human lifes have fallen on the battlefields because of this. Remember this.

    Feel free to write, express and don't forget to cry. Once in a while it is good to have a good crying and to enjoy the relieving feeling afterwards.

    I, personally, wish you the Best there is in Life. You can do it.

  • nugget

    how you are feeling is perfectly understandable since this is how you have been conditioned to feel by years of indoctrination. It also depends on your reasons for being Df'd as well since these can add to your feelings of guilt.

    Be aware that although things seem bad now they will get better but it will take time to make the mental adjustment. See this as a break a chance to re-evaluate and determine whether this religion has a right to demand the total submission it requires from it's members. If the religion proves to be corrupt then anything it does and anything it gets it's members to do lacks credibility. Your family still in are the ones to be pitied they are good people forced to behave badly by a cult.

  • TheListener

    Isn't it awful that when someone needs help the most they get treated the worst by witnesses.

    A religion that must tear you down and make you miserable in order for you to "come back" is not a religion, it's a cult.

    I'm truly sorry you're going through this. Just remember that there are a lot of other people out there who know what you're going through and how tough it is. Feel free to vent here anytime.

    Another poster recommended making new friends. That sounds like a great idea.

    I know you're disfellowshipped but I don't know how much of the witness teachings you reject or accept. So, if you have any lingering doubts about the WT being right you should read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz and you could do research on points that have bothered you in the past.

    Sometimes the pain of being shunned can be eased by knowing for certain that the shunners are wrong in their beliefs and wrong for shunning you. It isn't Christlike to shun.

    Good luck and I wish you the best.

Share this