Im disfellowshipped

by newcomer1982 45 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Billzfan23

    The last meeting my son ever attended was the one where my DF'ing was announced. He was 9 years old, everyone in the hall was crying - my daughter was asking out loud - "Why are they talking about daddy?" and the presiding overseer came up to my son after the meeting - put his hand on his shoulder, and said "Now matter what happens with your dad, your heavenly father Jehovah will never leave you"

    My son walked out to his mother's car, got in, called me from his cell-phone, and never went to another meeting. He's going to be 14 in January and still refuses to go.

    Newcomer1982, GET YOUR SON AWAY FROM THOSE PEOPLE! Do anything you can to build as strong a relationship and form as tight a bond as you can for his sake. Most importantly, be as disruptive an influence on his spirituality as you can - PM me if you want some tips or want to kind of know what you might be in for down the road.

  • Lozhasleft

    I know how horrible it feels, I've been there. For a while its so traumatic and you will experience every emotion you can think of, but then you will get angry and see really how wrong it all is. That will lead you to recovering, slowly but surely. Start to research and dig around for the real truth about the 'Truth'. You will discover that its a very good thing that you are free and that your son has a normal future ahead.

    Stick around here and keep sharing ...there are some lovely people here offering comfort and support. We'll all be glad to help you.

    Loz x

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    So to save his position in the Kingdom Hall your Father is willing to kick you ,and his grandchild out of a house he has formerly allowed you to live in ????

    Does that sound like 'true Christian love' or even 'natural affection' ?

    To me it sounds like manipulation ,and spiritual blackmail ... Because they know you will be faced with increased hardship without their assisstance ,and this will make you easier to control when you feel you have no other choice than to follow 'the rules' of the organization .

    Now is the time for you to decide ,are you going to stand on your own two feet ? Do you want your own child to grow up in a religion that coerces parents to behave this way ?

    Do not fall into the trap of guilt being laid at your feet . It is a tool used to control you . You are an adult I assume . You have the right to make your own choices now .

    Find sources to help you in your area for single Mothers . Local Churches can be a big help ! Many have programs willing to help a person such as yourself ,especially in a small town .(I live in one myself ,and was amazed after leaving the Witnesses ,how very helpful and truly organized local Churches were in helping those in need .)

    Chin -up girl you can do this . Much encouragement and good advice can be found on this site . Courage to you !

  • mouthy

    You feel bad now. But give it time. I was kicked out cos I dont believe Jesus came invisably in 1914....
    I have lost family who listen to the orders of men in the WT,"Dont speak to your Mother" law.
    But if you really think about it are we not ordered by GOD to "love thine enemies"?? If the WT
    considers we are their enemy, shoukld they not obey that law???YES THEY SHOULD!!!
    I would say you are doing as the LORD told you to do ...THINK!!!!use the brain he gave us.

    Dont follow men...all we are ordered to do is LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR!!!!! Dont give up on
    Jesus Christ!!!!HE is the WAY! TRUTH! LIFE! asks nothing of us but to love one another.
    Do unto others as we would like done to us. Keep on praying!!! ask for guidence,direction,
    Your on a right track
    Mouthy.Granny, Grace

  • Quarterback

    I'm surprised that your parents are kicking you out of the home that you and your son have become comfortable with. Sounds like their gift to you had strings attached. You may have to encounter a lower standard of living setback. This is the result of the Disfellowshiping ruling. They are putting pressure on your dad, and sounds like they are winning. How sad that is.

    I know of some that have moved into their parents home when they needed help. But, this does affect the dad's privilledges in the congregation. I remember a Bible drama at a District Convention that showed a father stepping down as an Elder to help his disciplined daughter. The Elder father was willing to do that. Your dad seems to like his position more than the security his own daughter and grandson. I know some parents in the faith that are like that. I also know of some parents that will give this up to help their children. There is no shelter from this pain, unfortunately. This is what I would describe as a good reason to cry over. Crying is not bad, it helps in the healing process.

    Talk to a counsellor, and tell them that you need some shelter for yourself and son. This will deal with your shelter needs, but, the pain from your parents cutting you off, is wrong. Not like the Prodigal Son, who the father gave him his inheritance. His son's bad deeds, didn't prevent him from what was entitled to him. His father may of disliked the son's decision, but, he was a fair righteous man. That reasoning is being clouded over by the Society's shunning ruling.

    I truly hope that things will work out.

  • Bella15

    Things may not look right at the moment, but things will get better but you also have to be intentional about it. I second all the suggestions given before, read about cults, research the Watchtower Corporation from its beginnings, and if I may add do not stop talking to God Creator (if you still believe in that). Not related but once I told God, I am willing to die for you (and I mean it) but I will not remain married for you (was in a bad marriage ... husband liked another man better ) but anyway, being truthful and honest with GOD helped me so much in that period of my life. Good luck.

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