Am I on thin ice with my friend?

by cedars 45 Replies latest jw experiences

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  cedars

  I'm a former MTS graduate, and it's a long story but I recently became inactive after realising it was all nonsense. The problem is, I've noticed that my MTS background makes it almost impossible for people to accept my new status as an "inactive" one. People think that, given the amount of knowledge I have, there is surely no excuse for me to reach this preposterous decision.

  A friend from my MTS recently began emailing me to find out my reasons. I've mostly been avoiding giving my reasons to anyone, because the last thing I want is for anyone to accuse me of being an apostate, so I figure the more elusive I am the better. Apart from anything else, certain members of my family are still witnesses, and I can't bear the thought of being unjustly separated from them.

  However this particular friend is an elder, so I figure what's the harm in explaining why I am so "confused" and unable to go on the ministry so long as it's just between me and him as an elder?

  Is this a dangerous strategy? Could this backfire on me? Any tips?

  I look forward to hearing your thoughts...
• 

  leavingwt

  DO NOT EXPRESS ANY DOUBTS ABOUT THE WT SOCIETY TO YOUR FRIEND.
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  cedars

  How do you forward a reasonable argument for being inactive while at the same time voicing complete admiration and conviction towards the society?
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  Magwitch

  Keep your mouth shut to your elder friend if you do not want to be disfellowshipped.

  How do you forward a reasonable argument for being inactive

  ... You cannot, so say nothing
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  Honesty

  Listen to leavingwt.

  DO NOT EXPRESS ANY DOUBTS ABOUT THE WT SOCIETY TO YOUR FRIEND.

  Tell your friend that you are suffering from frequent bouts of depression.

  That usually does the trick because the dumbasses don't know how to deal with a JW with depression.

  They usually avoid them like the plague and just hope the depressed JW will not show up at a gathering to depress everyone there.
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  cedars

  Yikes, I had no idea the prognosis was so grim for my situation. I guess I had better wrap things up sharpish!
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  cantleave

  Unless you want out - keep your thoughts to yourself.
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  leavingwt

  How do you forward a reasonable argument for being inactive while at the same time voicing complete admiration and conviction towards the society?

  It's not your fault.

  You cannot have this conversation with him. Why? Because he's been trained to detect the slightest hint of DISLOYALTY.

  Do you know what happens to disloyal people? Jesus will slit their throats at Armageddon, which could arrive as early as tomorrow. He is not allowed to be friends with disloyal people. This would make him disloyal, resulting in his slit throat.

  You can thank your (conditional) friend for his concern, and then ask him to "respect your privacy during this difficult time". You can assure him that when you're ready to talk about it, he'll be the first person that you call.
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  sabastious

  Cat's out of the bag. Your background does put massive expectation on your shoulders in the WT world. A former MTS inactive witness will not sit well with any serious congregation publisher and this encounter with your friend is one of the first experiences you'll have to deal with (if you are fresh out, I don't remember). You are a blemish now, cedars, it's just the way their system works.

  When I had doubts I told everybody everything, and most of my family shun me now. It's not like I didn't know that was the probability, I just didn't like the thought of having to sneak around. However, my goal was to expel the thought police from my life permanently and if that meant starting over with relationships outside my marriage then it was worth it, to me.

  Don't fool yourself into thinking you can persuade anyone out because it doesn't work that way. If you are able to persuade them out without getting caught then they would have eventually left themselves. I'm not acussing you as such, but it's always good to be reminded of the futility, and possible personal detriment, of such efforts. Your "friend" can, and in all probability will, sound the alarm at the first sign of what he feels is trouble.

  -Sab
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  leavingwt

  I failed to mention the worst part of this: If you tell him the truth, he'll say all sorts of hurtful things to you and about you.