From my first PT at the age of 21, the old 55minute outline, I had difficulty "knocking it in to shape" as I used to call it. Very soon I was producing my own outlines, and therefore choosing the subject.This was the early '70's, along came the Elder arrangement, and they let me continue "as you do so well" with my own outlines, even after a hint or two from above that this was not a good idea.
Eventually a stern letter from the control freaks at Bethel forbidding such a pracitice brought it to an end for me.I continued giving P.T's home and away , knocking the outlines in to shape, and a number of times Elders were surprised that I was supposedly giving the same talk they had given before, as the resemblance was slim.
Looking back I now realise I was incapable of delivering any WT nonsense, the words I spoke were Bible based, so no one could criticise the content.
As I gradually reversed out of the Borg, whilst not realising this was what was happening to me, I refused to do any more PT's , despite requests from other Congos for my talks. I could not find an outline acceptable to me, I was also sick of the elevation of Public Speakers as something special, most were in fact near illiterate, or if not, then spiritually bereft.
If I was forced in to the situation today of giving a talk, as some think they are, I would still only teach what I believed, my conscience never would let me do anything else, which led to my walking away from the twisted WT, cold turkey.
How on earth can you live with yourself , teaching lies ???