Fading into oblivion may not happen. Access to a Flock Book = Apostate Contact to them. So you are now on radar their guns aimed at you to remove the wicked one.
Email exchange between myself (MS) and Elder...getting myself in hot water?
i just want to be deleted as a MS then fade into oblivion
If you just want to be deleted as an MS, just cut your hours in field service. If you fall below the national average, then when the CO comes, he'll recommend that you be removed until you get your average back up.
Then - you just slowly quit going to meetings.
But - it may be too late to fade since you've done gone and put in writing some of your apostate thinking... and worse...you've posted that email chain on the Internet for all the world to see.
I don't think fading into oblivion is an option anymore. I think you've said too much, so now they'll be working to "encourage" and "counsel" you...which is the opposite of what you wanted. Of course, if oblivion is the end result you wish, you could just let them DF you into oblivion. Once they DF you, you'll be as good as dead to them anyway.
Here's hoping that you can find a way to fade. ... ooo, and here's hoping that the elder you were talking to doesn't lurk around JWN (since your thread doesn't seem to be in the members section)
Like others have said, you're on the radar now for sure. BUT perhaps if you drop it completely, tell him you had a bad day and we're frustrated or something, it'll cool off. Wiggle out of what you already wrote. Then fade, with mouth wide shut. Good luck.
Or...go guns a blazin'
is the concern some of you expressed about df-ing and elder vindictiveness based on personal experience or personal opinion.. i dont see our body as that vindictive. just curious to hear why the paranoia?
ummmm have you read some lynching stories on this site? When you wave the flag of apostacy the bulls come running! It's OK you will be better off!FS
getting myself in hot water?
Yes. You are getting yourself into hot water. If you don't want to be DF'd, you'll want to follow-up with this guy and apologize, telling him that you were having a bad day. You can remind him of how thankful you are to be a part of God's Organization, etc, etc.
Cult members are trained to pick up on the LEAST bit of negativity towards Mother.
Expect further questioning, at which time you'll need to lie or incriminate yourself. Remember: These people love "Jehovah" more than they love you. They won't think twice about expelling an apostate. They earn brownie points in Heaven when they "keep the congregation clean".
i dont see our body as that vindictive. just curious to hear why the paranoia?
Maybe they aren't. Every elder body is different.
But - from the emails that you posted, as soon as you questioned something, your elder contact immediately latched onto your "wavering". A flag has been raised. You are a dissenter.
As long as you presist in voicing your dissent, you will be suspect of apostacy. And nothing gets an elder body riled into action like a good case of apostacy. They have to keep the congregation clean. And if they even think you might be influencing anyone else in the congregation, they will make an example out of you to send a message to any other would-be dissenters.
Why the paranoia? When people are out to get you, then paranoia is just good thinking. Seriously though - elders represent the WTS and when push comes to shove, if they are loyal to the WTS, they will throw you under the bus quicker'n you can say 'overlapping generations' in order to preserve the authority of the organization in the congregation.
You cannot trust your closest friend in WTS land when it comes to faith related topics. Sure there are few and far between witnesses who will stick with you when you express to them you don't believe wts is god directed that's why most expressed concern if you will be able to fade now. My suggestion, tell them as little as possible, stop all activities and don't worry about it. You will be taken of MS list - with or without an announcement - and you'll get shepherding call but never say anything more than you're depressed and are seeing a doctor something that will keep them away for a while. Tell them you need alone time to work through your depression. NEVER EVER say you don't believe this is God's Org or you will be DF for apostasy. Just because some elder bodies aren't "vindictive" doesn't mean they won't DF if you tell them honestly what you think of WTS or GB. If you don't want to lie, don't say anything just stop all jw activities and play the depression/sickness card.
Best to you