OK this just hit me the other day.
I was a sister in my early 40 an adult. A very bad child molester moved into the hall, and was starting to be used. I knew of his background and could not stand him or stand to see him gaining the apporval of the elders and congregation. My husband was an elder had been one for about 28 years at the time and my husband was in his late 50's. My husband was the school overseer.
So I am watching this child molester worm his way into friendships with members of the hall even handing out magazines, going behind the counters, etc. Going out in service all the time, once even conducting a meeting for field service, I am being told Jehovah will take care of it and for me not to worry my pretty head over it. Just let the big strong elders and Jehovah take care of it.
Up until this point in the religion I had tried to be the good little elder's wife and to just let the big strong elders with their brief bag and their confidential provote e der's meetings handle everything, but this just started to really eat at me.
So I went to the PO COBE and told him what I knew. My husband had told me he had also told the body but I saw nothing happening expect that the child molester was getting more and more bold in reaching out in the hall. Well the COBE was very nice to me, truly he was he thanked me and said he would keep his eye on the problem and of course not to worry my pretty little head over it that I would never have to work in field service with the child molester or his wife, etc and that the elders had a handle on it all.
So then nothing happens. Another month goes by and the child molester is just puffing up more and more in the hall and also odly enough trying to be around me more and more by sitting close to where my husband and I sat in the hall etc. So I went to the secretary and told him what I knew. That was a huge mistake. He hugely blew up at me. We were standing by the drinking fountain in the back of the hall there were people around us but still he pointed his finger in my face demanding to know how I knew this person was a child molester. He asked me who had told me? He was not yelling but his voice was a hiss of peer anger and he was red in the face. I lost it and just started to cry really I was sobbing which just made this elder ever madder at me because some of congregation started to look at us.
The elder left me in a rage and I went to our car still just sobbing. My husband came out asked what was going on and when I told him he got mad at me. He said I should not have talked to the elder alone and what did I expect, etc. That night I was so distressed that I honestly thought of committing suicide. My husband was mad at me for a couple of days. The next couple of meetings were hell with the way the secretary and many of the other elders treated me. The only good outcome was the secretary did finally after over three months get a letter from the child molester's former hall stating indeed he was a pedophile.
For all of these past four years I have felt stupid at what I did, even after being on this board I have still felt stupid. I should have known better I kept thinking. Why did I even think to talk alone to an elder, what is wrong with me? I have beaten myself up over and over at what I did thinking why was I so stupid?
Than it just downed on me last Friday at work what the heck am I thinking. I was an adult women who approached an adult man in public about a problem that I felt was huge and could harm children and this adult man throws a temper tantrum. He was hissing at me and he blew up in anger and yet everyone told me I was in the wrong because I was a sister a women and I did not know my place.
I was thinking Friday even if I was in the wrong, which I still feel I was not wrong but even if I was how he reacted was horrible. Then for me to be blamed by everyone including my husband just adds even more the wongness of this.
What other religion would a leader, pastor, etc be able to treat a member as horribly as this elder did me and nothing happen? I never got any apology God forbid. I got nothing but to be told to never do it again.
I finally downed on me why I have such huge depression all my life. I hated myself for all of these years because I spoke out as an adult to another adult and I guess as a JW women that should never happen?
This was just one of many, many times I have been talked down to in the religion and all of the years that that I have hated myself, because of believing I was bad or in the wrong.
I am finally starting to get really mad at what has happened to me all of these years. If people could just see inside this religion and how women are treated with such contempt I know it would be a huge shock to many when they open their doors to the smiling happy JW's Saturday morning.
LITS