Sister are not to talk to the brothers alone

by life is to short 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • NewChapter

    LITS, if you hadn't spoke up who would have? Certainly not the pansy assed elders that were mighty up next to a woman trying to protect children but itty bitty little mice when it came to questioning a child molester! And why did it take so long for the old cong to write such an important letter????? They needed to err on the side of safety. They didn't. Maybe if you hadn't been so strong that letter never would have arrived. Their god knows certainly the predator had quite the opportunity to rack up some more victims while the spirit appointed losers dragged their feet.

    Good for you! They are so boxed in by their endless rules they simply can't act on common sense. They have to look it up, pray about it, and WAIT. So little trust is placed in them, they are so impotent, it's no mystery why they lash out at women that say "hey look" and fail to protect chidren. Even their own.


  • LongHairGal

    LITS: I am sorry to hear of how you were treated--- I heard a story in the early days that they didn't want a woman alone with a man because SHE might make a false accusation against him LOL. What a joke! Thankfully, I was never in your position. I would have called the POLICE and then the idiots in this little fiefdom would have to explain themselves to the authorities. Being a single woman, I would have to speak up for myself. I am not married to these idiots and they aren't supporting me and I didn't have to take their shit. I refused to tolerate disrespect from stupid men and this is a primary reason why I am no longer involved with this sorry excuse of a religion!

  • Violia

    elders have been advised to not talk to sisters alone for a very long time. The flip side is as Scully / Blondie said, you'll need a friend who you can rely on to back you up as to anything that is said. The elders will will often lie and not bat an eye. It's theocratic warfare . BTW, the legal dept will not back up elders who break the law , like those lie underoath, who chose to stalk folks, take pictures etc, FYI. the law does not recognize theocratic warfare. basically, if someone can prove you lied , stalked whatever broke the law, you are on your on, legal won't help you.

  • Scully

    With all the electronic gadgets out there, it wouldn't be a huge problem to have your cell phone / iPhone set to voice record a conversation, even if you did have another person there as an eyewitness to the conversation. That way your "trusted friend" can't beg off or conveeeeniently "forget" if the Elders™ start trying to intimidate you or them.

  • nugget

    I am sorry that you have had to endure such nonsense. You are right in the real world you did the right thing. You identified a threat to the congregation and rather than gossiping to others you went to the elders with your concerns. The appropriate response would have been for them to investigate discreetly and offer reassurance or take action if necessary.

    It was not their job to belittle you, make you cry and create a scene in the hall. In witness world his behaviour is not untypical in fact it is hard to know how you could have handled this and not had to face the same stupid response. It seems as if your husband was not very supportive either and shame on him. He could have spared you humiliation if he had been prepared to sort this out himself.

    As a parent I thank you for your efforts and you vigilence, this was not my hall but I would like to think that someone like you was there fighting for the safety of my children. Accept that these men were idiots, bullies and complacent tools of a corrupt organisation and that you have nothing to reproach yourself for.

  • mostlydead

    I love how you mention that the reality of the situation "dawned" on you after four years. Talk about the light getting brighter! It's incredible how long the tentacles of guilt and doubt can reach after we quit this organization. When you look at the situation and what really happened (adult A speaks to adult B about concerns for the safety of children in the group) you can see there was absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Nothing real, that is. Everything you felt was due to the programming your mind was entangled in. You broke out of that and into the light! You've claimed your right to see what you see and know what you know. This is a huge step in the right direction for you!

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    Thanks everyone.

    Scully and Blondie you are both right on in what you have said. At the time this all started to happen to me it was 2006 and I was a true believer. I would never have dared to be on this web sight EVER back then, so I just went along with everything believing the elders were appointed by holly spirit. How gullible was I? It was not until things got worse and worse and in 2008 I finally found the courage to check the internet and found Randy's freeminds sight that linked me to here.

    How I wish I had known of this place back in 2002 when dateline aired.

    Anyway Scully you are so right about the new cell phone's. I just got a new one this weekend, it was one of the cheaper ones and yet it still does everything like recording voice. If you ever talk to an elder even with someone else there always have your phone turned on or some kind of recording device, the elders probably will refuse to listen to the recording when you confront them in their lie, but it will cover you to some extent. At the very least they know you know they lied even if it cannot be used in court.

    nugget thanks for your kind words. This religion is just so very hurtful.


  • life is to short
    life is to short


    You are so right on. It has been a huge struggle to break free but the more I do the more free I feel. It is just so amazing how strongly the guilt the put inside me stayed in my mind. I still have along way to go but I am trying to get there.


  • WTWizard

    This is why the religion is a disgrace. It's one thing that there are pedophiles in it. It is another when they will silence anyone that knows about it, keeping the problem hidden from view. Or worse, who will intentionally expose children to such--if this pig ever got assigned as an assistant hounder or hounder despite being a known pedophile, he could have easily arranged to molest someone in the name of a hounding call. Not to mention going out in field circus, arranging field circus--so he could be alone with a child (or several children) if he ever got into a house at a door.

    Then they go and make anyone that confronts them look terrible. The secretary, who knows about the pedophile, owes you more than an apology. Perhaps if he had to pay you several monster boxes of silver (at whatever price he has to pay for them), it would make him think twice before blowing off someone that knows about the problem trying to not be exposed to it. And it would make anyone else that is tempted to respond in kind think twice--unless they have the silver to waste (and it has to be silver, not devaluable dollars or other devaluable currency--so it will not become a token punishment). And, he should be brought into question if he is even qualified to serve in any capacity after demeaning a "sister" for bringing this problem to his attention. He was the one that tried to arrange you to be exposed to a pervert--he knew this pig was a weirdo, and he knew you knew he was a weirdo. It is this, more so than the mere presence of pedophiles, that disgraces the religion.

  • Quandry

    He hugely blew up at me. We were standing by the drinking fountain in the back of the hall there were people around us but still he pointed his finger in my face demanding to know how I knew this person was a child molester. He asked me who had told me? He was not yelling but his voice was a hiss of peer anger and he was red in the face.

    Yep. You dared to try to usurp the "good ol' boy" network. You wanted to make waves. You wanted to insinuate you knew something they didn't. You didn't "go through your husband with a concern."

    How are you and your husband about this now? Is the pedo still in the congregation? Aren't you glad you're out and don't have to have more fingers in your face?

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