Never, ever posted to a site before-Scarec silly

by PaintedToeNail 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • Reopened Mind
    Reopened Mind


    Your courage in posting here is commendable especially with a husband who is still a believing JW.

    You ask, "What else is there to believe in?" This is a reflection of the WT saying of "Where will we go away to?" To the latter question, there is a whole wide world to explore. To the former question, you don't have to believe in anything at least for the moment. Take the time to explore new ideas without WT glasses. Open your mind and decide for yourself. It's a scary journey for sure but it will be your journey.

    Much good advice has already been given. Give heavy consideration to what nugget said. Think deeply about how the isolation of being raised in a closed cult will affect your children, how it robs them of normal social interaction. They need to make their own mistakes without the threat of disfellowshipping hanging over their heads. And, yes, they will make them. Be there to pick them up, not kick them out. My husband, TotallyADD, was raised a JW and we raised our two boys in the cult.

    Do as much research as you can. There is much on the internet if you don't feel you can get your hands on a book. You also have a lot of support here as there is someone here who has experienced each aspect of what you have been through. If you would be more comfortable you can post in the members only section or pm any one of us. Just let us know by posting, for example, "Reopened Mind you have a pm".

    Relax and take your time. The world is not going to end anytime soon.

    Reopened Mind

  • snowbird


    Just relax - it's gonna be alright.

    We don't bite, scratch, or pull covers.

    Your doubts are well-founded.

    Trust your instincts.

    May you be blessed in whatever you decide to do.


  • thetrueone

    Welcome to the forum PaintedToeNails

    You mentioned.....

    Oh well. I am still attending meetings with my family, as I'm happy that being raised as a JW, I never felt free to blow my mind with drugs, blacken my lungs with smoking, or become a spermbag with some incurable veneral disease. I want my kids to have these restrains too. Nothing wrong with not subsidizing the murdering drug cartels in Mexico, Big Tobacco in the US, nor subsidizing assorted men with my vagina. We love to travel and certainly wouldn't be able to if we indulged in the first two vices.

    You've made an assumption that people who are not JWS are full of destructive vices and the only way to separate oneself from these vices

    is you have to be a JWS are some other religious faith.

    Boy are you ever wrong there. Living a clean wholesome lifestyle has nothing to be with being religious or being a JWS.

    This mindset comes out self righteous ignorance by religious indoctrination in your case the JWS.

    I grew up in this faith as well for more than 20 years but after leaving I didn't stop thinking about wholesome clean living

    and I'm a devout atheist/humanist. A matter fact the people who I associate with are similar in their beliefs and they too are health

    conscience and live clean moral lives. This insinuation that once you leave religion you get overwhelmed by Satan the Devil

    and his destructive influences is nothing but posturing lies orchestrated by noneother than religious zealots trying to control people.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    Welcome! May God bless you and your family!FS

  • leavingwt


  • Quandry

    Welcome to the forum.

    I remember my hands shaking when I made my first post here, but it felt good to express what was inside me. In the KHall, we know that cannot be done without impunity.

    Why not give yourself time to do more research on JWs and their history.

    Maybe just ask hubbie if you could all take a family trip somewhere and just be together without pressure to make any decisions about the Witnesses. There will be time.

    Also, if you talk to hubbie, don't bombard him with information that you find. Ask him respectful questions about your doubts as the head of the house, and ask him to get back with you. Please don't let the WTS take your marriage and family from you.

    In the end, only you can decide your future. If you go to the KHall to keep peace, that is up to you. So glad that your child is going to college. So sad that the WTS views it as disobedience.

  • agent zero
    agent zero

    welcome PTN

    i have also been told "you think too much". in other words, youre better off not thinking, or, being a good JW = not using your brain.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Welcome to the forum.

    I am still attending meetings with my family, as I'm happy that being raised as a JW, I never felt free to blow my mind with drugs, blacken my lungs with smoking, or become a spermbag with some incurable veneral disease.

    If I may chime in a bit with Talesin on this point?

    I was trained to be a Jw, by a mother who actually could not/would not ever get busy and be a real witness. This caused me to live much of my preteen and teen years as someone who 'believed in God and the Watchtower', but also as one who did not submit to those influences until my late high-school years, when I then became an uber-zealous Jw for the next 35+ years.

    I tell you this, because, in that time period of great temptation, even without the protective cover of 'Jehovah's organization' or even religion in general, I did not 'blow my mind with drugs, blacken my lungs with smoking' or become filled with incurable STD's either [or even loose my virginity until I was married]. This was because I made good choices, and although it could be argued that I made such choices because of JW influence, I think it can also be argued that because this was my mindset [one that I have always maintained both before and after being a JW], that I was instead an easy recruit for religion and particularly for a cult that targets such persons.

    So, should I be truly thankful to Jw's? Or was I just the right personality type to have played into their hands?

    I honestly believe [knowing me] that I would have done pretty much the same things [avoided drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and illicit sexual activity] no matter had I been a JW or not. [Not to say that I might not have experimented a bit somewhere along the lines though without religious influence.]

    Sometimes I think we want to credit outside influence to our character/morals more than is deserved. Just saying.


  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    I had only [obviously] looked part way through this thread before I commented. Sorry to have repeated what was previously stated so eloquently by others before I read those comments.


  • Cadellin

    Greetings, PTN: Wow, I loved reading your post because you and I are in such similar circumstances! I, too, am a wife and mother who was raised in the "truth" by zealous yet balanced and loving parents. I had a great childhood and was convinced right up until about eight years ago that this was the ultimate and absolute truth. I, too, like you, am married to a wonderful husband who is an active elder.

    What opened my eyes was researching the Creation book and finding, to my shock and heartbreak, how many of the supposedly scientific quotes were taken grossly out of context or from non-authoritative sources. How, I wondered, could an organization that publishes material like this in the name of the God, as "food at the proper time" with all of the theological weight such description invokes, engage in such unethical--deceitful, really--behavior? That led me to actually research evolution--by this time I realized that everything I "thought" I knew about it had come from the WT--and when I started reading the accumulation of real, relevant scientific findings, I was staggered. I started posting here about that time and quickly latched on to the wonderful, amazing Leoleaia's posts about Biblical and ancient Near East history as well as her vast knowledge of NT textual and source criticism. I started reading scholarly works on the Bible and quickly realized how inept and baseless many of the claims he WT make regarding the putative historicity of the Hebrew Scriptures.

    Like you, I couldn't continue to engage in the field ministry or sit through meetings on a regular basis. This is tough, really. But it does get better. Remember, you have a right to your own beliefs. You have a right to make decisions about your life and what you will believe. I go to Sunday meetings to keep peace with my husband. In return, he doesn't pressure me to attend at other time or to engage in the ministry. As far as my child goes, I am as honest as I can be. And I respect my husband's right to teach our child what he believes. I encourage our child to make up his own mind.

    This has been longer than I intended. I just want to say how much I appreciate a new poster like you who's in the same situation I'm in. And let me add that it is possible to work out a compromise, to glean some of the good things that the WT teaches (and they do teach some good things) and let the rest roll off your back.

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