JW nephew graduation party cancelled... your insight is requested

by Alfred 64 Replies latest jw friends

  • Alfred

    I have a JW nephew in another state who was at very the top of his high school senior class this year. Because of this, my sister (an elder's wife) had planned and sent out invitations to his "graduation party" which would be held at a community center with all the bells and whistles. I actually bought plane tickets for my wife and I to attend this party immediately after receiving the invitation in the mail. Now my nephew is the most wholesome, harmless and kind-hearted kid you will ever know. So this graduation party is well deserved and earned.

    Unfortunately, his JW friend from his KH found out about this party and grew insanely jealous so he decided to expose my nephew on Facebook... What was my nephew's crime? He simply fell in love with a non-JW girl from his high school and he occasionally borrowed his father's car to go see her (while telling his elder father that he was going to his JW friend's home). Of course, my sister and her elder husband eventually found out about this unapproved relationship and immediately suspended his driving privileges and prohibited him from seeing her again while he lives under their roof... and as if that weren't enough, they also cancelled his graduation party!

    I really hope this serves to wake up my nephew... he does have an analytical mind and I'm sure he has already given this a lot of thought. I think it's a matter of time before he figures it all out. In the meantime, I'm just going to wait for the right time and give him a call... I have a pretty good idea on how to "break the ice" with him but any ideas or advice on what to say to my nephew (if/when the appropriate opportunity presents itself) will be extremely welcome...


  • Magwitch

    My heart goes out to the poor boy. This is cruel and harsh.

  • No Room For George
    No Room For George

    There's something I've always hated, dudes that are jealous of other dudes. I can understand women and girls being like that, but when a guy lets his animosity and jealousy get so out of hand that he rats out his friends, he's soft and corny to me. That's just pathetic and disgusting to me. Personally, I'd love to see you do an update on this story in a couple months that details how your nephew stomped his so called friend out and put him in the hospital. Boy does that irritate me.

  • Rocky_Girl

    That sort of jealousy is just as disgusting in females.

    That is a cruel way to punish your nephew. But maybe it will help him see the ridiculousness of the org and possibly take his "top of the class" intelligence off to college somewhere.

    Perhaps encouraging higher education is the best course of action. It doesn't trip the apostate warning bells and will lead to more critical thinking.

  • leavingwt
    I have a pretty good idea on how to "break the ice" with him but any ideas or advice on what to say to my nephew (if/when the appropriate opportunity presents itself) will be extremely welcome...

    Proceed with extreme caution. A few wrong words and this could be the last conversation you ever have with him or his parents.

    At best, you might ask one or two thought-provoking questions. Keep in mind that cult members have their ears trained to detect the slightest hint of disloyalty or murmuring.

  • Iamallcool


  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    Have they not heard of Romeo and Juliet? Maybe not read it but heard it mentioned.

    Please, please tell us he is leaving in the fall to start college away from home. I weep for him.

  • NewChapter

    After years of accomplishement, he can't even celebrate it because he's a normal teenage boy. I get that he shouldn't have lied to his dad about the car--although he certainly didn't have a lot of options. But now, not only do his achievements mean nothing they are trying to load him up with some heavy shame baggage. Encourage him to go to college. He's too good for them


  • Iamallcool

    If he needs a place to stay, I might consider to take him in. That is not a promise. PM me for details. Thanks! By the way, I do hope there are other volunteers here that are willing to consider to take him out of the cult.

  • skeeter1

    Eventually, and likely very soon, the boy will want to be independent and realizee that he's "outgrown" his childish parents. JWs punish kids for being kids. From spanking fussy infants and toddlers, to not celebrating birthdays/holidays for school aged children (even going to the classroom teacher for total embarrassment), to denying dating (unless a JW, chaparone, and with the intentions of marraige). It's not normal.

    Please, tell us he's going to college. As soon as he turns 18, can you take him in and is there a college near you? Offer it to him, I would. He needs an outlet and is likely screaming for it. I can just imagine the family confrontation that happened in his household.


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