Need Opinions -- Engaged to a JW!!

by junebug_11 100 Replies latest social relationships

  • Malachi Elijah
    Malachi Elijah

    Your boyfriend does not love Jehovah. If he did he would make a NOW decision because of the baby. It would be, there must be a marriage now, get a license, elope, or drop the realtrionship as if having a foreign wife not of the faith. Waiting is NOT Christian unless there is a conditional reason like divorce or job etc. Even then the morality in sex is a now decision, not a postponement. One thing that JWs spit on Jehovah with is the concept of not being responsible for adultery of the other person. If they serve liquor and someone gets drunk and leaves to go steal or F-ck someone, the host gets disfellowshipped despite Jesus not putting this burden on anyone. YET Jesus does say that if you divorce without adultery reason, that you have pushed the other person into adultery because they have no one to have sex with, and even by remarrying they become an adulterer because your divorce was NOT spiritually legal. YET you see no JWs disfellowshipped for divorcing on trivia and waiting until that person commits sex or gets unscripturally remarried. YOU do not plot the destruction of others' lives in games like these. The excuse that a man without job is worse than a man without faith... Jesus did not say you can divorce a man without faith. Disfellowship if you wish, but to divorce him then the wife has pushed him into adultery, guilty again, and yet they are busy disfellowshipping the jobless and the party-host of a drunk. Another act against Jehovah is the scripture that says a woman who is engaged to another man is a fornicator of sex with someone else and so then cut off. They have twisted that scripture to say it is sex with the fiance when it is clearly sex with someone other than her faince. The one who has no fiance and is single is not cut off but required to marry the man. NO DEATH. The cut off or death was because fiance sex with someone other than him is adultery of her marriage. Thus they have broken and destroyed many marriages by disfellowshipping engaged couples. One decides to stay in good standing and never makes good on the marriage obligation. This behavior of all halls is spitting on Jehovah. And they PAY the price from Jehovah himself by the results. They boast their results as GOOD while they take the same situations and call them bad of other churches. In essence false-Christian church is lying by saying A-B-C but a Hall can say the same A-B-C and its not lying merely by who they think they are. Do not people do this with Jesus... they say his word HYPOCRITE to someone is not a sin because of who he is the perfect Christ, yet you say hypocrite to someone and suddenly you are evil and a sinner and unchristian and should become a disfellowshipped JW. JEHOVAH KNOWS. JEHOVAH WATCHES. The results are Jehovah not Satan. Jehovah punishes liars. Satan rejoices.

  • VampireDCLXV

    Am I the only one who can't find even a single coherent thought in anything this guy says?


  • ziddina

    LOL!! No, Vamp, you aren't seeing things... I couldn't find a damned cohesive thought in that blather, either!

  • Chemical Emotions
    Chemical Emotions

    Being a feminist myself, and liking slightly kinky stuff "in bed", and being someone who just doesn't want to be in a cult that is so mentally controlling and abusive, I would advise against marrying someone who is determined to be part of a religion that denies everything I mentioned.

    But most importantly, consider how it will effect your child.

  • Curtains

    I feel for you junebug.

    Your opening post suggests to me that your fiance is looking for a place of safety for his family and the only place to has known is the JW religion's promotion of itself as safe place for families. But you are a mother, you have the wisdom and instinct to keep your child safe but not so safe that she cannot engage with life around her. If your finace is motivated by security issues then he needs to learn to trust your judgement and wisdom - if he isn't willing to do this now then once he returns fully to Jehovahs witnesses he will most certainly, at the instigation of the organisation, undermine your abilities and wisdom as a mother to promote the non wisdom of a shallow organisation that is bent on the survival of its identity. Jehovahs witnesses are run by a small group of childless men for childless emasculated men. All are slowly denuded of their powers and become subservient to these awful ideals

  • junebug_11

    Ok, so I have not left, I just kind of forgot that I posted here and about 2 hours ago I thought I should probably come check it, LOL.

    Again, thank you all for your replies.

    @Moshe - I really don't appreciate the tone you have. Yes, I made a mistake in my Pill-taking skills, unfortunately that one day that I missed was the one day some sperm managed to slip through there and knock me up. We made a mutual decision to keep the baby. I am pro-choice, but abortion was not the choice for me at that time, and I felt like I was mature enough and had the resources to be able to take care of the baby (not that that's any of your business). Our son has my fiance's last name, because he is his son. If it was up to my fiance, we would have been married over a year ago or even this summer; it's been MY choice that we hold off until next year. He was and is completely willing to take responsibility for his actions, including that of fathering a child out of wedlock. I am not a passive person, I am just very much on the fence as to what is the right choice for myself and my child. As I have stated, I love my fiance and he is a great man, but I am not sure if the religious pressures will be too much for our relationship. Only time will tell. I don't appreciate the condescending tone you take on in your responses to me, as if you are a teacher chastising a student. I am a grown woman and I am trying to weigh my options, hence why I posted here in the first place.

    It's difficult for me to find any differing opinions on this subject in my off-line life. The only JWs that I know are my fiance's relatives, and I don't want to cause trouble for him by voicing my many questions/doubts/differing opinions. Again, this is why I posted here in the first place.

    I still have a lot to think about, so I thank you all again for offering your opinions and experiences.

  • pedal power
    pedal power

    Hi Juni, welcome back, dont let Moshes post get to you he is a bit of an extremist know all, you will find 99% of posts here are well balanced, and made with a great deal of insight, take care

  • Velour

    @Vamp - yeah, I've not a clue what's up with this person. That person left a friggin' 3 post novel on one of my posts- it had not a d*mn thing to do with the original post and was equally incoherent.

    @Junebug- Glad you made it back! Please remember that no one person here speaks for all of us. Most of us are more than willing to offer advice and our personal experiences for you to consider for the reality you are dealing with now. The only thing that unites us here on this forum is having once been misled into following a book publishing cult. Other than that, we vary greatly in the decisions we make, the opinions we voice, and the roles we choose to fill after leaving. With that kind of diversity will come some opinions and people that won't be what you need when you need them.

    Please continue to post and ask questions. This forum is here, in part, for that purpose. Most of us are ready to be of any positive help to you in dealing with the real situation you are in right now. A few people feel the need to tell you what you "shoulda dun", but of what use is that?!

  • the-illuminator81

    Hi Junebug,

    When you can't ask questions or talk about your differing opinion with people, it's a cult. Be careful! As you can see they already have control over you!

  • jwfacts

    Good to see you back. There are a lot of people here saying to leave the guy. I have a child and know it is not that easy. I would hate it if my wife took my child away from me. Your fiance is probably a nice guy and you love him. But I definitely recommend you have some very pointed conversations with him before you make any final marriage commitments.

    Make sure you research enough to properly understand it is a damaging religion, so that you are not sucked in by the skilled marketing that is done to new recruits and your child is protected from the constant indoctrination pressures imposed on children.

    Finally, if you choose to marry, set ground rules prior to baptism around your non conversion and what is acceptable to both parties with the rearing of the child, and record them. Otherwise, he will conveniently forget them once you are married and constant family pressure to convert can destroy the marriage.

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