Hey Lazarus, I am DFd.
Only a few times in my life have I experienced a kind of divine moment, one was at my JC...when they sent me out of the room so they could discuss/pray,
I sat in the kitchen and suddenly I was overcome with strong emotions, I wanted out, my biggest fear was that they were just going to reprove me.
I believe that I needed that moment in order to access that feeling, if you know what I mean? That extreme situation forced me to confront my true feelings. Us JW have been taught not to trust or believe our own instincts, because they are flawed, imperfect. So we don't. I didn't want to be in TT for many years, but I stayed, why? I still can't really explain it.
20 years later I still struggle with simply doing what I want, I am trying, but it's tough.
Do what you want & what will make you happy now, if staying in the org will make you most happy, great! If you are not sure, can you take some time out? A retreat of sorts?
Good luck to you whatever you decide!