Why I didn’t left JW an don’t plan to do so

by Lazarus 81 Replies latest jw experiences

  • lilypadaz

    This position is only viable if you don't have a clear-cut position for or against the WTS teachings. Do independent research, open your mind, analyze, think...When one decides that WT teachings are nothing but LIES, PROPAGANDA, MISINFORMATION meant to promote profit making motives...ruthlessly masquerading as coming from God, to control people's minds...staying becomes pure TORTURE!!! Then one starts to hate everything associated with it. Couldn't even stand the people and what they represent! I love my husband deeply and my fondest wish is, there will come a time (very soon) when he sees for himself what is right in front of his eyes.... ;(

  • Billen76
  • AllTimeJeff

    There is no perfect way to leave. Once you learn JW's teach lies, the only reason to stay is for friends and family, but at what cost to yourself?

    If you have negotiated that deal to stay, then that's fine. When I first left, I didn't understand faders, but I have a better handle on that now. There are days I wish I would have pretended so I could keep my friends. It's not an easy choice to make.

    Having said that, I blew up the bridge back, because I knew that I would be tempted to go back, even to pretend so that I wouldn't be alone. I made myself choose to be alone rather then live in a way I didn't agree with. Pro's and con's to both.

  • Billen76
  • Billen76
  • Billen76
  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Other than avoiding the shunning, are there any pros to being a JW?

    Do those pros outweigh the value of truth and freedom?

    I understand staying in for family. I was lucky. I only had to suffer a year or less being mentally out while still physically in, then my wife and daughter were able to break free and we left together. (technically, my wife's last meeting was actually a couple months before mine - I tried to slow-fade a little more) I don't know how long I could have done it, though, if she hadn't come around so fast. Thank Joe Hoover and his GB for Family Worship Night!

    I'm curious, though, about the details of your statement and decision, Lazarus. You said: " Can't see what good it would do for me. It hasn't done much good for many on this board either."

    What are the negatives of leaving that you see, (besides family shunning) both for yourself, and for "many on this board?"

  • Billen76

    Just remember: By being part of the JW, you have part in the shared responsebility.

    By silently being there, you would be part of the percieved group-pressure in the congregation.

    You would have to support and defend the DF-policy, the blood-policy, the Harmageddon-expectation aso.

    You would be part of a closed community, that teaches the youngsters to make false excuses for not taking responsebility for their lifes and take part in society.

    By staying one have part in the responsebility...but one cannot change a damn thing about the WTS-policy. One can stay silent and by that give ones silent consent.

    Most JW's lie to themselves and to their surroundings in order to be able to live with it. I couldn't keep lying.

  • ABibleStudent

    Lazarus - When I would decide to disassociate from JWs, the consequences would be quite clear. I would lose my relationship with family and friends. Maybe even contact. The price to pay would be not only high for me, my beloved family and friends would suffer due to my decision too. Some of them more then they could bear.

    Further consequences could be necessity to relocate, depression, counseling and more.

    When I look at what I would gain leaving JWs, it appears to me not a quarter as good than the losses I would suffer. Therefore I will do what is best for me, namely stay a JW.

    . . . .

    Consider careful which decision will be the best for you. Make a list with all pro and cons. Weight every entry. Put them in the pair of balances. Examine which side outweighs the other. Do what is best for you.

    P.S.: Hate to write in English language.

    Hi Lazarus, you stated what your cons were for leaving the WTBTS, but you did not state what your pros were for leaving. What do you feel would be pros for leaving the WTBTS? How has the WTBTS' doctrine changes affected your life (i.e., "1914 the generature that will not pass" to "Overlapping Generations" How far away from retirement are you? Will you have sufficient assets to live a comfortable life in retirement? If you spent less time serving the WTBTS would you have more time to study to get a better job, and make more money? Do you need a more reliable car? Would you like to take a nice relaxing vacation? Do you like to travel? Do you like to feely discuss your opinions with others in person, instead of through the JWN?

    From your post it seems that you have doubts about WTBTS' doctrines and that you are staying in the WTBTS because of how other people would treat you. If you disagree with WTBTS' doctrines, how can you demonstrate your displeasure (i.e., stop donating, not doing field service, not reading WTBTS literature during Bible Studies, reading the Bible without reading WTBTS literature, etc.) with the WTBTS. If you always live your life for others and ignor your feelings, the consequence is that eventually you will regret living.

    P.s. - If you hate writing in English, have you asked Simon to start a new forum for your native language or have you used the free translation services on http://www.freetranslation.com/ to reduce your frustrations? Just because you don't like something does not mean that you do not have the power to change your situation.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • exwhyzee

    I really can understand someone staying associated so as to remain in contact with ones network of friends and family members. It's a heavy price one pays for leaving. I can't however imagine what kind of mindset I'd have to develop to bring myself to the point of going from door to door honestly recommending this way of life to anyone else. Or even being able to comment honestly at the meetings. If you weren't actively involved in the congregations activities, you'd have to endure the constant "encouragement" to make comments at the meetings and join the strong ones in the field service. You'd either have to join in or be treated as a weak one, or as suspect even. I know several Witnesses who are in it because they don't have anywhere else to go. I know one long time regular pioneer who has chosen to ignore the "Generation" teaching and continues full time to draw people to an organization whos teachings she doesn't completly understand anymore. There are many who are going through the motions and it doesn't really matter what is taught from the platform. This is their way of life...a content little routine where they have pat answers provided for them on any topic and they'd cling to that at any expense rather than go it on their own.

    I'd say you are in good company if you continue to stick with it because of the ill concequnces you'd suffer by leaving. If you can find a way to make it work for you and you can work out the internal struggle that will surely result....go for it, but you'll have to leave off visiting this site for sure.

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