Why I didn’t left JW an don’t plan to do so

by Lazarus 81 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sapphy

    I understand. It's easier to stay in if you still believe most of the doctrine, just thinking maybe that you believe in Christianity & although the society has got a lot wrong they've got a lot right too?

    If that's the case & that is what you believe, then it is tolerable to stay in.
    I was in that position for a while, but I carried on reading & studying, and eventually the whole edifice came crashing down and I lost my faith. Every meeting now is a test of endurance & I won't be going much longer!

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    In your case I think it is right that you didn't left.

  • wobble

    I faded, it worked for me. I wanted to keep the lines of communication open with my JW family, that has happened so far.

    There is no way I could remain associated with the WT/JW's .

    My conscience, Bible trained, would not let me.

    I really do not understand people who, through fear, deny themselves, who they are, and what they stand for, for the sake of contact with mind-controlled cult members who happen to be family, but they care more about the cult than you.

    O.K , you can say I have been lucky, my family treat me as though i am an unbelieving relative, which, by Christ, I am.

    They do not shun me, they just never mention religion, which suits me.

    The point is, if they decided they could have nothing further to do with me, there is no way I could go back, it would be to lose any integrity and self-repect I had to go back to that lying deception that is the WT/JW's.

    Get a backbone and leave.

  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard

    Lazarus, an interesting post. I can understand why you come to that conclusion.

    The problem is that the WT and its adherents, are manipulators.

    Stay with us or else...etc

    That is wicked. But many who come here dont know how to deal with that.

    Would it be the right thing for a wife to stay with a manipulating husband, because if she left him, he would try and make her life worse? or would it be better for her to leave, and then try and get her life back together?

    Many who come here, are trying to get their life back together, and then they move on.

    Hospitals are full of sick people. This forum "is full of sick" people. They are here for help. They will move on.They will cope. They'll probably not post here anymore. You will never know that they have won out.

    Staying in a manipulating, abusive situation, just to keep the peace is NEVER a good thing.

  • Lazarus

    Haven't much time to answer...

    Thank you very much for your opinions. I respect all of them (ok, most of them. Jay, take your paranoia pills).

    I don't do any voluntary work, no door to door, no commenting in meetings, nada. Went to college, live my life as I want. If I'm viewed als "spiritually weak", so what?

    What would you do in my situation, if you knew that leaving would slowly kill one of your most beloved people?

  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard
    What would you do in my situation, if you knew that leaving would slowly kill one of your most beloved people?

    Only you are in a position to answer that question Lazarus.

    No one here has the right to criticise your decision.

  • Rocky_Girl

    When I look around this forum I also see many people who are suffering because they left the JWs. However, I do NOT believe that they would suffer less if they had not left. The difference is that the pain of leaving will fade with time, while the pain of staying will never die.

    We all made the decision to leave (either by choosing to walk away or by not jumping through the hoops to be reinstated after being thrown out) We knew, to some degree, how bad it could be to lose family and friends.

    Just because we CHOSE to leave, knowing the consequences, doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt. This is a place where we can find comfort while dealing with those consequences.

    Maybe you aren't ready to leave yet; that is fine. But, I would say that most people who post on this forum have generally made the decision to leave; they are simply waiting for the correct time.

    Just my 2 cents.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    What would I do if my leaving the religion would kill a loved one?

    I'd get that loved one some help, and fast.

    That person is mentally ill...or, s/he is a manipulator who tells you s/he will die if you leave.

    No s/he won't!

    It's a guilt/fear/manipulation tactic.

    No one has died yet because someone they loved left the JW's.

    Sounds like an abusive relationship there.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    When I would decide to disassociate from JWs, the consequences would be quite clear. I would lose my relationship with family and friends. Maybe even contact. The price to pay would be not only high for me, my beloved family and friends would suffer due to my decision too. Some of them more then they could bear.

    It sounds, to me, like you are in a fairly reasonable position.

    "Spiritually weak", is good as long as you can keep up that facade. It's DF or DA that gets cult members going stupid.

    You do not need to officially leave, or DA. It isn't God's organisation so you can't leave God's organisation. You were never in it. It doesn't exist. It is imaginary.

    As for your friends and relatives being hurt if you did DA, you would not be the cause of the hurt. The Watchtower is. If the WT didn't have them firmly, and illegitimately under mind control, they would not get hurt. Don't accept the blame for the bad behaviour of the WT and it's members. It is not your fault. Especially if you are a born-in.

    Us born-ins did not ask to be indoctrinated into a cult. We knew nothing of killer gods and demons. We were just innocent children. Our parents need to answer for the consequences of that choice, not us.

  • Violia

    I know 2 elders who live in org like this. One stays b/c jws saved his life from poverty and has high profile friends but he'll df someone who did not believe the doctrine of jws, even though he no longer believes it himself.

    Next elder also does not believe it is "truth" but he and family fit socially and he is fine and will make sure his kids do not get hurt. If he ever feels like they are getting hurt he'll leave- how not sure probably fade. He has many friends and all the other jws love him and his family and he just sees this as a social organization.

    I know you said you were viewed as spiritually weak. Usually they mark such persons and don't invite them to gatherings. Are all your friends on the outside?

    if the org only knew how many stay in just for social reasons and lead double lives.

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