IM SOOO ANGRY!!!!!!!

by bez 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • bez
    bez

    I have not posted for a while and have actually not been on for a while but i have had to post cus i am just LIVID!!!

    Me and my husband and 2 children stopped going nearly a year ago after numerous issues, and basic doubts. While we were in the cong i had an 'incident' with a brother who claimed to love me and wanted to leave his wife for me. I really did not know how to cope with the flattery! I had just had a baby and enjoyed the compliments but knew i loved my husband and would not leave him. The so called BROTHER said to me one day we had to make a choice as otherwise we would end up sleeping together. I said NO! I would not do that to my husband and would always end a marriage before cheating. Basically he went home told his wife he was leaving her and waiting for me to leave my husband. This was all just after having a couple of weeks of chatting together over the internet and a few phone calls. I was basically wanting a shoulder to cry on over my silly marital issues and he confided in me about his wifes infidelity that happened not long into their marriage. THATS IT! Tho wrong i know that, that is all it was. He made it bad by making the biggest deal out of something that could have just disappeared. Still i am greatful cus events from that time have led us to leave the joke that is the JEHOVAHS WITNESSES! He stayed with his wife and moved on and out of town. After the heartache that their whole family and close 'friends' gave me and my family for actually nothing was immence.

    Obviously my poor husband had alot to cope with too. The wife of said 'brother' was disgraceful to my husband calling him gay and a walkover and everything. She was known to be a gossip and a trouble causer, and tried to make alot more of a situation than it deserved. But one for a good gossip and a good drama , im sure she actually enjoyed every minite. She would spread lies about me. And even spread lies about my husband... even going to the extent of telling folk he was actually gay!

    I am in no way excusing my discussions with her husband but her actions after were absolutly terrible. I really did not know what had happened, and since being in the big bad 'world' i have realised that actually we suffered unneccissarily. We had countless 'elders' visits to point out wrongdoing. THe final straw was an elders visit to slap my hand for going out one night into the local town and bumping into said husbands wife's brother and telling him exactly what i thought of his sister (probably wrong in hinesight, but after the crap that she put me and my family through it was hard to keep my mouth shut). That is when me and my husband decided to walk away. Rather than coming to encourage, they had come to lecture at how wrong it was to first be out in the town late on a night and second speak of a 'sister' this way to her brother. HA!

    The reason now i am so angry..tho said discussions took place between me and said brother TWO years ago, is because my name is tarnished in the witness community! WHY? i love my husband, i love my kids. A friend of mine who was a witness has too left in the last couple of months and her mother text me to say she hoped i was satisfied now i had taken her daughter from the 'truth'. She believed that i had talked negatively of it which had led her out (which is untrue. she had doubts like me for years, but i left first). She said she now felt sorry for the family that were left in the truth (despite im actually sure being the devils children) because they are the family that are left in the 'truth' and we have walked away. She said she worried i would try to take my friends husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE SHE!!!!!!!!! And all this she discussed with her daughter... who i may add was disfellowshipped for having sex with a few boys before she was married, but is not a fine upstanding pioneer.

    Maybe too much information.. but i have had ONE man in my entire life... MY HUSBAND! I never wanted anyone else and was mearly flatterd by the attention after having marital difficulties myself and also dealing with doubts about something i had been part of my whole life.

    After not replying to my friends text initially she kept forcing me to talk to her. She even text my mum and said something along the lines of the fact that she must be blind if she can not see that i am basically the devil in disguise! She kept texting me to say that she wanted me to defend myself for takin her daughter from 'jehovah' and that i was obviously guilty and knew i was cus i would not reply to her texts. I did eventually snap and go round to her house to defend myself which is when she said all of this horrible stuff about what type of a person and woman i was and what i was capable of with regards to her daughters husband.

    After stewing about the whole situation i text my friends mother last night to say how i was disgusted of the things she had said and that as one of jehovahs witenesses you are taught not to judge and yet she had outrightly judged me on how she percieved me. It was a very long text about how disgusted both me and my husband were, and how disgusted we were that she brought up OUR marital issue from 2 years ago that was nothing to do with her. I have not had ONE text back. No apology, NO nothing!!!!!!!!! so after all the horrible texts she had sent to me and the decency i had to sit with her and discuss her issues in her house, she has not replied to mine!!! IM SO FUMING!!!!! Basically it boils down to the fact that they are all so stuck up their self righteous arses, that they cannot actually see that anyone else may be right and they are wrong. WHAT happened to HUMILITY?!!!!!!

    Sorry for the long rant, and i only hope it makes sense. I just felt i had to get all of this off my chest.

    I never thought i would actually say i really disliked the witnesses. but the longer both me and my husband are away from it the easier it is to see how corrupt it all is and the easier it is to say I REALLY DISLIKE the stupid organisation.... despite the pair of us being brought up in the mess! And now i see my poor friend dealing with all the pain from making her own choice in life. Her mother crying every day and telling her she is going to die along with her children at armageddon. I believe she obviously genuinly believes all that shit but how terrible is it for an organisation of imperfect men, and one full more so than ever of corrupt people to make people feel this way, and whats more, feel they have the right to condemn people to death along with their kids!!!!!!!!

    I hate the self-righteous 'we are right and you are wrong an we will therefore ignore you now but speak with you on our own terms' attitudes!!!! ARHHHHH!!! must calm down... anyone know of any medication you can take to give you that 'i dont give a shit how you feel about me' feeling!???!!!

    Sorry to harp on ... BEZ x

  • sinis
    sinis

    Why do care what the Dubs think if you no longer go? I gave up giving two shits about them years ago.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    It's ok to vent here, but sinis asks a good question, not to answer to us, but to contemplate for yourself.

    Why does this still bother you? What further changes can you make to ensure the JWs no longer maintain such an influence on you and your feelings?

    It takes more than just time to get over being a JW. It takes conscious planning and effort to move on. It doesn't just happen on its own.

    Good luck, Bez. You'll be ok when you don't let them have power over your emotions anymore.

  • bez
    bez

    thats the problem... i dont know why i care :( i dont want to care!!!!!!

  • Magwitch
    Magwitch

    So sorry you are going through this Bez! They are just small people with small minds.

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Change your phone number asap Bez.x

    Remember how they treated you before you left? Sod that, if you loved these people youd have every right to be worried, but you dont care about them and they dont care about you, try to move on. Let the gossipers gossip and the slanderous slander you, concentrate on your lovely family, make new friends, and let it go........x

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    The witnesses are just a group of deluded suckers who feel more important than they are ever going to be.

    What they think of you is irrelavent.

    Move on, look after your kids and enjoy the rest of your life.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Don't talk to these people again. Act like you don't know them and move on. You can't control what people choose to believe and what they think of you. You know the truth.

  • FirstLastName
    FirstLastName

    A helpful suggestion - instead of changing your number - just contact your cell phone company and have their number blocked so you will not see anything from them anymore - instant relief.

    Sorry for your frustrations.

  • trevor
    trevor

    bez You are in a difficult situation that I can empathise with.

    You are still living your life through other people. Once you live through yourself you will find peace.

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