Elder wants to do "other activities" with me

by InterestedOne 59 Replies latest jw friends

  • Doubting Bro
    Doubting Bro

    InterestedOne - Thanks for the background. Seriously, you should drop the romance before you get to invested. She will always chose the cult over you and you won't wake her up. Sorry to be so blunt but it is what it is. If you get involved deeper, it will just bring you heartache.

    Take it from a born in ex-elder, I've seen too many people torned to shreds by the religion. Run while you still can.

  • satinka
    satinka

    <---s-h-i-v-e-r-s RUN!!!

    satinka

  • Retrovirus
    Retrovirus

    I'm watching this with great interest, as it's a bit like my situation.

    The jw ladies who visit me for a "bible discussion" used to open with a prayer, but now sometimes forget to do it. They also come around every few weeks; no longer each weekend.

    Also they pressured me hard to attend meetings, especially when the CO was there, but I didn't go. Mainly i'm a bit afraid because I'm a softie. I want to keep the dialogue going but could do without the pressure to be "helped".

    Retro

  • sherah
    sherah

    BP beat me to it!

    The social structure of JW prohibits unmarried men and women from being friendly and/or dating unless they are planning to get married. Women studying with men is frowned upon, she probably got a good talking to by her elders. Passing you off on another congregation was done intentionally to keep you to apart. These brothers are sizing you up to see if you really want to become a JW or they are trying to see if you are trying to get with your friend.

    Personally, I think it's a bad idea to study for woman. Especially if you don't know if she feels the same for you.

    I like BP's advice but do so discreetly. Check your pm's.

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    Oh you're all being so silly!

    He's just looking for a buddy to talk to and confess his problem with masturbation like my study conductor did to me. :0 I'm not lying.

  • garyneal
    garyneal
    These brothers are sizing you up to see if you really want to become a JW or they are trying to see if you are trying to get with your friend.

    I had this experience with a so called 'annointed' brother at my MIL's Kingdom Hall when my wife and I were dating. He invited me in to read the Bible and he showed me how the KJV used LORD where God's name belonged.

    He later told my mil that he thought I was only interested in the girl I was dating. YEPPERS!

  • InterestedOne
    InterestedOne
    Run!

    I wish it were that simple. We have a lot in common as far as secular/artistic life goes. I work freelance and help her out with her small business. For the most part, we stick to practical matters, especially because she has done her "duty" and turned me over. I feel a sense of obligation to follow through with the "Bible Teach" book. I want her to see that I didn't just dismiss it without giving it a fair hearing. I want to be able to say that I have learned what she believes and don't accept it - maybe even give a couple of clear reasons why. If I walk out if it midway, she can just say, "well, you didn't stick around long enough to get the whole picture."

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    " I want her to see that I didn't just dismiss it without giving it a fair hearing."

    Another good way to learn about it quickly, is to spend some time on this site. However, it might be better that she doesn't know about it. She would see this site as a pit of vipers being run by her arch enemey, satan, or something like that. We are supposed to be the worst sort of liars. As you may have noticed, we merely look at the religion w a simple eye, giving a more complete picture than most current jws have. They tend to forget old teachings of the wt, preferring to remember only the latest 'truths'.

    S

  • InterestedOne
    InterestedOne

    @Satanus - I ran into the "apostate" problem early on. She said, "I know you read a lot of apostate sites. Are you just interested in verifying their claims or learning what the Bible teaches?" Notice the dichotomy in her mind. It's diabolical programming this cult has done. She also refers to former-JW writing as "apostate propaganda." I didn't have the heart to say "how ironic! You want to talk about propaganda?" Instead, I've been trying to be gentle about it. I don't get much of a chance though b/c of this stupid separating us into a different congs - that was a powerful move by the elders.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    You're adults aren't you? Why does attending separate congregations seperate you? Can't you see her during the week?

    I'd suggest that you try to be in regular contact with her to talk. You can keep it light or you can touch on what you're learning both via the study and what you read here.

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