Elder wants to do "other activities" with me

by InterestedOne 59 Replies latest jw friends

  • heathen

    I think you'll find out for sure when he takes you in the back room and reveals some KY jelly . LOL

  • InterestedOne

    @Juan Viejo2 - I don't fall into the "vulnerable" categories - I'm an average 37-year-old male.

    @Alwayshere - I'm only going through this "Bible study" because I have a friend who is a JW, and I'm trying to understand her perspective. She has an obvious cult-induced wall put up, and I'm just trying to see what the heck is going on here. He didn't specify what he meant by "other activities," but it seems like he wants to get to know me better.

    He's actually one of the nicer people in the cong. The fact that he is nice and I could actually see myself becoming friends with him drives home the nastiness of shunning. That's one reason I mentioned the social element of this cult. I was wondering if there are any common ways that he might be trying to manipulate me socially. One possibility I was thinking of might be "good cop bad cop." He is the good cop, and the PO could be the bad cop. I don't know, I'm just throwing ideas out there and curious what others have experienced.

    The checking for fitness to be an unbaptized publisher motive makes sense. Maybe he wants to get into my personal life to see if I follow their rules - which I don't. I can also see what dysfunction & Mad Sweeney are saying. It started with the "free" "no-obligation" "just an overview" "Bible study." Then it turned into "if you want to better understand, you should attend meetings." So here I am attending meetings. I could totally see the next step being invited to little "gatherings." I'm curious to see if that happens.

  • GrandmaJones

    Oh, it's gonna happen.

  • sherah

    The WTBS is on a campaign to recruit males, they are in desperate need of ms's and elders. Maybe this elder sees you as potential.

    Are you romantically interested in the female friend?

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Sometimes there will be questions based on your 'Bible' study that you wouldn't know to ask.

    If you tell us what is coming up, we might be able to help.

  • blondie

    *** w06 3/15 p. 23 par. 9 “Each One Will Carry His Own Load” ***What about having close association with those who may be morally clean but who lack faith in the true God? The Scriptures tell us: “The whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one.” (1 John 5:19) We come to discern that bad associations are not limited to permissive or morally debased people. Hence, we are wise to cultivate close friendships only with those who love Jehovah.

  • Juan Viejo2
    Juan Viejo2

    I repeat what I said earlier: Be careful - very careful.

    It's easy to think that JWs are all really nice people, godly, and loving. Nice? Maybe some are. Godly? I know a few that are sincere. Loving? Very, very few that I would put in this category.

    If you are just going along to see where it takes you, great. Share your experiences with the rest of us. If you need some coaching, there are dozens of forum members who can provide you with the background information that you'll need.

    The Watchtower and Awake! mags love to print article (some obviously bogus) about people who were determined to not get involved and only went along with the person they studied with so as not to hurt their feelings. But "Jehovah came into their hearts and opened their minds..." and the next thing they were full-time pioneers in Belize.

    Just keep your guard up...

  • InterestedOne

    Sherah wrote:

    Are you romantically interested in the female friend?

    Yes. We knew each other casually because we have some common interests and mutual acquaintances. She would mention spiritual matters, and I was willing to listen. She always kept a wall up, but we would have long phone conversations about the Bible, etc. I was just happy thinking we might be getting to know each other better. Unfortunately, I was in for a rude awakening. She invited me to the "memorial" and a few CO special talks at her cong. After one of the special talks, her PO came up to me & started asking questions. He asked who I was "studying" with. When I gestured to my friend, he turned to her and said, "you have to turn him over." It felt like he had punched me in the gut. Since then I have been "turned over" to some guy in another cong who just blows their doctrine at me. I'm going along with it to get a sense of what my friend is wrapped up in, but it sucks because it's all one step removed from the person I simply wanted to get to know better. I truly did want to get to know her hoping for a genuine friendship - romance or not because I admire her as a person. I have enough self control to be fine with no romance if she wasn't interested. But now I have no way of knowing how she feels about anything because any "deep" discussions have been offloaded to some guy.

    @Black Sheep & Juan Viejo2 - I would sincerely appreciate some help as I go through this "Bible study" and my interactions with the JW's. I will post updates.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    So do you still have phone conversations with her? If not, why not call her to discuss what's going on in your study?

    From her perspective, she may have been told to keep her distance, to see if you are becoming a witness so you can be with her, or because you love "Jehovah". That would explain the lack of communication from her.

  • Gerard

    She is in a cult and her duty is to pull you in.


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