Misery, I probably read the same info for years but this time it hit me. I would have to look to find it but you know we get our WT's months in advance and I would always study them in advance as soon as we get them to see when Armaggedon would be announced...I know stupid right? But this one talked about God's righteousness and that in addition to ALL the other stuff we have to do to be clean in God's eyes we also NOW have to ONLY focus on his righteousness. It's like I am a pioneer, I am in charge of the sound and in good standing but that is NOT enough...I NOW have to be really concerned about this. The article suggested that a person could be doing everything but if he failed in this one area he wouldn't make it. Then Thanksgiving rolled around. My wife and I were talking about the turkey, stuffing etc. that we haven't had in forever. 16 years. Then I thought about my worldly family and how I never called them or paid attention to them because to call them on Thanksgiving or Christmas "supported" their worldly ideas. I said screw it. Call them. Best call to them in a long time. Then I thought that I was trying to be obediant to God by cutting off my family. It bothered me. I started thinking about all the things I cut off from me that I missed. I got depressed and angry.
It got to be a combination of little things....This one pioneer brother. GREAT brother. SO loyal etc. A great representation of what a lover of God is. He can't go to Bethal because he played a violent videogame. God I thought...That is so frickin strict! That one bothered me to no end.