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Never Wake Up
by brotherdan 97 Replies latest jw friends
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cbew
Hi Brotherdan,
Sorry to hear about your situation. Been thru it myself and have been out 10 yrs now. Here is a suggestion that may help you whenever your wife uses "How does Jehovah feel or think about this or that". First of all acknowlege that she brings up a good point and then calmly turn the tables on her by saying yes "How do you think Jehovah feels about an individual or organization that attaches His name to false predictions?" Then take out one of the older Awakes to show her how they said "...God's promise of a new world before the generation of 1914 passes away". Make sure it is right from the actual Awake or bound volume to show that so called "apostates" did not alter it. Any Awake prior to 1995 will contain that statement on the first page. I guarantee you she will either be stunned or flustered as to what to say. This may even help her to begin to start critically thinking again. Then if she is open to more discussion show her newer Awakes that edit out the "generation" statements. This one thing was the start of my exodus from the organization it may well be your wifes catalyst to begin investigating. Once they begin to question and investigate on their own it doesn't take too long for them to exit but the key is they have to be willing to do it on their own. You can't force them to no matter how logical your arguments are. You must be patient bro. but little bit here and there may start the process. By turning the tables on her I guarantee you she will not be using their favourite weapon of " What does Jehovah think..."
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tec
Just be Christ-like, BD. The mercy, the forgiveness, the love and patience. What more can you do? Your wife will see it and respond now or later, (and your children also) or she won't... but you will have done what you can do - which is to imitate Him to the best of your ability. Find peace within yourself and within your faith, and that peace and light will show in what you do.
I'm sorry its so hard for you right now. I hope and pray that you will be given the strength and patience and love you need to see you through this.
Tammy
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brotherdan
GLTirebiter - Shoot! I wish I would've sent one like that. Your suggestion was a tad too late. But she knows that I'm firm in what I believe and that I have NO bad intentions.
Seriously, we would any of us CHOOSE to go through something this crappy without having a VERY good reason for it? Just because we are upset about how we were treated? Well I, for my part, was not mistreated in any huge way by anyone. I wasn't "stumbled" and then decided to throw everything away. I was a JW because I belived it to be true. It was my parents faith. I knew NOTHING else.
Wow...just had an early memory that I didn't even know was there... When I was a very young kid (maybe 6 or 7), I went to a wedding with my parents to a wedding that was held in a church. I remember my parents warning me about the evil crosses I would see and that I shouldn't listen too closely because we were going to the house of Babylon the Great. But when I was there, I actually liked it. There were some catchy songs (VERY unlike the kingdom songs) and the preacher gave an awesome wedding talk on true love and what it means. He didn't get all preachy. He used a few scriptures, but kept it upbeat and practical. I remember when the wedding was over I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. It seemed like a normal place and I liked it. I told my mom about this afterward and I remember her saying, "This is exactly what Satan would like you to think."
Anyway, had to share.
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brotherdan
Also, Tammy, thanks for your words. I'm really trying to find out how Christ would handle it. I just bought a book called "Apprenticeship with Jesus: Learning to Live Like the Master." So far it seems really good. It's a 30 day apprenticeship kind of thing. The 1st day is realizing that salvation isn't a THING. It's a way to live.
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Ding
Please let us know how your wife reacts.
I am praying for you and your family.
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brotherdan
She wrote me again this morning telling me that she doesn't feel good about our convo the other night... I don't want to push her away, but I CAN'T back down now. I've finally got the guts to stop the meetings. Any ideas?!?
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yknot
Don't view it as 'backing down'......
But be willing to 'compromise'
Maybe one meeting a month with child only going twice a month....
Agree to more if she agrees to review the WTS history and your findings...
COMPROMISE, GIVE A LITTLE GET A LITTLE IN RETURN!
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brotherdan
Hmmm...I was hoping for a clean break. But it'd be nice to get my kids out from going too... I don't know how to broach the "If you learn more about the WTS history" without turning her off though...
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undercover
I don't want to push her away, but I CAN'T back down now.
You're not backing down from what you're thinking or believe is not pushing her away. Her not accepting what you have to say is her pushing you away. At this point in time, she is choosing the bOrg over you.
Here's an idea... compromise to some extent for the time being. Agree to go to some meetings, when you don't have anything planned especially. And be prepared like you've never been prepared for a meeting before so that afterwards you can point out the inconsistencies, the flip flops, the illogical fallacies. Don't beat her over the head with it, but don't be afraid to share what you experienced or thought.
In time, if you have no success in helping her open her eyes, she'll quit bitching about your not going to the meetings. It'll actually be easier for her if you don't go.
You also have to face the possibility that you'll never free her from the control of the WTS. And you need to be prepared for what you will or won't do if an ultimatum is presented. I hope you can reach her...and it can be done. Some have done it. Others haven't. You have to have more than one strategy in place.