Never Wake Up (page 4)

brotherdan

Here's an email my wife sent me after telling her that I respect her and her choices, but I can't feel like a hypocrite and go to the KH.

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you dont respect me. you think I am "mind controlled"really? I have never done one thing in my life EVER that was not 100% my choice.and I thought you knew that. my other best friends have told me that they wish they could be like me and think for myself.

You said, "How can you say that you have to do it all on your own and that my "work is done"? You know that I only want to do what is best for my family"

Every sunday you have a migraine, or the flu, or whatever.you are not 12.be a man.say your not gonna go and you are gonna send me and my children on my own.while you sit home and sleep.fine, but I can do it. I can be as strong as i can possibly be. i'll do it all on my own. "OUR SON" keeps asking me "why does daddy not go to the meetings like us, doesnt he make jehovah sad?" im gonna stop making up excuses for you and tell him the truth. sad, I have to tell him at 5.

but im not gonna come home exhausted and sit and spend time with you anymore. i want my own time. so i take kids days, then you take them nights.you can pump whatever you want into "OUR SON", he can make his own choice. it will be interesting to see what choices he makes.stay home with daddy while he sleeps and watches cartoons with me, or go to the kingdom hall with mommy and "OUR OTHER SON". and worship jehovah with his loving brothers and sisters.those horrid mind controlled liars.

sabastious

and worship jehovah with his loving brothers and sisters.those horrid mind controlled liars.

The rank and file are not the liars. A lot of them are good kind hearted people.

They being lied TO, not lying to others.

It's not a lie if you don't know it's a lie, so if you pass it on you passing on misinformation not lying.

As people have said before, your wife is not going to understand the truth about the truth quickly or easily. You just gotta keep at it and set a good example.

Show her that you can be a great person without the WT and that will gain respect.

-Sab

undercover

Wow, BD... I feel for ya, man. I can relate to some of what you're experiencing...I've been there.

Not that it does you any good, but you're seeing first hand the evidences that this is a cult. Your wife's willingness to let your kids be molested for the organization is very sad but proof positive that her normally intelligent and analytical mind is under outside control.

I wish I could give you some timely advice, but no matter what I or anyone else suggests, every person's situation is just different enough and each person thinks differently that no one can predict the reaction or outcome.

She is right about one thing in her last email... be a man and stand up and say what you are or are not going to do. You've done that to some degree, that's why the arguments persist... but you've got to carry through now. You've gone this far, you can not retreat.

Good luck, keep us posted on how it's going and we'll support however we can, even if it's just to say, "We understand..."

brotherdan

I will not retreat this time. I've told her that I'm not going anymore. It was my plan to tell her that last night, but it turned into a huge fiasco. She actually thinks that the elder book online has been photoshoped by the apostates! She also thinks that any scanned letter that I give her could have been altered too. How do you reason with a person like that? I told her that there was enough rope for the WT to hang themselves! The "apostates" don't even need to waste their time trying to create something bad about the WT. They do it to themselves.

I just hate that my kids are stuck in the middle. She tells them that it makes Jehovah happy when we go to the meetings and it makes him sad when we don't. What do I say to my kids about that? She's already made me out to look like a bad guy to them.

I really have no idea how to respond to this email. Do you guys have any suggestions?

Libelle

BD, I"m so sorry. That frustration you wrote about at the beginning of your post, I've felt that, many a time.

brotherdan

That's a good point Sab. What else would you say in response to this email?

truthseekeriam

BD,

So sorry for your frustration

Your wife just doesn't want to know the truth about something she trusts with her life. Just do what you have to do for You and your sanity. Hopefully she'll come around, but it will have to be something she is ready to do.

leavingwt

When my younger brother was still in, I told him this, and it was true:

"Until you examine the information that I've researched, my decisions/attitude will remain INCOMPREHENSIBLE to you."

cognizant dissident

I wouldn't reply to the email. Anything you write in an email can be taken to the elders and is all the proof they need to df you.

Your wife's email shows she is not in listening mode with you right now. So stop talking. Nothing good can come of it. Focus on doing the best thing for your children. Her email, also basically says she is ready and willing to engage in a war with you for the children. This is not good for them.

Tell your children what you believe, calmly and gently, whenever they ask you or whenever the occasion arises. You don't have to badmouth your wife, or the JW's to your kids. You can just say to them, "that's what mommy believes, but I don't believe that." Tell them most of the people in the world don't believe in Jehovah. Plant little seeds of doubts in their minds that cause them to think and question everything. Explain to them how everyone in the world believes different things and that's OK. Keep at their intellectual and emotional level. Do not drag them into the war between your wife and you.

Children are pretty smart and if given enough information, and both sides of the story, they will be able to see what's what. They will be attracted to the parent who stays calm, reasonable, and doesn't scare them or make them feel sad. They will be attracted to the parent who makes them feel good. It may take a while to undo the previous damage, but be patient, it can be done. Many men lose this war because they give up entirely and give their kids over to their wives and their organization.

Libelle

CD, good advice, very good.

Never Wake Up

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