Never Wake Up (page 3)

Bonnie_Clyde

Your experience with your wife could be me. Clyde saw the truth about the "truth" a long time before I did, and I now I really don't want to remember the heartache and pain. But it caused a big rift. I remember one statement he made when I mentioned the "faithful slave." He reminded me that Matt. 24:47 didn't guarantee that the slave would be faithful. He read the rest of the scripture, "If ever that evil salve should say in his heart, 'My master is delaying,' and should start to beat his fellow slaves and drink with the confirmed drunkards, the master of that slave will come on a day that he does not expect and in an hour that he does not know, and will punish him with the greatest severity and will assign him his part with the hypocrites."

That scripture did bother me for quite some time, but it took something else to really shake me.....the way the congregation treated my elderly parents.

All I can say is, thank God you have JWN. Clyde didn't have that as a support. You have some great friends here and you are getting some great advice. I just hope you can stick it out. I'm glad Clyde did, but I'm so sorry for all the frustration and unhappiness he went through. We have a much better relationship now, and we try not to look back at how much better it could have been.

Bonnie

Soldier77

NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!

Welcome back BroDan, hang in there, vent, get that negative crap out of your system, refocus and jump back in the melee!

carla

I've been where you are many times through the years, I feel for you. After awhile I refused to be baited into the jw fights (after he was not allowed to discuss jw things with me for a short while per elders orders but that's another story) I would come right out and say 'I see you are in full cult mode I won't even try to discuss it with you now'. Did it make him angry? sometimes but I he already knew I thought it a cult anyway. But he was in full cult mode! I could see by his eyes and facial mannerisms he was. There is no point in trying to discuss anything at that moment they simply cannot hear you. You don't need to use the 'cult' word with her in fact I highly reccommend you don't, find another word that fits.

May sound weird but have you thought of emailing each other instead of verbal communication? That way the jw discussions can stay online and try not to let them spill over into family life. Make boundries ahead of time like no cut and pasting from the wt's, bible only or whatnot. She will eventually cut and paste anyway and then..... and then you can pull out all the crazy quotes (or flip flops) that they have not had new light on and so the old light stands. Should you agree to email each other it will give you both time to research and think before you speak, err type that is. Stay loving and polite and ask question after question, try planting seeds.

You are not a bad husband or father, just the opposite! You see a potentially dangerous thing and want to protect your family from it. Isn't that what dads and husbands do? protect the family? As for the kids, use your male status and if necessary tell her you want the kids to explore the religions of the world. Don't jw's tell all people not to ask former members or believe what they read about them but to go to their meeting to see what jw's are really all about? Why would it not be the same for Lutheran, Catholic, Hindu, whatever? why should you believe what the wt says about them?! She may be so worried about you bringing them to a church she will give up attempting to bring them to a kh. Isn't it selfish of her to expect everyone in the family to go to only her spiritual needs? the jw's give her what SHE needs not what everybody else needs. Just because they think they are the 'truth' doesn't make it so. Then find the biblica quotes about making sure, Jesus is the truth, etc...

Come and vent often and ask for help when needed it is a tremendous help to maintain your sanity so she doesn't have you thinking YOU are the one with the problem.

mamalove

I am so sorry you had such a big blow-out. That really puts a damper on things, and no one likes the tension and bad feelings. But being married, I am sure you are used to those from time to time. I think most people do get in big fights even once in a while.

Depending who has a certain temperment, it is expected for someone to fly off the handle. What I do not understand is that your wife is pretty liberal from what you have said. So now is she recoiling back to super duper holiness? When I quit the KH, my H at the time went all holy on me.

I think from the comments you made, you love your wife a great deal, she might be angry now, but she will come to her senses and not want to lose her family. My H even said at one point that even if I am an unbeliever he still wanted to be married...but then he changed his mind. What is she going to do? Divorce you, and then be single the rest of her life? If she is a JW she can't have sex outside of marriage. That is just silly for her to do that, especially if you guys do have a good relationship worth saving.

Do you guys ever get a break from the kids? I am guessing you took them with you to Maui. Traveling with little ones can be really difficult and stressful. I do agree that you need to appeal to the stuff that chicks like. Be a great hubbster to her, and she will listen and respect you more. Us gals, and maybe guys too, find it easier to throw in the towel when we have no respect for the other person. Hang in there!!

Nice_Dream

Sorry to hear about all the drama when you returned home. Hope things are better for you today. Hang in there brotherdan!

sabastious

The jouney outside the Org is never an easy one.

I just can't help but bring out the old cliche: What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

It's a good mantra for this time in your life. Keep fighting for what's right!

I'm sorry to hear things went south.

-Sab

notverylikely

(980) 522-8043

Dan, call me bro. I just went through this. I can't tell you what to do, but I can understand where you're coming from. Seriously.

Mad Sweeney

Done?

Bro, you're just getting started.

It may take years and decades to get loved ones out of the Borg. Do they mean enough to you to hang tough for the long haul or not? Releasing the Bonds explains how it takes a lot of patience, a plan, and TIME to help free loved ones. Stick with it. You're doing all right. Just stop arguing with her about it. It is the one thing that has been proven to NEVER WORK.

darth frosty

Here's a convo I ve been kicking around in my head that I know I will eventually have to face up to.

You as a man have to make a stand for what you know to be right and best for you. You may feel that this will hurt your wife and are considerate of her feeling's, but you have to put that aside. And you know what...after all is said and done she will respect you more if you stand up and be true to yourself.

Cant remember the poster's name who always tell's you to man up and leave but he is right. Choice is your's as andy dufrain says ' Get busy living or get busy dieing.'

ANd I mean that as an inspirational phrase not to put other bad thoughts in.

Lozhasleft

Its all been said ...I particularly like Watersprout's tips....even though I've nothing extra to add, I do send you a bunch of hugs for support so you know people care and understand....

Loz x

Never Wake Up

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