The pain got too much so I wrote to my daughter....

by Lozhasleft 46 Replies latest jw friends

  • wantstoleave
    wantstoleave

    Big hugs to all of you going through turmoil! 17 is a difficult age and girls are notorious for holding grudges...lol. She probably feels lost at what to do because her other siblings have already turned against you, so feels she has no choice. No matter what, you'll always be her mum! I don't doubt she loves you very much but is confused and not knowing exactly who to turn to. Writing the letter was a good thing. Just give her time, I'm sure she won't cut you off completely, at least I hope not

  • cloudy2010
    cloudy2010

    Grasp any possible opportunity to communicate with her. Do not put on your thinking directly on her. Sooner or later, she will come back. Best wishes for u .

  • tec
    tec

    I never did say, but of course you did the right thing by writing to her. Just because she can't 'hear' you at this time, doesn't mean you can't keep showing her that you're here for her. That you love her. She's going to need it, I think.

    Tammy

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    You definitely did the right thing by contacting her. It shows you care and that you are there for her if she ever has a change of heart. Just you just need to have a thick skin and not take it personally if she does not contact you, or comes back with a hurtful message.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    So sorry to hear this. My jw mom has shunned me for 22 years...even when she was sick in the hospital. You can keep trying, but sometimes you have to accept the fact that they don't want to hear from you. My mom was particularly hostile the last time I called her, and it was only the fifth or sixth time in all those years that I'd made attempts to talk to her about health or death in the family related issues.

  • Crisis of Conscience
    Crisis of Conscience

    I find it sad that despite everything a parent does for a child, it can mean nothing when confronted with a final verdict from the society.

    You provide physically, emotionally, financially, perhaps even spiritually, for many years, maybe even into adulthood - self-sacrificingly. But once the elders render that judgement, the child owes you - NOTHING. How absurd!!

    And to justify it as God's law? Only a lunatic could accept such nonsense.

    LOZ, I wish you the best. I know there is no way I can understand completely the pain you feel as a mother. Especially having carried a living being for 9 months and giving birth to it and seeing it grow and mature.

    I don't know you personally, yet I feel emotional for you. This is a prime example of why the society has it so !@#$*# up.

    You're in my thoughts.

    CoC

  • Hadit
    Hadit

    Oh Loz! I'm so very sorry for all the pain. You absolutely did the right thing by contacting her. She needs to know you love her unconditionally. One day she is bound to see it. Hopefully, the rest of the kids too. Hugs to you.

    My heart goes out to all of you on this thread going through such pain. My thoughts are with you all.

    This thread is truly heartbreaking. This organization is beyond evil. It's terrifying what they have done to families.

    This is just so sad. I can't stop the tears.

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    You are all so very kind. Thank God I found this site when I did. At times like this there is noone else in the world who can understand the way you all do. x

    Loz x

  • Chalam
    Chalam

    I dont know if I've done the right thing.

    Of course you have! I am sure the message was filled with love :)

    Love wins the day, nothing else.

    1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (English Standard Version)

    4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

    8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

    Blessings,

    Stephen

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Well it looks like I got my answer - she has performed an action that says it all. To explain - she is on facebook with quite a few of my husbands family and posts now and again, although only one teenager from the family really communicates with her, so I sent her this message last night after seeing a post that she obviously knew I would view.

    I see your name on a facebook post and my heart aches inside me. Everyday I miss you more than you could ever imagine. I worry about you constantly, that you're safe, that you're happy,or that you're sad or hurting or that you have peace inside you. Not a week passes that I dont dream of you and wake up distressed.

    I have a good life ********, I'm happy. *** is a wonderful husband to me, better than I could ever have wished for and he shares his family with me and I love them dearly. I cant complain because I am loved and cherished and respected by all those around me. Its been worth all the years of waiting for.

    There is much I regret, not least that we went through so much pain together and that I struggled so much to cope with all that happened to us and you had to suffer for that, because you were there with me. It happened, we lived it, sadly. There is much I could wish had happened differently and wish that people had behaved differently...but its pointless really.

    I've stopped hoping that you will want to be in touch, knowing how much we loved each other and what it meant to us. Hoping became too painful. I have only this one life and after so many years of sorrow I have to make the most of what I have left to live.

    I still however have my relationship with God and I believe still that love is the most important thing in this world. This message is simply to let you know that I still love you, always will.
    Mum xxx

    By this morning it appears she has changed her privacy settings so that I cant see her posts or even her existence.

    I'm gutted. I obviously didnt reach her heart.

    Loz x

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit