Please understand that right now they will show you love even if limited for now. They will make you think that this is the way it will always be. Do not be mislead, after you are reinstated ynu will be placed back on that treadmill of nothing is ever enough, with the "carrot" of eternal life dangled before you. They haven't changed, I am not trying to change you mind I just want you to realize what your in for. Please keep us informed, because if they really are changing that could be a good thing and we would like to know. I wish you all the best in your journey.
Alot has Changed and I'm going BACK
by Butterflyleia85 73 Replies latest jw friends
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Heaven
(((( Butterfly! ))))
I remember you. I enjoy reading what you have to say. I hope that you can take it ... the going back that is. I understand about family. It won't be easy. I think the real truth will gnaw at you. I hope you can establish some boundaries with all of this -- try to protect your heart and your marriage.
Are you planning on doing the door-to-door work? This was something I couldn't do, personally, especially since it was touted as being my way to eternal life without any Biblical backing and the fact that I had issues with this organization way back when I was a teen. It has never sat well with me to push any belief system on others. If you are going to do this, perhaps you can print up some inserts to anti-witness -- say a small page with a couple of website links to Freeminds, JWN, and Paul's site JWFacts as examples. You could use the service time to warn others and do some good. Just a suggestion.
I hope you won't be gone from here permanently. You know YKnot is 'in', as are others, and are here on JWN too.
Take care of yourself and your hubby. Be good to yourself.
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isaacaustin
butterfly...sent you a reply
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carla
You married this man when he thought you were done with the cult? and now you are joining back up again?! How could you do this to a man you claim to love? what happened to clinging to your spouse and forsaking all others?
I know the life of a ubm and all I can say to you is -shame on you to do this to your husband, you worry about your own life and the loss of the conditional love of your so called family, what about his life? his future married to a jw? as usual the jw mindset thinks only of oneself not the marriage as a whole. Don't you think you are being selfish not thinking of your husband and his life?
If you only miss reading the bible and singing you can do that in any church with your new husband without dragging him into a damn cult. You could read the bible at home, join a choir, singing group, whatever, the k-hell is not the only place to do those things.
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Mary
My husband thinks I'm crazy for going back but he understands why. He said "I just don't want to loss you to a cult", I told him I done anough research that I know now what is important and it won't be able to take my heart from doing what is right.
Butterfly, I truly hope you reconsider. There's a poster on here called Doubtfully Yours. She managed to escape this cult, but decided to go to the meetings as her husband is still a JW. Not only has she gone back, she has become fully re-indoctrinated all over again and she comes on this board with the most ridiculous posts now (usually defended their blood doctrine) and goes on and on about how great the Organization is. It's truly pathetic that someone who managed to free themselves of that drivel can allow themselves to go back and get brainwashed all over again.
I can tell you right now that this will affect your marriage, and not in a good way. Assuming that your goal is to get reinstated, you are going to be spending hours and hours with Witnesses at the meetings, assemblies and out in field serve-us. Your 'worldly' husband is going to come second and it will put a huge strain on your relationship. He did not sign up for getting married to someone who belongs to a cult which demands an enormous amount of your time----time you should be spending with your new husband and don't be surprised if one day he packs his bags and leaves. If you feel the need to be part of a Christian fellowship, why don't you try going to another church?
There have been a few other posters who have 'returned to the vomit' for their families and as someone else mentioned above, you will either become brainwashed into it again, or it will suck the soul out of you and you'll eventually leave again. Are you really ready to risk your marriage to have approval from a cult and your family who will only associate with you if you're in? This religion destroyed my grandparents' marriage when my grandmother started going in the 1930s. Grandpa had no interest in it and it caused major problems. The only reason they didn't divorce is because back then, you just didn't do that. But they led completely seperate lives.
Enjoying the songs at the Hall is a piss-poor reason to return. You can read the bible on your own too, so I truly hope you re-think your decision.
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Butterflyleia85
Carvin yes I understand, and thank you. I was DFed once before and went back in. I know the feeling of being welcomed then treated as like I am still Dfed or something. I kinda was thinking to that hopefully this hall will be different sence it's not the hall I was brought up in and had friends sence I was five that knows all my business. But anyways I have Eric now and his family so it wont bother me either way I know now I will always have family.
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Butterflyleia85
Well Mary I plan on fading once I'm in I'm in and wont 'sin' (to my knowledge anyway). If I seem like an apostate at least I will be DFed with a little mor dignity because I stood up for what I beleive.
I have the books and you guys that will be my reminder. Captives of a Concept is sitting right beside me... Same with the words from Steven Hassen and Ray F.
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Mary
Glad to hear you're planning on doing The Fade. However, even that comes with a big risk. Gumby went back about 3 1/2 years ago for his family. They all knew he was an 'apostate' when they helped him sneak back in and they said they were perfectly fine with him doing The Fade down the road. Last year his self-righteous assinine son in law told him point blank that they had never had any intention of just letting him do The Fade and that if he wasn't a Witness, they had nothing in common and didn't want to associate with him.
Hopefully, your situation will be better but don't be surprised if it doesn't quite work out the way you want.
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TheListener
Good luck butterflyleia85. I wish you all the best, and remember, you are always welcome here.
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notverylikely
Well Mary I plan on fading once I'm in I'm in and wont 'sin' (to my knowledge anyway). If I seem like an apostate at least I will be DFed with a little mor dignity because I stood up for what I beleive.
So you're going back so you can leave? I am not sure what kind of sense that makes...