Where now?

by bez 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • bez

    Its been a long time coming but i kinda think im finally at the point of NO return......

    Right or wrong, i have spoken to my 'friends' about my new feelings and the fact i no longer believe that this is Gods chosen people etc etc... and have already been told that if i was to now celebrate my childs birthdays , her 'truth' friends would not be able to come to sleep again and associate with her... (she is 7). This is despite the fact they are allowed to play with there non witness friends who live down the road....WHY?? The explanation is that their daughter would perhaps feel it is ok to do this when it is not... i ask why could they not just simply explain it is not our family's belief anymore (as my husband is with me on my decision), and my response is that it would be difficult to do that as we once were witnesses and now are not so it would confuse her daughter and make her think its ok to do these things now...

    Im left feeling confused, alone, scared and wondering if i am a bad person? Am i doing the right thing??

    What do i tell my daughter now when she asks why her friend cannot come to stay?

    Where do i go from here? My mother-in-law left the witnesses after bringing all her children up in it only to regret bringing them up in that way of life now. She is a good person, a genuinly lovely person, she is not disfellowshipped or disassociated... but some do choose to ignore her. How is that right? Is that what God truly expects from 'his people' ... shun and distance yourself from anyone who no longer follows this practice??

    Im just confused, and a little scared of the unknown...where do i go from here... i dont wanna be a morman!

  • wannabefree

    If you haven't read In Search of Christian Freedom by Ray Franz, please do. It will help you through such questions.

    My opinion, at seven years of age, your daughter will make new friends and make the transition quickly. I am in a similar situation but my girls are older. I think at the age your daughter is now, it will be much easier for life to become normal quickly.

  • wasblind

    welcome Bez,

  • OnTheWayOut

    I have to say I wouldn't bother to try to win over JW parents with logic and well-thought out answers or emotional pleas.
    Your daughter will find new friends at school. You will probably have to explain some to her about why the JW's kids won't play with her anymore.
    By less than a year, she will have virtually forgotten all of them and will definitely be better equipped to move on than most adults.

  • JWoods

    Welcome. Maybe you can have the girl's birthday without including the JW friends for now.

    That leaves some time to smooth out the details of getting away from them.

  • nelly136

    were you a baptised jw or a bible study? just wondering why youre surprised at the jw reaction.

    nice to meet you btw

  • tec

    I would not go any'where' if I were you. I would just take time to think and to research without any group influencing what you believe. The urge to join something is great, I know... so you can find the 'truth' again. (or for the first time) I have found that Christ is the truth. Period. Not any organization. I actually did a couple of sessions with mormons after I stopped studying with JW's. The whole time, my head was screaming -what are you doing??????? Don't jump in with them now, have you learned nothing!!!!!

    I stopped talking to them very quickly. I could not trust them or any other group - not even myself for a long time. I DID put myself into God's hands, and trusted Him to guide me where I needed to be - no matter how long that took. And that removed the 'urgency' in my search, leaving me safe from joining any other group. Leaving ME safe and calm to think and reflect.

    This is just my experience though. You'll make your own. As for your daughter, she WILL recover with new friends if the parents of her old friends are refusing to let their children play with yours. Because of her age, I think she'll move on quite quickly.


  • tec

    Oh, and welcome.

  • keyser soze
    keyser soze
    By less than a year, she will have virtually forgotten all of them and will definitely be better equipped to move on than most adults.

    A point worth repeating. Don't underestimate how readily children that age are able to adapt.

    And welcome to the forum!

  • Lozhasleft

    Bez- Welcome, this is a good place to be and there are lovely ppl on here to support you so dont panic. Tammy speaks a lot of sense...dont be trying to find any 'where' right now...just be happy while you find yourself. That will take a little time. How brave and wise you appear to be already. Dont worry about your daughter, you are giving her the greatest gift of freedom in life ...away from a controlling cult with cruel ways that divide and destroy families. I speak from painful experience I wish I'd acted when my kids were small...now they're lost to me....

    Take your time, dont be scared sweetheart, look forward to some 'normal' living....

    Loz x

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