by bez 61 Replies latest jw friends
Bez - nice to hear from you.
You say '...we once were witnesses and now are not..' Perhaps it would help to realise, looking back, that you were once part of a club that you have left. You were then and remain much more than a witness.
There are other clubs to join or you can just concentrate on being yourself - and that is the easiest thing in the world.
Dear Bez:
Welcome to the Board. Regardless of what your feelings might be from minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day, week to week, month to month, they are all valid. Recognize them for what they are. You don't necessarily have to act on them though. Sometimes inaction is the best action--sometimes. You will find many intelligent things spoken here on this Board. You'll also find things not-so-intelligent. You must decide what you will accept and what you should reject. But know this . . . no doubt, as a witness . . . you have heard the question asked: "Where shall we go?" The brothers quoting that biblical text right and left and every which way. But take note, Bez, the true biblical questions was: "Whom shall we go away to?" Not "where." The "whom" IS Christ and His Father Jah. Pray to the Father, speak with the Christ.
All the best!
--Inkie
...wow what can i say.. i did not expect this much response.. but thankyou. It sure helps just to know i am not the only one in this position. I have felt so alone for 2 - 3 years in my thinking but felt like i havent been able to join anything like this in fear of being found out! Now i feel stronger to cope with the consequenses and have been open with people on how i am feeling (tho it has not necessarily been taken very well by my conditional friends), i feel i can post on here and it is nice to hear how others have coped in the months and years after leaving....especially as i have felt so doomed... All i want really is the best possible life for my 2 beautiful daughters and my husband. I just want to feel happy.
I have made 'worldly' friends already and infact it is refreshing to spend time with non judgemental people!
Inkie, you sound , like everyone who has posted on this topic, like a very wise person, thankyou for your advice.
Bez, thank you for the compliment. You are kind.
Making a "worldly" friend was one of the best things I ever did for myself. Just be careful with that word. All it really means in a witness context is someone who is NOT a witness--it doesn't mean they are really worldly, if you get my drift. You will know the kind of people to choose to have and keep around you for the happiness of your family. Trust in Jah and His Christ and when you do, you can't go wrong. How many times have we (on the inside of our being) known what is right but did the wrong because of what "others" told us and, of course, we complied (knowing on the inside) that what we complied with was not right. You know what is right and what is wrong and if ever in doubt, just ask the Christ. He will tell you. You don't need anyone else. All the best.
--Inkie
Bez,
Welcome to the board! One of the most refreshing change of perspective I had was that it is okay to not have all the answers. You no doubt spent most of your life claiming to have answers to everything only to realize you were wrong. It's time to look at every decsion as an opportunity. Don't worry about your daughters adjusting. It may be a few painful moments explaining the shunning (no need to use that term) but she will thank you just as you are thankful for those that supported your escape from this cult.
All the Best,
Tread
Thankyou Inkie!!
My witness conditional friend asked me today if i really felt as tho i was being listened to by Jehovah...when i said, yes, infact more so, she shook her head!!!!!
Truth is tho, i feel closer to God and Christ than ever before :-)
Thanks again
Welcome Bez,
We went through a similar thing after our child was molested by a fellow JW and we stopped attending meetings. It was really hard at first trying to explain to the kids why they were not being invited over to their friends homes anymore or why their friends stopped coming over our house. After all it's not the fault of their friends.. it's the control of an ORG on their parents. If you don't go to meeting, no matter why..you are not considered good association and therefore your unworthy in their eyes!
It took awhile for us to start over again but what helped us was putting the kids in sports, music.. really anything that allowed them to meet new kids. Eventually they started making new friends and even started attending birthday parties. They love their lives now and they hardly mention their old friends.
We are getting back to being Happy and you will too...
Just give it some time.
Bez, there is probably more truth in your last statement than you realize. It's wonderful to acknowledge your closeness with Jah and Christ. It will make your heart truly rejoice. You stated that your husband feels much the same as you. No doubt you've shared your feelings and thoughts with him. Continue to do so as he is your first friend when it comes to "making" friends. When you pray to Jah, through His Christ, ask Him to reveal the Truth to you. Not the truth (of things/stuff)--but to know the Truth (Christ). "I am the Way the Truth and the Life," Christ said. Believe it, believe him. You'll be just fine. All the best.
--Inkie
THank you truthseekeriam. Another in my position , i am sure in time my kids will adapt, my youngest is only 2 so she will probably know no different.
Inkie, i prayed months back about the scripture "you will know the truth and the truth will set you free"... i prayed specifically that God would show me through this verse where the truth was?! i kinda forgot about it but for weeks was looking on church buildings and boards and listening out for it at meetings.
We had a 'shepherding visit' from 2 elders some weeks later (this prayer was pretty much out of my head). One of the Elders was sat quiet as i expressed my doubts... He then asked me to read a scripture... Guess which scripture it was.. you guessed it "you will know the truth and the truth will set you free"... i suddenly twigged and thought...THIS IS IT, is this Jehovah answering me???????
Since i was still not fully conviced i spoke to my dad (after blabbing about it to my witness friends..who have used it to bite me in the backside with my decision on leaving). My dad is a disfellowshipped person tho he was not actually fellowshipping for years, he chose to go and confess his sins for whatever reason....anyway, i told him about this scripture that had been brought up that had mad me requestion mydoubts.. he said its the verse they would use all the time when someon is doubting...
I prayed about other things and nothing really got answered in detail like that.. i have told my 'friends' this, but they say i am putting Jehovah to the test and we should not do this... So i say, why does it say to keep questioning whether we are in the faith then... surely that would be asking God for direction in where we are goin which would include being specific. . . They said no , Jehovah will be waiting for me to make the steps now.... going to the meetings, n on the ministry etc....
I continue to pray for some direction tho and hope he still listens ....
Dearest Bez... may you have peace!
In response to the elder having you read John 8:32 you asked "THIS IS IT, is this [Jehovah] answering me?"
I say to you, dear one, had you just read a few more verses down... at John 8:36... where the "elders" NEVER take you... you would have received your answer. May you do so now, and so KNOW that the Most Holy One of Israel, JAH of Armies, IS listening and has heard you... as well as hear, yourself... when the Spirit and the Bride say to YOU:
"Come! Take 'life's water'... the holy spirit of God, which 'water' is poured out from the innermost parts of His Son and Christ, the Holy One of Israel, who is currently known to you as "Jesus Christ"... who is the TRUTH... free!"
Your servant and a slave of Christ,
SA
