These are the details of my disfellowshipping. The names and locations have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty. My errors are not hidden in an attempt to make me look better, this simply is a presentation of the facts that led up to the disfellowshipping and a re-telling of the contents of the meeting.
For reasons not disclosed, I was 100% guilty of adultery. There are no excuses, but there are reasons that are directly tied to the Watchtower. I am not innocent in this matter by any means.
After months and months of expressing doubts and issues relating to the WT to my wife, she eventually discovers both my tobacco use and has reason to suspect the adultery. I eventually admitted it to her. She decided on a divorce and went to the elders with this info and I eventually agreed to meet with them even though my initial thought was to send in a DA letter.
My first meeting with the elders was the standard investigation meeting with two brothers. At the beginning of that first meeting, I decided to lay all the cards out on the table and began the meeting with expressing my utmost respect for them personally and regarding them as friends and then admitted to everything, the adultery, the tobacco use, the disbelief. Surprisingly, during the first meeting, they all but ignored the tobacco use and adultery and chose instead to focus on the reasons I did not believe in the organization anymore.
During that meeting, we covered the failed prophecies, the 607 issue, the generation change making up a whole new definition of the word "generation", the lack of honesty in the new creation vs. evolution material, the blood issue, the constant refrain that no one knows why the Roman army left, the vaccine issues, the lack of humility, changing verses in the Bible, the UN NGO issue, etc. I was prepared with quite a bit of info.
Some key points during that meeting were that the brothers were not in sync on what current WT beliefs were. Neither of them were as up to date as I was, neither of them knew about the 1995 WT idea that the generation meant "wicked people", one of them suggested that simply publishing a change in doctrine was showing humility (related to the vaccine issue from the 50's and 60's). Regarding how the WT changes the meaning of scripture by inserting words, I used 2 Corinthians 2:12 and referred to my research on what third heaven was and how if you accept what it meant to the Jews, that perfectly harmonized with what Jesus said o the thief. You should note I am a total atheist at this point, but still, it was useful when talking to them.
As I pulled out Watchtower after Watchtower from the bound volumes in the library, they kept changing the subject when presented with conflicting WT info. When they started down the new light path, I used math as an example, saying that learning more advanced math like calculus doesn't mean you suddenly start doing algebra wrong, it's new info that is based off of and required the old. It's more info, not a light going off and on like a strobe light. At one point when talking about 607 and how history and archeology and the WT literature does not support that date, one brother said "That information comes from Satan's agents in science" and another said "I guarantee you not a single person in this congregation knows how those dates are put together. The dates don't mean anything, just be sure to stick with the organization." At one point, I had them agreeing that Jesus was my direct mediator to Jehovah and then say in the next sentence that the org was the only way I could get to Jehovah since Jesus just for the annointed. We also discussed how the WT parses the scripture in Revelation about the 144000 with part of it literal and part symbolic within the same scripture. The same refrain became common, "No one understands that, believe in Jesus, Jehovah and no matter what, do NOT leave the organization."
A key point here to understand is that, after showing how the WT had changed several scriptures to fit their theology and how their teaching directly contradicted the Bible (I was looking up scriptures and showing them and asking questions), they eventually slid all of the Bibles away and literally said that we didn't need to look up any more scriptures. Basically, they forbid me from using the Bible.
The same tired old refrains and comments came out…"Where else would you go?", "No one else preaches like we do", "You just think too much", "This is nitpicking". When I talked about the out of context quotes and errors in the new brochures about creation, they literally said "Not one in 10,000 brothers would even know how to research this info. You are too smart for the organization." I think they meant I was too smart for my own good, but they were more right this way.
At one point, a brother pulled out some old C. T. Russell quotes and then I did the same. After a few back and forth quotes from Russell, I said "Look, we can trade Russell quotes all night, but the point is, he took his material from others, added his own twist and was 100% wrong and the Society is lying about their past when they say he predicted WW1." He said it was just nitpicking to get specific and I said that Jesus was VERY specific when he predicted what would happen to Jerusalem and if Russell was wrong on all counts then a simple, humble "I was wrong" would be the most Christ-like road to take, but that never happened.
To be honest, after a while, I felt bad because it was clear that they had no response to anything I said and were just grasping at straws. They repeatedly said that dates and changed belief meant nothing since no one really understood it, just do NOT quit the WT.
So, after that, they said the next meeting would be three brothers and went so far as to ask me which brother I would like it to be. I went with their recommendation since I knew I was getting DF'ed. The second meeting started with a recap of the last one, with me laying it all out on the table. The elders then said that they were specifically NOT going to discuss any doctrinal WT issues and would only be focusing on the adultery and tobacco use. We discussed the reasons for the adultery, I made sure not to put any blame on the ex, I took all of that, showed respect for them as brothers and the job they had to do. We differed on some opinions, they did mention that the reason for my lack of belief was directly tied to my actions because the light of Jehovah had left me and with it my understanding of Bible truth. I told them that since I had told everyone everything that I had never felt better or slept as well.
They also repeatedly said that just because my marriage was over that did not mean that my relationship with the Jehovah (and the org by extension) was. They did suggest that if I decided to come back that another congregation might be better since it would be awkward with my ex there. I was then dismissed, called back, informed that they decided to DF me. They read several scriptures, there were hugs, some tears (I've known all of these men for years and they ARE sincere and kind in their own way) and then I was sent on my way with no closing prayer.
This is the short version, if there are questions about any of this, I can dive into more detail about any particular part.
