Studying my faith away

by the-illuminator81 45 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Pistoff
    I am planning on putting together the most unsettling doubts in a big letter, like Noah's Ark, inconsistencies in the gospels and unfulfilled prophecies and sending that to my dad. If he has half a brain left he will at least reply that some things are not clear yet.

    This will feel good, but will not sway any elder and will guarantee your df'ing.

    Just CHILL. Keep your doubts to yourself, post here, read read read.

    Don't talk about your doubts to elders and expect them to understand. They won't. To them you are a threat, and have been reached by Satan.

  • Quillsky

    I forgot to say, welcome, illuminator! I love the sound of a fresh open mind.

    The topic of fading versus DA'ing or being DF'ed has been discussed endlessly on this forum. I just want to take this opportunity to say that if you have THE CHOICE (and some people don't have an option, you're fortunate in that you do) fading has the best long-term advantages.......

    ...... unless you want to DA for personal reasons (read: your ego, or making a statement).

    Fade brother! What's the worst the elders and Brooklyn New York can then do to you? Yes, disfellowship you or disassociate you.

    Good luck with the rest of your life on this earth.

  • Lozhasleft

    Welcome to the forum - its a good place. Advice - well for the sake of your feelings, wife and family - fade if you can.

    Loz x

  • Coffee House Girl
    Coffee House Girl

    Welcome- I identify with your dilema, I am one year into my fade and I refuse to write a DA letter (even though the elders insisted that I do). You will experience some fallout at first when you stop going to must form a simple to recite "broken record" response to all questions posed by elders and family..."I have made my decision, I am leaving" was my broken record response, they eventually got the hint that I wasn't talking about it because I did not want to leave myself in a position where I would be DF'd. Things will cool off a bit after they forget about you... until CO visits come around.

    Best of luck to you!


  • Morbidzbaby

    Welcome! I myself am doing a fade...for now. I've been very DA. Simply because I can't stand the BS, the hounding, the chasing, the questions. But I just can't do that to my parents right now. So for now, I don't go. I don't do anything "spiritual", I don't go to JW gatherings (I'm always either working or "have plans"). I avoid the org like the plague that it is.

    You will find lots of support here. Lots of people going through or who have gone through very similar things as you are. You will find a listening ear and hearts filled with REAL love for their neighbors, not people who are only here for you when you're doing what they think is "right". You won't find anyone who will only speak at length with you based on your meeting attendance or your hours in Field Circus. You will find acceptance here.

  • cantleave

    Welcome - my advice is to fade as fast as you can.

  • ziddina

    Welcome!! And congratulations on your fine efforts at studying all things thoroughly!!

    Your two old friends - who "DA'd" - will probably be very happy to see you, once they understand the realizations you've had and the reasons you are contacting them...

    All the best!! Zid

  • Hadit

    Welcome! So glad you did your studying. Truth sure has a way of coming out doesn't it? Only you know all your circumstance so you have to do what is right for you. As mentioned above - please plan a bit first though so that you have an action plan of some sort. Once you come out it is hard to back track. As for telling your father - I did the same and he outed me in a heartbeat as did a friend. It was really hard to back track at that point. I am trying to fade but it is hard with a believing spouse. That is a whole other world of problems. The WTS is out to destroy families in order to keep as many people in as possible. They are ruthless and unloving - EVIL.

    You've come to a great place for support and ideas. I wish you and your family all the best!

  • steve2

    Welcome to the board illuminator81. What an intriguing name! Sounds like you've thoroughly done your homeowork. Tell us a little about JWs in Belgium and north west Europe in general. I get the impression from Watchtower end of year reports that the growth rates have slowed right down. is that right?

  • jam

    With so many fading why not stay in and try to do as much damage as you can before you are DF and

    can,t take it anymore. I do not know how true this is, but my son-in-law told me a few years back,

    there is A group of Brothers that are trying to change some of the teaching of the WT. One was the

    shaunning of ex-members, thats hard to believe because this is the only means they have to control

    the RF. IF i HAD KNOWN WHAT i KNOW NOW I would have taken A different route. I would have taken

    more time to get my family out. When I got out years ago information was not available as it is today.

    Take your time, think of your wife, for many of us it ending in divorce. If your wife at this time have to

    choose between you and Jehovah and the org. which would she choose.

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