Studying my faith away

by the-illuminator81 45 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  the-illuminator81

  Hi Everybody!

  I want to introduce myself. I'm a 28 year old active, married JW from Belgium. In the preceding months (I'd say starting from about March) I've been slowly losing my faith. This was caused by my intensified study activities, especially during the new family study evening.

  A lot of the doubts I had stored away for later research were not answered by my research, and instead I uncovered more error in WTS doctrine and the bible itself too. Finally the weight of evidence broke the dam of my belief and faith flushed out of me like a giant flood. After reading Crisis of Conscience, Combatting Cult and Mind Control and visiting excellent sites such as the Skeptics' Annotated Bible, JWFacts.com, FreeMinds.org, Talk Origins FAQ and WatchtowerLetters.com, there is no going back for me now.

  Next up is breaking the news to the congregation, my family and my friends. My wife already knows I am in doubt, but convinced me to stay for a bit longer to do more research and discuss it with my dad or with the elders. I am still very afraid to confront my dad, I don't want to hurt him by telling I want to quit, but like a band-aid that must be ripped off I know this will be in store for me in the near future.

  My goal is to be out in time to celebrate my birthday, and that would make it happen before the end of the year. Do I want to DA or fade? I haven't made my mind up yet.
• 

  Aussie Oz

  all the best...

  you know what is coming dont you?

  I find it sickening that the religion i once veiwed as truth can consume and destroy perfectly good marriages and families in the name of 'love'.

  (vomit all over the place)...

  oz
• 

  cyberjesus

  welcome, take it easy. Remember they are under mind control and they wont reason nor understand you. you have to have a plan, a strategy to your exit otherwise you will alienate yourself. do you want your wife to go out with you? then you need to work on it first.

  When I woke up I rushed and talk to my relatives. I thought they would listen but they didnt. they got scared.
• 

  the-illuminator81

  Aussie Oz: What's coming?

  Cyberjesus: Wow, what a cool name.

  I know of the mind control and how it affects them, because I have been in the same situation where some of my friends stopped. They told me they stopped because they did research and found too much of the doctrine being wrong. My mind threw that explanation out and replaced it with other reasons. They were stumbled by imperfect elders, they were lazy and looking for an excuse to leave. It is only now that I am able recall what my friends really told me.

  I am planning on putting together the most unsettling doubts in a big letter, like Noah's Ark, inconsistencies in the gospels and unfulfilled prophecies and sending that to my dad. If he has half a brain left he will at least reply that some things are not clear yet.

  My wife doesn't study a lot so she won't be swayed by well-researched arguments. I don't know how to approach her yet. Maybe when she sees how quickly I will be shunned by our 'friends' once I go public it will open her eyes.
• 

  undercover

  I've been slowly losing my faith. This was caused by my intensified study activities, especially during the new family study evening.

  A lot of the doubts I had stored away for later research were not answered by my research, and instead I uncovered more error in WTS doctrine and the bible itself too. Finally the weight of evidence broke the dam of my belief and faith flushed out of me like a giant flood.

  An interesting side effect of the new "Family Study Night". Many assumed that most dubs would just use that free time to pursue secular interests or just watch TV but here's what happens when someone actually uses that time to study the deeper things.

  I bet the GB didn't see that coming...

  Welcome to the board...
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  Room 215

  The GB's view of "Family Night Study" is limited to poring over WT Society literature and preparing for the upcoming week's meetings, not of any independent research.
• 

  WingCommander

  I agree with UnderCover above ^^^^^^

  JW uses Family Study Night to totally debunk the WT belief system - talk about a classic case of irony!!

  Take that Governing Body Dufoses!!!!

  - Wing Commander
• 

  Quillsky

  Please fade.

  DA'ing is about conforming to the principles of the cult.

  Fade fade fade fade fade fade fade. Your decision should only be whether to fade quickly or to fade slowly.

  Duck under the radar. Don't answer the tricky questions designed to DF you for apostasy. Don't do anything "wrong". Your family is so much more important than this stupid organization.
• 

  sacolton

  Fading brings the hounders and they'll never stop until you confess the Watchtower is not God's organization.

  Glad you have seen the truth about "the truth". Time to make your exit and join humanity.

  Welcome to the board!
• 

  the-illuminator81

  I must say that those two friends who faded were not hounded, or at least I believe they weren't, but I haven't asked them yet. So right now I am leaning towards fading, but on the other hand it would just be cool to DA and give them all a nice big FU.

  What if I would just stop going and refused to speak, meet or phone with the elders? Wouldn't it be that easy?