Studying my faith away

by the-illuminator81 45 Replies latest jw experiences

  • FreeAtLast1914

    Studying the Bible and the history of the WTBS was the best thing that ever happened to my wife and I. We sometimes enjoy a cigar in the back yard, laughing about all the things we used to believe.

    The truth is a wonderful thing!

  • Chalam

    Welcome the-illuminator81!



  • the-illuminator81

    Thanks for your welcome everybody!

    FreeAtLast1914: I hope I can one day have that experience too!

    Jam: She would choose the ORG

    Steve2: There is a constant flux in decline and growth, one year its -1% decline, the next year it is 1% growth. Most newcomers are either born-in or are immigrants. The biggest growth is in foreign language congregations. I believe Belgium and The Netherlands are the most liberal JW countries on Earth. For example, one of the elders in our congregation plays Diablo II and burns a lot of illegal software. Another elder took his children to a movie about vampires. Smurfs were never an issue. Most have seen movies like the Lord of the Rings. R-rated movies are not an issue at all. When you are out in Field Service, everybody respectfully declines to talk to you.

    I hope I can fade without losing my wife and that I can eventually show her the truth about the truth.

  • StAnn

    Illuminator, welcome. Stop and take a deep breath! This will affect you for the rest of your life so think this through. Don Cameron wrote a book called, Captives of a Concept. It shows you how to take a JW through the Proclaimers book and show them that the WTS isn't what it claims to be. You might want to get it and go through it on family study night with your wife. It will be a lot easier for you if the two of you can go through this journey together.

    I was DF'd, reinstated, then faded. Because I eventually became Catholic, I'm completely shunned, which suits me just fine. I think I'm considered DA'd but at least I did on my own terms.

    Being DF'd and losing your wife and your entire family is very hard. Be careful how you proceed.

  • the-illuminator81

    StAnn: Thanks for your advice, I haven't read that book yet so I'll give it a try.

  • clarity

    illuminator hi, such good advice from all on this board. i'm 9mths into a fade myself. At first my feelings were very militant ... actually looked forward to the elders 'inquisition' mtg! Phoned "the Spy Store" for info on concealed recording devices! Oh yeah this was feeling good! Then i calmed down ... and thought about family and what would really be best for us. Slow fade for now.

    Would you plse show info about the Great Pyramid Gizah ie.existing before flood? How very interesting!

    all the best, clarity

  • ptt7000

    Hello illuminati,

    Take it from an old lady. FADE, FADE! YOU SET THE GROUND RULES. THEY GBLIKES TO DO THAT AND HUMILIATE YOU IN THE PROCESS. IF YOU FADE THEY DON'T HAVE A RESPONSE, AND YOU WIN. Think of your family, everyone is at a different place. Remember they are brainwashed and afraid of death. My sons accepted my not attending but said they wish they could have me with them in the new world. They begged me to think about them when I decided to leave. I did. So I faded over a 2 year period. No one has come after me, because in August, 2009 I just never returned for the new service year. They aren't sure if I am gone yet. I talk to ones when I see them. They don't know what to do because I am not DF'd. My 3 sons, their wives and the grandchildren are glad they don't have a DF'd grandmother. Did I mention I have 232 relatives who are still witnesses. Since my fade they are still talking to me and no one talks about my leaving after over 60 years. They know why however. I now belong to the Bible I was raised one until 12 years of age. They are not perfect but not controlling and you have freedom to think and disagree. I wish you the best.

    In Christ

  • Clint Bussey
    Clint Bussey

    Good for you! Thank you for searching to find truth, and 'make sure of all things'. This is the same way that I left. You are trying to pick between fading or DAing yourself. I say that there is another option, one that takes a bit more fortitude, but will help you out more in the end, and may help others out too. I say DO NOT WRITE A FORMAL LETTER OF DISASSOCIATION! Here's why: A. It is an option that the JW organization gave you so that you can easily be shunned and ignored. B. You should let your fellow brothers and sisters know how you feel about things first, not run directly to the elders so that they can kick you out of the congregation. Fading is the cowards way out, and you are just setting yourself up to be silent about what you know to be falsehood until you get the courage to stand up and speak. Come clean! You will be respected in the end for doing that, and the sooner the better. Really I say that it would be good for you to just speak what you have found in your research and not worry about getting DF'ed. If the elders want to talk to you, just tell them what you have found, Ask them questions, perk their interest in these things. Don't cower to them, tell them like a man to their face, showing love of course and empathy, and go about your business. Don't allow them to kick you ou t or disfellowship you for telling the truth and showing love to your brothers and your family. They need to hear the facts and face the real problems with their current dogma and the high minded 'slave' classes hijacking of JW's spirituality. If the elders say that they want to meet with you, just ask them questions you know they can't answer on the spot, and say, if you can't answer my question then there is nothing to "meet" about. Do not recognize their imagined authority. If you can stomach it, keep going to the meetings long enough to speak to the JW's about what you have now found, and STAND YOUR GROUND! Others will follow your strong stand, they will! Believe that. This is no time for people to be cowardly fading or running from the KH with their tails between their legs. If they tell you that you cannot come back to the KH, ignore it and keep coming. Anyway, that is the only way to put an end to the strangle hold that the WT has on memebers of the organization. Right now would be a great time to take such a stand. I think that your family and brothers and sisters would really appreciate your bravery and honesty and may take a stand also.

  • hotchocolate

    Illuminator... what a great post, I love it when witnesses come to a realisation of truth from good, old-fashioned research. That knowledge is empowering, and it will give you a great basis for escaping the mind control. I was in your position a couple of years ago.

    I wish you the best, and I, like others, would also encourage you to fade. I would love it if I could encourage you to stand up and speak out, but sadly I know that being honest and earnest just leads to a mafia-like shutdown. I did have some success in quietly passing on knowledge to those open to it, and if you can then do it. Otherwise your priority is you. Work your arse off at finding good external support so you have somewhere to turn when your supposed friends turn against you.

    Good luck! And good on you for working it out! x

  • the-illuminator81

    Thanks all.. as most of the posts are leaning towards fading I'm beginning to realize the benefits it will bring me.

    A direct confrontation would be fun, and if I was without family or friends in the faith, it wouldn't have any dire consequences either.

    But it would also be very hard for my wife if I got DF'd, she would not be able to have any social interaction with me and her friends / family anymore.

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