I would like to hear your experiences with being SHUNNED

by jwfacts 71 Replies latest jw experiences

  • aquagirl

    Hey,Ill bet you will get a lot of responses.When my dad died last december,The witnesses came to my mums house,a tiny kitchen.I sat at the table weeping,cause I really loved my dad,who was an elder up till a year b4 his death.Not one of the Dubs even said a word to me.the acted like I wasnt even there.They all knew that I drove my parents back and forth every year.and was very close to them.Asshats didnt even say hi.Nothing,nada.Then my own sister told me that it was too bad that I didnt die in my house fire in 2003 cause then at least Id have a chance at the resurrection.Nice folks,eh?Need more?PM me.

  • truthseekeriam

    We have been inactive for over a year now and we get the head down and looks in the other direction when we are out and about. I try not to let them get away with it and make a scene by yelling out their name and making them acknowledge me, but sometimes I just walk away and let it be.

    My husband seems to really get upset about it, especially when he's driving in the drive way and he sees the neighbor(JW) hide behind the tree as to avoid having to say hello?? Strange people indeed.

    Family members have slowed down in their association with us, which I think hurts the most. Calls that use to be almost daily have know turned into text messages twice a week. It's not easy losing so much so quickly but I would do it again to see my children thriving as normal children

  • dgp


  • moshe

    This happened about 21 years ago. I had written my letter to the WT and gave them my reasons why I was annulling my membership- of course they treat you like df'd person, but I didn't see myself in that light. Anyway, a sister was grocery shopping and I was too, except she saw me first and decided to shun me by bending over had hiding her head in the frozen food cooler! I thought it odd to see a lady bent over like that and just stood and watched her get colder and colder, until she finally popped up- "why, hello sister so and so, fancy meeting like this!- let me tell you what i found out about the WT Society" She decided to shun me by leaving her cart of groceries and running out of the store, wow, that really hurt me.

    same store different day- I was in the checkout lane and another JW happened to have the good fortune to be stuck ahead of me in the line- his groceries were next to be checked. Jolly 'ol Moshe starts chit chatting with the brother and I tried to be very nice- just chit chat- he finally told me to leave him alone. Naturally, Moshe could tell from the expressions on the other shopper's faces that they wanted to know what was going on- SO, I Told Everyone all about JW's and their shunning- this is what will happen to anyone who thinks they want to be a JW- don't listen to their lies, etc. Man, did that brother get red in the face, but he took it right up the keester like an obedient JW. I imagine the JWs at that hall had a party when moshe moved away a few months later. I'll see if I can think of some more, reverse shunning stories.

  • etna

    To Boyzone,

    I'm so sorry for what shunning has done to your son. They are B#ST#RDS. I've faded and have been shunned and I didn't realise how much effect it has on you. I don't even want to meet ex-jws, sometimes I just want to stay in a cacoon and not move. Again I feel for you and your family boyzone and hope you find true friends as you and all of us deserve.


  • Jadeen

    I was never baptised but I have been shunned. This story really sticks in my memory.

    I had just gotten engaged to my now-husband (non witness) when we went to a wedding and reception (witness). My family has been friends with both sides of the wedding party for years. They had all met my honey and had no problem with him attending. I was still attending meetings occasionally- maybe two, three times a month.

    Also attending was my best friend since grade school. We had been really close until she picked out the guy that she wanted to marry and decided to chase him. She moved about half an hour away, so we didn't hang out as much as in the past. When I introduced her to my honey, she said, "Oh, how nice to meet you", shook his hand, and then literally turned her back on us to talk to someone else.

    We stood there awkwardly for about a minute, then went back to our table. I told him some lame excuse for her behavior and he shook his head and said, "No, you just got snubbed."

    I sighed and agreed.

    That was over eight years ago. She still lives about half an hour away. I haven't talked to or seen her since.

    It still hurts that this person that was like a sister to me could throw away our friendship like it was nothing- stray tissue paper tossed out the car window. On the other hand, her behavior made me never want to step inside the Hall again. With a friend like that...

  • sabastious

    My cousin had a baby about 6 months ago and I called them to ask to come see my new cousin. He told me that I could come over for 5 minutes but then had to leave. However, my wife could stay after I left since she had not openly told the family that she didn't want to practice as a Witness anymore, even though we both had been inactive for over a year.


  • sweet pea
    sweet pea

    I used to read these threads and weep but 3 years later no more weeping but still a deep sadness as to the pain this cult causes.

    Immediately Paul and I stopped attending meetings, we watched a succession of friends flipping the lightswitch and closing the door. It was shocking and traumatic at the time. Our best friends told us they couldn't have anything to do with us anymore and one very close friend in particular openly shunned me in the park soon after we left, even though we weren't df'd at the time and our children were playing together as normal (no QFR on how to handle that particular circumstance I guess). I had given birth to our second child at home 8 weeks previously and this friend had been there 10mins after the birth, she was that close. To say this cut to the heart is an understatement. This same friend told me that if I was ever to come back she would be the first one waiting at the end of my driveway with open arms (pure emotional blackmail - like that would ever make me want to return?!!!) So many deep, long friendships lost in a heartbeat.

    Paul's family decided to break contact as soon as we started fading too - we were 'bad association' apparently because we no longer idolised the 'Faithful and Discreet Slave (Class)'. Paul's mum has since been in contact, albeit minimally but no word from our children's uncle and aunty these last 3 years (although Paul is reverse shunning her - she's a bit cheesed off about this ironically).

    Various other 'acquaintances' opely shunned me at times I was shopping locally to the congregation but, thankfully, since moving to the US these situations no longer arise. However, I still have nightmares (not so frequently but still every now and then) where I'm trying to explain 'things' to my old best friends and their stance is hostile. I usually wake up with tears streaming down my face.

    Occasionally I will facebook my old friends (as I am a glutton for punishment/like reminding people I am still alive) but they all treat me like I'm dead, which clearly I'm not.

    The irony is that they all think they're the ones that are suffering and that we are the ones who have turned our backs on them.

    This issue makes me more angry than the Oil Spill in the Gulf of Mexico and that pretty much has my blood boiling.

    And they wonder why we sometimes become bitter after leaving . . .

  • misguided

    I'm so happy to be free from this cult. A year ago my JW grandmother died at age 98. She wrote me out of her will because I df'd. My other 3 siblings don't have anything to do with jw, but were not df'd so they were not written out. I really don't care...she did not have much to give...and what she did my mom deserved for putting up with that biddy. When she wrote me out of her will, she also wrote off 6 of her grandbabies as well. She was evil in my eyes....not a loving JW!

  • jam

    My JW daughter ask me to attend her delayed wedding reception. Over 10 years since I was df.

    I told my daughter this was not a good idea for me to attend, this should be a happy occasion for you

    and your JW husband. They both beg me to come since they were showing slides of my family when I was

    A JW. I agreed to come after the meal had been serve,(not eating with df person). Well, other family members

    (none JW) decided to attend when they found out I was going..They had seen the shunning done by my

    JW other family members. Well when I arrive all was seated, the food had not been served..My new wife

    and I sat with the family members(none JW). There was seven at our table. Over 200 JW, many old

    friends. My daughter whisper in my ear, dad you must leave we can not serve the food with you here.

    The none JW family saw what was taking place and became so upset that we all walk out.. My poor

    daughter was so upset, her mother ,my ex-wife told the Elders I should leave.

Share this