I would like to hear your experiences with being SHUNNED

by jwfacts 71 Replies latest jw experiences

  • SallySue

    When my Mother died, she left instructions that me, her only daughter, not be notified until weeks after. I was not even told she was ill and in the hospital. I was also not given even a spoon as a rememberance of her. She also left nothing to her only grandchild or great grandchildren. The Witnesses took care of everything and got everything. They are cold and heartless people.

  • Invetigator74

    Aquagirl, your story has touch me deeply!! I DA'ed myself many,many years ago. My parents are still in the Borg. They are getting up in age , and the thought has crossed my mind how will things be when they pass on. I pretty sure I would get no compassion from most my relatives and the rank and file JWs. Fortunely, my siblings will be my support,as they were DF'ed and never returned. I still visit my parents from time to time,and they are very sociable. But, they do not make any effort to visit or contact me, unless I haven't called or visit them ,in say a month or so. But they're my parents ,and I feel obligated to reach out to them, but sometimes I get stressed,always giving ,giving(emotionally and sometimes finacially) and never receive at least a call,like how are you doing son. Oh well, thanks for hearing me out, and hope everyone who has related a shun story be able to heal and move on with their god-given life.

    God Bless

  • jwfacts

    Sally Sue - When my Mother died, she left instructions that me, her only daughter, not be notified until weeks after.

    That is terrible. How does anybody become like that?

  • flipper

    Well- I could write a book about how often I've been shunned after being out almost 7 years now. Was born-in and exited at age 44 . My 2 adult JW daughters ( regular pioneers almost immediately started shunning me after I stopped attending meetings. ( They were influenced by my ex-wife a fanatic JW ). I've talked every 2 or 3 months with them- but everytime they have a District convention- the WT cult control sets in and it's 1 step forward, two steps backwards again. I really miss my daughters . I was very close to them as teenagers- took them clothes shopping, camping with their JW boyfriends- yet the thanks I got was shunning when I stopped attending meetings. I'm just a fader too, but some family treat me like I'm DFEd.

    My older JW mom & dad like my non-witness wife, so they don't shun me. My older brother ( elder ex-Betheleite 8 yrs. ) wanted to shun me and has tried to misrepresent me to my JW parents at times- but he treats me O.K. because my cool JW mom will kick his a$$ if he doesn't ! LOL ! I have an older sister ( Ex-Gilead ) who rarely, if EVER talks to me, another weak JW sister who MAYBE once every 6 months talks to me. It's ridiculous. My 3 JW siblings are 12, 10, & 8 yrs.older than me . In 30 yrs. in my adult life ( inside or outside the cult ) they hacve called me on the phone between the 3 of them PERHAPS 3 or 4 times. I have ALWAYS instigated the contact to reach out to them to see how they are doing. They still treat me like $hit. I've essentially just written them off as cult mind controlled and I surround myself with POSITIVE people inmy life who appreciate me for WHO I am - not WHAT I do regarding JW land.

    As we all can see- I'm not the ONLY one from all the comments here from you all. Much of what you folks have ben through - whether being victimized at JC meetings, elders stalking me, shunning by relatives and close friends I had for years - I've been there, done that. I just want to send my love and empathy to ALL of you for what you've suffered. We ALL need support - due to being victimized by a insidious, deceitful , dangerous mind control cult. All of you here, EVERYBODY- give yourself a pat on the back for moving on in life my friends. You continuing to find happiness outside the witnesses - will be the greaest witness of all to mentally stunted JW relatives. It will blow their minds how we can even BE happy ! My youngest daughter told me that EXACTLY ! I told her- I have a lot to be grateful and thankful for in life . She still remains confused how I can be happy ! But I'm not gonna quit ! Perhaps I'll get through to her in time

  • jwfacts

    Hi Flipper, Thanks for the comment. I am sure you will get through to your daughters in time.

  • doofdaddy

    I truly appreciate the shunning, as I don't want any connection to jehovah's witnesses (including so called family members). Gives me a giggle to be "shunned" in public by the town wackos. I guess it is sad really, as they think it is such a big deal but it ain't.

    My only cringe is when I remember that at one time I did the same......

  • etna

    sallysue, aquagirl and moshe and everyone else, I feel for you all. Please lets not forget how horrible and insensative all this shunning is and may we never be like that.

    Love to all Etna

  • cskyjw.sun

    i was disfellowshipped for not taking the neutrality stand.i was shunned.it impacted me even to a nervous breakdown. i did not recover untill 21 years later.

  • MrMonroe

    My wife and I had been missing more and more meetings until we finally decided never to return. Since then many "friends" have stopped talking to us. One elder who, like me, is a father of children at the local primary school, stood just metres away from me after school waiting for his kids to appear at the door. He saw me, but turned away. I'd bumped into his wife a few weeks earlier at the supermarket; she turned away, pretending she hadn't seen me.

    Other "friends" in a city where we used to live phoned us around memorial time two years in a row encouraging us to go to the memorial. No call this year, so I presume they're not talking to us any more. Weird thing is these are all people who studied a WT in January last year praising JWs for seeking out the wandering sheep. To this day none of them know why we stopped attending meetings. Were we sick? Did we have family problems? A financial crisis? Did we have doubts about God, or doubts about some doctrines? None of them actually wanted to find out. They let us go, stopped talking to us and almost certainly started talking about us.

    Funny thing is last year we went to a local restaurant with friends who we'd told of our experiences about leaving the cult. As luck would have it, there was a table full of 25 or so JWs who had obviously been to an assembly that day. We were given a table at the rear of the restaurant near the door to the toilets. One by one they all walked past us to use the loo -- all sheepishly ignoring us, except for one decent guy who paused for a quick handshake and chat. Our friends at the table were shocked and appalled, especially because they knew none of those people knew why we had stopped attending.

    For a long time we dreaded doing anything, like putting up Xmas decorations, that might lead to us being DFd. The way we see it now, who cares? What difference would it make anyway? They started shunning us when we stopped going to the meetings.

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    I do not know if this was true shunning or what. Most people know I left over child molester problems and the last straw was when the sexual psychopath shoved my elder husband and he was deleted over it. So I quit going to meeting cold turkey right then for months. I stupidly did go back some but now I am DONE!

    So while my husband was at the meeting I would go to Starbucks and have coffee. There is a Liqueur store right next to this Starbucks so I was sitting outside and I look over and this old elder who has Parkinson's disease and shakes and who shuffles was waiting for the Liqueur store to open when he saw me. OH MY WORD this poor man almost fell shuffling away as fast as he could. He never did get is Liqueur. In a way it made me mad but in another way I truly felt sorry for him.

    I was not DA'ed or DF'ed or anything just hurt over baby rapists in the hall and he was an elder. Crazy!


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