I would like to hear your experiences with being SHUNNED

by jwfacts 71 Replies latest jw experiences

  • wasblind

    Hi LITS,

    maybe he decided to wait on Jehovah instead of using a drink to help come to terms with the new generation change.

  • jwfacts

    I just cannot get over how most of the experiences here are of people being shunned prior to being disfellowshipped. Yet I know it is true as it happened to me. As soon as I stopped going to meetings I received almost no calls from any witnesses. Simply being inactive labels you as bad association and to be avoided.

    It is also enlightening that most were not shunned for gross sin, but because they became inactive over an issue with the doctrine or practices of the Watchtower or followers. The Watchtower and comments by JWs on Yahoo Answers and even here by the apologists is constantly that people deserve to be shunned because they were unrepentant of gross sin. Yet that is not really the case in most of the experiences so far.

  • AudeSapere

    My personal shunning experiences are dull and not very interesting.

    Among the more interesting ones I've read were posed on JWD/JWN by KwinTestal. Apologies in advance to Kwin and Mrs.Kwin if I am out-of-line in linking your family's story on his thread. [Tell me if you need/want me to have mods edit out the links, and I will do so quickly.]

    This gem is so crazy I just HAVE to laugh. Hope the young daughter has recovered...


    Related to the subject is this thread by Kwin:



  • Lozhasleft

    Well....following my Dfing 4 of my adult kids shunned me as per the rules. The youngest was under age and still at home so that was ok. All my friends in the Org shunned me except one who stays in touch via texts. Once my youngest was 16 the older ones plotted to get her out and she went to stay with an older sibling to do her A levels which appeared to be a good opportunity but once she was there despite her promises she too began shunning me, and still does.

    My eldest daughter had her first child last year, he has Downs Syndrone. I was told not to visit the hospital because of the JWs visiting. My new husband took me there between visiting hours and told me to go in and meet my grandson whatever anyone said. I did that. Afterwards I got a message telling me not to visit again because of the Dfing rules.

    Easy to write this down coldly but my heart has been broken and despite rebuilding a good life now I am suffering horrendous nightmares which suggests I might need some therapy for all this loss....

    Loz x

    Ps Six months after the Dfing I developed a small breast cancer. The drs insisted it was a result of the trauma of Dfing.

  • wannabefree

    I read these experiences and wonder if I am ready for this? How can I put my children through this pain? The easiest course would be to live the life of a hypocrite. I am so sad for you for the bad experiences. I have never felt comfortable ignoring a disfellowshipped person. I feel I should make a stand for the sake of my minor children and adult, letting them know its okay to leave, it doesn't seem to help in the experiences I have read. Oh the love of the brotherhood for those not spiritually strong in a Watchtower prescribed way. What a loving provision to bring people to their senses to return to the love of Jehovah's one true organization. It is sickening.

  • highdose

    i'm not DF'd or DA'd. But when i moved congo i was shunnned by members of my former congregation. Instead of finding out why i wasn't at their hall any more they decided to treat me like someone disfellowshipped.

    A few months later i went back to that congregation to visit, i was given the standard " lets encourage lost sheep" greeting(!) " well done on coming!" etc really got up my nose!

  • Aphrael

    I was dis-fellowshipped last year. I was very distressed and depressed and would phone my dad on occasions, crying, and he said I couldn't keep phoning him. One time I said I really needed to speak to him about something and he said to email him. I had to take something round to his house and when I rang the bell, he told me to leave it outside, he wouldn't even open the door! When I moved into my house, I had to pick up keys from him and was surprised when he invited me in. He said he would do jobs for me, and then when he realised that my boyf would be living with me he then said he couldn't do anything for me then. My mum just stood there and cried and said this couldn't go on and i had to change it. When I replied that she could phone me, she said that she couldn't because she had to be loyal.

    My uncle continued to speak to me and he was really great and I would go around once a week for dinner. He said I was his neice and that he couldn't ignore me and that he would say this before Jehovah. After a couple of months I suddenly received a phone call from him at work. He said that someone had seen me coming round to his and had told the elders. He had been taken in the back room and was told that if he continued to associate with me that he would ruin his relationship with Jehovah and that how could darkness have association with light (obviously i'm the darkness) and how the table of God be mixed up with the table of demons. He was evidently very upset, but said I could still come, but he wanted to tell me but would leave it up to my conscience. Well how could I keep going round, when he was so afraid himself of being disfellowshipped. So I stopped going. I felt like i'd been emptied out.

    None of my old friends have anything to do with me, and those I have seen out have walked past like i'm a complete stranger. I've been quite lucky that i've only seen a few. My town is not too small!

    However, on a bright note, my boyf has been unbelievably supportive and has been there to pick me up off the floor each time and we are building our own little family

  • Sojourn

    I'm so sorry to everyone who has posted their stories of hardship. I was disfellowshipped twice, reinstated twice, and now, have faded. Yes, it was very hard to be shunned twice, before turning 18.

    The only things I have been reading that I don't completely understand are stories of people who say how shocked and surprised they were when the smallest kindness wasn't shown to them by their former friends. As Witnesses, we were trained for this shunning, weren't we? How can we be surprised? None of us are the one special little snowflake. We're the rule, not the exception. When we find ourselves on the "outside" for any reason, yes, we'll be shunned because the WTS is in control and the Witnesses have been programmed to their exact specifications.

    Personally I feel that with high-control cults like this, try as you might to reason with the person, they are not there. There is no one home. All you are doing is talking to the organization who trained them (if they are devout). Six months ago, I would have probably had a heart attack to hear myself say such things (my deprogramming is very recent...) but it must be said. I knew some smart, funny awesome people in my old congregations who would be SO ANGRY if they took the time to research the things that we have, but may never find these things out. Instead of feeling sorry for myself anymore, I just feel sorry for them; and especially their children.

    Needless to say, I am so embarrassed now to think of the things I thought, said, taught and did. There is nothing I can do to go back and repair the deep hurt I've inflicted on others when I was a Witness and shunned others, but I am trying to replace my knock-off brand of love with true love's acceptance. Being raised as a Witness, naturally I was not trained to show love to all and to judge none, but I am trying to teach myself those qualities now.

  • bigmac

    @ boyzone: referring to the letter you posted above.

    you mention " lois" & wootton. i lived there 1999-2003, & i imagine the lois you mention lived near me , on M--- R---avenue, if so i knew her as a kid & her parents, then in Shanklin 1971-80.

    my family of jw's live in shanklin & have shunned me completely since the mid 80's. i have grandchildren i have never met. ( for the rest-of -the world they are 8 miles away)

    its possible you may know of them: i sent you a PM with my [email protected] address.

  • flipper

    Important thread which needs to be bumped up ! Thanks JW Facts- Peace out, Mr. Flipper

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