My First Post

by today 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • jdub4life?

    Hi Today! I am new to the forum as well...

    I was born in to the religion, my heart goes out to your daughter... Somehow I have managed to keep it together on the outside (not sure how...) but there were times in my life where I having a similar battle as your daughter on the inside...(most of us ex-jdubs probably have)

    I have an eight year old son and I worry about the effects that my time as a witness had on him...I simply tell him that there is nothing that he could ever do or say that would ever make me love him any less than I do right now...

    I am so very sorry for everything this religion has done this to your family...maybe one day it will be made right...until then....

    ~ Betsy

  • Gayle

    Wow,,you have a lot on your plate,,so glad your son has such a clear head and a good sense of humor. He is very fortunate to have you that will allow him to have a free mind and a free life.

    Most concerned I am for your daughter,(step-daughter). She has her whole life with this misery. I wish there was a way for you to go for your 'personal' counseling with your daughter's counselor/doctor, (this would have to seem unintentional, just a hapstance,),just to discuss your issues and concern,,and without creating an obvious "conflict of interest' to the doctor to discuss part of your upset is regarding your step-daughter (and lightly slip in her name) so that the doctor may be able to link up your depressing concerns to your daughter's depressive/anxiety concerns. That may not be possible but could be worth a try for her sake.

    So good you are willing to start reading books as suggest my some here. Your personal strength will gain. You have your son to give a good positive future primarily and your own mental health.

    In time you could try couples' counseling. But for now, one day at a time, and best wishes.

  • Thor

    Hello and welcome!!

    My husband and I are new here too. We are very sorry to learn of your troubles! While reading through all the good replies you have received, I liked the advice that Mad Sweeney gave to try to make "life at home way more appealing and happy than life at the kingdom hall".

    If life at home can be relaxing and without pressure, it would be in contrast to life at the kingdom hall, where you are basically told that you are not good enough and are given a lot of pressure to "do better".

    We wish you success! Just give your two kids all the love and attention that they deserve!

    Mrs Thor

  • cantleave

    Today welcome.

    I am so sorry for the deplorable situation you find yourself in.

    Your husband probably loves you very much, but has been indoctrinated to believe that he needs to love a mythical being to a greater degree, otherwise he will lose out on everlasting life in a paradise earth. The indoctrination will win hands down until he is ready to see through it. Sadly he may never get there.

    Your step daughter's reaction is extreme and is unlikely to be due entirely to her belief system, although an underlying, existing problem may have been exacerbated by the fears instilled by the Watchtower's teachings. Is she getting high quality professional care? She needs it.

    You too, probably, need to talk through the issues you face with a counsellor, preferably one who has experience with dealing with cult victims.

    As flipper said, this forum provides a great support mechanism, but it is not an alternative to professional help.

  • jamiebowers

    I'm very hard core anti-Watchtower, especially when it comes to kids. Everyone gave very good advice, but I want to add this: please make sure your son keeps his level head. Talk to him about the fact that things have never been better for the human race than they are right now. Tell him that there have been some people during every time period who believed they were living in the last days. Don't let your husband badger that poor kid into being brainwashed. As far as your step-daughter is concerned, where is her biological mother? I realize most current and ex-wives aren't best friends, but it would be very good for your step-daughter to have two adults in her life that aren't poisoned by the Watchtower.

  • elderelite

    Today, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. There are two sides to every story. Just understand which side you get here. I enjoy reading all the down sides and ugliness that the organization has. I reminds me to stay balanced, not give more than I can bear (time, money or anything Else) and to enjoy life as I would like, not as another would dictate. Those things said, I feel I have to point out that your daughter, and bless you for calling your step daughter your "daughter, may have a serious mental problem not related in any way to the WT or its teachings. There are millions of us who were raised in the "truth" and have live very happy lives. Your daughters problems seem very very serious and frankly seem to be trivialized by some of the responses you've been given. Continue to get her help.

  • mrsjones5

    Untrue Elder, no one on this topic has trivialized Today's situation with her daughter. All have been very loving and supportive and have given advice and shown concern. Shame on you.

  • elderelite

    No shame on YOU! there I said it louder so I'm righter! Sorry but blaming a serious mental problem on the teachings of the WT society is indeed trivializing it.

  • mrsjones5

    Sorry but the lady who started this topic stated that it may be a factor towards the instability of her daughter's mental health (have you not been reading her posts at all?) and she's not trivializing her situation. So again I say sir SHAME ON YOU!!

  • elderelite

    and it is a tragedy that some folks feed into it. So the WT society wrote something that drove the girl insane? You don't see your own insanity. The poor child has a serious problem and you decide to feed into her mothers worry. essentially telling her that her daughter read things that drove her insane. The blame game. Now her son is in jeopardy! RUN! He to will have mental problems! Shame on you double. And don't call me sir. I work for a living. as previous posts have pointed out all JW men are uneducated and thus work menial jobs for low pay.

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