I'm glad my children don't have to grow up being afraid of cupcakes

by Ilovebirthdays 51 Replies latest jw experiences

  • fokyc

    and it's even on the CD-ROM!

    Family Happiness (1996) chap.8pp.90-102

    Protect Your Family From Destructive Influences


    Christian parents Paul and his wife, Lu-Ann, organize gatherings at their home from time to time. They make sure that the gatherings are well supervised and of a manageable size. They have good reason to believe that their children benefit.

    Lu-Ann relates: "The mother of a classmate of my six-year-old son, Eric, approached me to say that she felt sorry for Eric because he sat apart and didn’t join in class birthday parties. I said to her: ‘I really appreciate that you care about my son that way. It says a lot about the kind of person you are. And probably there is nothing I could say that would convince you that Eric doesn’t feel that he’s missing out.’ She agreed. So I said: ‘Then please, for your own sake, set your mind at ease and ask Eric yourself how he feels.’ When I was not around, she asked Eric, ‘Don’t you mind missing out on these nice birthday parties?’ He looked up at her, surprised, and said: ‘Do you think that ten minutes,

    a few cupcakes, and a song make a party? You should come to my house and see what a real party is like!’" The boy’s innocent enthusiasm made it clear—he did not feel that he was deprived or missing out!

  • serenitynow!

    " He looked up at her, surprised, and said: ‘Do you think that ten minutes, a few cupcakes , and a song make a party? You should come to my house and see what a real party is like!’"'

    Was that in the book? That seems like kind of a smart a-- answer for a 6 year old to give an adult. I don't long for the birthday or christmas party/presents, but I've never experienced them either. Maybe if/when I experience them I'll feel that I have really missed out on something.

  • AudeSapere

    Thanks, Snowbird.

  • miseryloveselders

    I have to bump this thread, to share a recent experience.

    Yesterday at work, I went to the bathroom for a moment. When I got back to my cubicle, there was a manilla folder on my chair. I thought to myself, what friggin cause do they want me to contribute to now?!?!?! Sick of giving these people my money. However, when I opened the folder, it was a birthday card for one of my coworkers. Great. Now I'm wishing it would have been a cause to donate funds toward. I'm an adult, and I pride myself on being a man, and you know I still get nervous and indecisive when presented with birthday or holiday related issues? It's so ridiculous. I really didnt know what to do. You would think I was confronted with death or losing a limb. I was debating whether it would be acceptable to sign the card as "Congratulations, you made it to another year! Signed Misery!" I've done that before because I didnt have the balls to sign, "Happy Birthday from Misery!" You might hear me drop an F-Bomb under stress before you hear me every say, "Happy Birthday!" At any rate, I held onto it for a couple minutes, and made it seem like I was signing something. There's enough people working here that nobody would notice if I didnt actually sign anything. I then walked the folder over to the side of the floor that hadn't seen the card yet. End of story? Nope.

    Sticking with the theme of this thread, that being fear of eating demonic cupcakes...... I come to work this morning, and they're having a food day for some new hires, and some student interns who are leaving us. So I see a box full of cupcakes, and I said to myself, "I'll get one later." I sit down at my desk, and go through my emails, and there it is. The cupcakes are not related to the food day, rather the cupcakes are on behalf of the birthday girl from yesterday. I want a friggin cupcake right now, but I'll hate myself in the morning for eating one, and not for dietary reasons. I'll really feel like I sinned from eating a birthday cupcake. How silly is all of this?

    You know, I've never been afraid of standing up for myself. People tell me I can be assertive, agrresive, even abrasive with my speach at times. I just refuse to take anybody's BS. I've developed a reputation to some degree. But you know what? I get flustered and confused, when someone says to me, "Merry Christmas!" Or, "Happy New Years!" When responding to those simple greetings, I get hot, nervous, and start mumbling and scrambling for words. Its so stupid. I feel like that kid in the opening post of this thread.

  • EmergedAsMe

    Misery - I have had a few opportunities to say "Happy Birthday" since I have been out, and it has stuck in my throat every time. (I am only a few months out.)

    I met a lovely older man who was showing me something he had built, and he commented it was his 80th birthday that day and I couldn't say "Happy Birthday". I did manage a congratualtions and some other small talk, like you I can handle planty of the other stuff but the "Happy Birthday" just will not come out my mouth. It really pisses me off that I (a normally logical, practical thinker) cannot do something so seemingly simple.

  • EndofMysteries

    The post a few spots above, the cupcake experience in the family happiness book, I know those people. I just found this post because I saw the quote in a recent WT and wondered why they are quoting about not doing birthdays on an experience 26+ years old. That experience was in a time and place when JW's actually did things, gatherings, lots of social events, etc. Then bethell came down hard and most of that went away, people were having 'too much' fun.  O and to the person who commented about the kid's comment being kind of smart ass, he was one haha. But I love how WT still quotes on things that they talk down upon and usually don't happen anymore.  They don't encourage having parties and socializing, if they were doing that today they would be counselled on everybody should be in field circus instead. 

  • Hortensia
    It's painful to remember the amount of anxiety we kids felt over everything in our lives. When I think about the kids still having to suffer that because of JW parents or grandparents, it makes me very sad. Children shouldn't have to feel that anxious all the time, feel that someone (god of course) is watching all the time and wants to punish them for the slightest mistake.
  • LisaRose

    It's never too early to start the mind control. When you can convince someone a cupcake is evil you own them. 


  • All for show
    All for show
    @endofmysteries or anyone else, how did the society crack down hard on fun? I remember as a youth we had so much going on socially, we still had fun with our congregation. Now, there is nothing, it's dead. My relatives tell my husband (not born in) its due to everyone being too busy-pressures of life. But if I can show him old literature or something with the pressure or position that JWs were having 'too much fun' it would definitely push him a little. He hates the 'anti-social' unloving stance among those in our own faith let alone outside. 
  • flipper

    ILOVEBIRTHDAYS- What an interesting experience. And sad too. Thanks for sharing. It is really disturbing how the WT Society's mind control can absolutely make children and grown ups terrified and live in fear. It's really a case of the WT Society robbing or stealing ANY kind of joyful activities away from Jehovah's Witnesses and making them FEEL guilty for FEELING good or any pleasure in anything at all. Like even a simple thing like eating a cupcake for Christ sakes.

      Being born and raised a JW as a child years ago in the 1960's I REALLY appreciated being able to experience the joy and fun in holidays and eating cupcakes once again at age 44 when I exited the JW cult. Never knew cupcakes could taste SO good. And freedom of mind as well ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper 

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