Brand New: Currently Totally Devastated

by daringhart13 78 Replies latest jw friends

  • daringhart13

    Hello to all,

    I'm brand new to the board. Long time, "big shot" elder, ....taught at KM School, conventions, etc. etc. Yeah, I know it means nothing....but it gives you an idea of how deep I've been a JW.

    I don't even really know what to write at this point. My story is long and convoluted. A fatherless boy, rebel, then highly respected elder. I've just 'disappeared'..........

    There were many, many things I didn't appreciate...but in the end, it was the gross lack of love that I was exposed to as an elder....the back room conversations about precious 'sheep' that included calling them names, seeing families destroyed.....etc. etc..........that lead me to a lonely few years of hurt.

    I guess I don't know what or how to contribute at this point because I'm an emotional guy....which made me a popular elder......but lonely person.

    Thanks.....and please be patient with me as I try to understand how an organization that claims love can be so cruel to people.

  • cantleave

    Hi Daringheart. I can understand where you are coming from, When I was an elder the hypocrisy and lack of love I saw amongst the body, as well as there lack of genuine love and care for the congregation, was one of the factors that caused me to leave. Welcome to forum!

  • leavingwt


  • palmtree67

    I think you might be in the right place.

    Welcome and please RELAX and BREATHE....!


  • daringhart13

    Thanks to each of you.........I've forgotten what kindness looked like.

    Good to know there are other high character elders here who couldn't watch it anymore.

    I'm trying to deal with feeling completely lost.

  • wobble

    Welcome !

    You will find love and solace here, we understand, and are here to help in any way we can.


  • Quirky1

    Welcome to the board!!

  • daringhart13

    Its all so surreal.....thanks to all for the warm welcome.

    How long until you came out of the fog? the devastation? the crying? the feeling that God may just hate you?

  • besty

    welcome to JWN - tell us more about your situation as you are able - it can be very therapeutic to write it down.....

    stick around and keep posting....

  • snowbird


    Just take your time; it gets better.


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