JUST Friends (page 2)

snowbird

You sound like my oldest granddughter!

Sylvia

FreudianSlip

why risk hurting your significant other over the feelings that might develop from physical attraction and friendship

Why would they be hurt? I don't assume that my spouse will have no physical attraction for his friends.

Is the consensus that if two people are attracted they will act on it and therefore you should end the friendship if you are? I'm listening I promise. If this is how most people feel then I guess there is something wrong in my head. I have had many friends who I thought were absolutely gorgeous and it didn't matter because I was in love with someone else.

tec

Thinking someone is attractive and being attracted to them are two different things. Being attracted to someone means that you would like to act on it... at least on a physical level. At least it means that to me. So if you are noticing the attractive nature of your friend, but not feeling any physical desire to act on it- (such as wondering what kissing him might feel like, or what running your hand over his chest might feel like) - then I might answer differently than I did above.

Tammy

FreudianSlip

tec-

Fair enough, but I still think that having those feelings doesn't mean a person will act on it. Again, I have been VERY attracted to my friends before (including fantasies), but I have self-control. Who hasn't fantasized about a friend? Should that really be a deal breaker?

FreudianSlip

Very sexual people fantasize about their friends. We're not all sex addicts who can't control ourselves.

leavingwt

Please define this phrase:

without a sexual element coming into play

paul from cleveland

When I actually act on the fantasies, and get them out of the way, the person is demystified. For me, the relationship can be normalized after that.

FreudianSlip

leavingwt-

Excellent question!!! The phrase I used was ambiguous. Let's say: romantic touching. I don't think many people can honestly say that they haven't had a friend who they didn't think of romantically even though they were in a relationship. So, can two attracted people resist romantic touching (or more)?

paul from cleveland

but I try not to do that when I'm being monogamous.

FreudianSlip

When I actually act on the fantasies, and get them out of the way, the person is demystified. For me, the relationship can be normalized after that.

But the question is, can you resist acting on the fantasy, or should you just end the friendship instead of potentially cheating?

JUST Friends

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