As You've Gotten Older Have You Changed Your Thoughts On Marriage?

by minimus 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus
    minimus

    This thread has the potential to be a doozy.

  • dandingus
    dandingus

    You're not kidding. I'm hooked!

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Nugget and I are going to now. Goodbye.

  • cry
    cry

    My views have definately changed. I was married at 18, my hubbie was 22! There was a certain amount of pressure to marry, but it as also the done thing. Living together was called 'living in sin' - hardly how you would want to start out bringing up a family. Now the world has changed so much, and people can live together and make a commitment between themselves. Now I am separated, I wonder what was the point in being married - it doesn't stop people behaving badly.

  • StoneWall
    StoneWall

    I got married at the age of 21. My wife was 18

    I honestly have to admit if I knew back then what I know now about life in general and also about the WT being so

    full of crap, I'd have waited. The pressure from the WT society was always present and you shouldn't be dating unless

    it's with marriage as the goal.

    Sometimes I'm a little envious of George Clooney with not being married and dating a different beautiful actress or model

    every other week or every few months. No dead lines on a certain time to be home or the wife will panic thinking somethings

    happened to you. Being able to stay out late with your friends and drink or just shoot the breeze about anything.

    (reminds me of when George Clooney and Danny Devito stayed out all night drinking lemon drops, and next morning

    Danny had to appear on the View. That was so funny seeing him trying to act sober.heehe)

    But having said that, I've had single friends tell me how envious/jealous they are of some of us married guys.

    As I typed that I couldn't help but think of that scripture in 1Corinthians 7:27 "Are you bound to a wife? Stop seeking

    a release. Are you loosed from a wife? Stop seeking a wife. "

  • 144001
    144001

    I used to believe in marriage. Then reality hit me like a sucker punch to the jaw. I will never be married again.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Well after 30 years its come down to this:

    We raised two healthy, happy sons. I'm happy were still together after all this time. We've had our ups and downs, but in the end we accept each other for who we are.

    This is what we have learned:

    You cannot change a person, or own them. It is nice to take separate vacations once in a while, and working together can be deadly to a marriage.

    Take care of each other the best you can, and spend money on a really nice bed with luxury linens and pillows. When you get into bed at night....even if you are mad at each other, the bed is so wonderful....you forget what you were mad about, and no one wants to leave to spend the night on the couch!!!!!

    edited to add: married at 20 and 22.

    r.

  • poppers
    poppers

    I never married and have not regretted it, although I wanted to in my early 20s; I'm about to turn 59. My best friend from high school is about to end his 5th(!) marriage.

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    My views on marriage have certainly changed as have my wife's. I think we still love each other and she has recently started warming up to me and have not been ignoring my affection. After approximately 7 years of marraige, I am learning that not everything will go as expected or planned and there is not way one party can control or change the other.

    Would I do it over again? I would have to think about that but I do not regret my choice. Should things ultimately not work out between us all I have to say is I doubt very seriously I would get remarried. It would take an extraordinary lady to change my mind.

    Meanwhile, I am still holding out hope that my wife and I will keep things together.

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    poppers: Wow, five marraiges. I know someone at work who's been married that many times. All I can say is, if I screw it up once, I may consider remarriage. Twice? Well I think I would just call it quits.

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