YoYoMama; I've not been disfellowshipped, nor am I disassociated, which means it won't hurt your conscience to talk to me, and to hear me tell you what a contemptable little hypocrite you are.
I have to assume you actually still believe in the 'Truth' to ask such a question (unless your reply indicating you intensions was ironic in some way).
You must use the 'Back' button an awful lot to avoid seeing, on a daily basis, clear proof that it is not the 'Truth', in scriptual terms, in organisational term, in historical term or in sceintific terms.
But you seem, despite the fact you still believe, to think that you can choose which of the Societies guidelines to follow; I guess you are such a superfine apostle that the 'rules' regarding using the Internet don't apply to you.
Of course, I'm sure, if you're living with someone, you probably scrub your cache and cookie store, and don't mention this site to anyone at the meetings. Which means you know you are doing something wrong, or at least something you could be punished for.
And, as you believe in him, it means you know, if you think about it, that Jehovah can see your hypocracy, your rebelliousness, your independant spirit, as you might keep it quite from your Congregation, but you can't keep secrets from Jah, can you.
How utterly pathetic. Will you talk to yourself when you get disfellowshipped?
Of course, a more accurate representation of your internalised state would be this;
You know it's wrong, deep inside. You can't ignore this little worm of doubt. It eats away at you and makes your worship taste of ashes, and speaking to others about your faith revolting.
You are driven to find out WHY, why it feels so wrong, so you search for information, places like here.
To make yourself feel better about this (as you know you are doing something wrong), you set yourself a little sub-set of rules. Yes, going to a site crammed with DF'd and DA'd people is wrong. So you won;t talk to them, which means you're not really doing anything wrong.
It's a horrible stage to be going through, and the sooner you can realise you can probably trust the disfellowshipped people here more than Brother's A to Z when it comes to talking about what you think and feel, the sooner the awful conflict in your head will begin to diffuse. It's called cognotive dissonance, combined with 'special pleading' (making up your own rules).
All the best in getting better.
People living in glass paradigms shouldn't throw stones...