Hang in there. The fact that you can already see that you are a better mom is a great sign. Definitely look for support from some non-jw's. Is your whole family JW's? As far as your children they will far so much better without the negative and repressed lifestyle of JW.s. Always come here for advice or just to vent with people who understand first hand.
Have a great day..and give your kids some Valentine candy they'll love it!