by sd-7 63 Replies latest jw friends
Of all the posts I've ever read on this board, this one is the saddest. It's the WT imposed guilt that kills some. This is sooo sad, I wish I could help him. If he lived in my town, my wife and I would drop everything, right now, to be there for him. Wherever you are sd-7, you're going to make it.... It isn't going to easy, but you'll make it. Giving up isn't the answer either.
I'm going to P.M. you my phone number and email address if you want to talk.....
I have so much to say to you, but I don't want to try opening a can of worms if you aren't going to stick around.
Anyway, help your daughter not to be a JW. Help yourself in whatever way you need to help yourself. Go to counseling if you can find a way.
Personally, I have learned to live with a JW wife and not be an active JW myself. There are problems, but we are both committed to each other and it may just work out if she never "wakes up."
In your case, I know it's hard. The wife threw you under a bus about the fornication stuff just out of desparation.
At least don't throw out all the research and books stuff. If you cannot store it for yourself, the thrift store is better than nothing, or better- mail it to someone here at JWN.
Come back when you are ready. Please get some help, though- outside of the elders.
Hello SD-7,
I cannot imagine what you are feeling now but I am sure it is equal to grief, that of a loved one.
Plenty people here know that first hand.
I pray you find peace.
Blessings,
Stephen
SD-7 called me a little before 6 pm EST today. He's very sad but seems a little calmer. I've advised him the best I know, and he said he's going to take the advice. I cried and cried when I read his post. It's just so heartbreaking, because he truly is an extraordinarily smart, witty, intelligent person. He's so young and should be enjoying his career and new family. Instead he's agonizing over a stupid cult and what leaving it will do to his life.
We've been in regular contact since he started posting on JWN, and I hope it continues. But if being in touch with an apostate is too painful for him, I will have to let our friendship go. I'll let everyone know if/when I hear from him if/when he really stops posting here. He's got a lot of thinking to do.
Whatever he decides, you guys have been great. Thanks especially to those who pm'd him and gave their personal contact information. SD-7 is very smart and hard to keep up with. The more people he has to talk to, the better.
Hi JB,
He's very sad but seems a little calmer.
Many thanks for posting.
Send our love to SD-7.
Blessings,
Stephen
Dear Jamie,
please send love from Wobble and Mrs Wobble, good old SD is in our thoughts.
You're in our prayers, brother!
Please keep us posted. Don't leave here. This is where the real support is. We're here for you as much as cyber-friends can be. And if you need face to face help, take the advice given and see a professional. I think FreeMinds has a list of several who are familiar with the cult. Hopefully you live near one.
SD7 You have every right to be angry you were deceived as we all were But your directing that anger at yourself I can't blame myself for being conned and I doubt that anyone here does. We lay the blame where it belongs with the GB and vent accordingly
I also felt suicidal my sense of security was gone what I had based my whole live on was a lie and I realized I could lose everything that was dear to me. Sure I contemplated suicide but it passed and it will for you.
Now about the wife her sense of security is threatened she is shit scared be there for her. Don't do anything that threatens it play the Elders game The Org conned you you can con them. Like brothers I wish I had your faith in the FDS let them relate their bullshit reasons and then say Well I never thought about it that way. Get the picture? Premarital sex? you confessed to Jehovah and you believed he had forgiven you If they believe your just weak and don't challenge them they won't give you the boot. They call it theocratic warfare ( don't tell the truth when its not to your advantage) It can be a lot of fun outsmarting them.
I wore a full beard for years no tie and often stood out the back of the hall during the meetings. When challenged I said your fortunate that shaving doesn't give you a terrible rash.... No tie Asthma feel like I'm choking..... Standing at the back Ever had piles Brother. One helpful Elder came up during the meeting stood beside me and said one word "Vaseline " Vaseline I replied "Yes for you know" he said "What" says I "Piles" he whispered SD7 They can be quite amusing at times a bit of fun.
Ask yourself one question, friend.
Is it YOUR fault that you were misled?
Is it YOUR fault that you were lied to by people you trusted?
Is it YOUR fault that the "truth" turned out to be anything but?
Pardon my language, but for ME, that's a hearty FUCK, NO.
I know better than probably anyone what this religion can do to people. You think you're a bad person? Friend, you have no idea...
What I can tell you though - beyond a shadow of a doubt - is this:
There IS a higher power/intelligence out there. Nobody who has heard my life's story can possibly deny this. Is this power loving, cruel, or simply indifferent?
I don't know. I would have to say all three, based on my experiences.
The point is this: We are here. Everything science and reason tells us is that we shouldn't be here, and yet here we are.
ANYTHING is possible, friend.
ANYTHING.
SD7 you have received much good advice and I hope you find it helpful. From your post one thing strikes me is that your state of mind is very confused and depressed at present. If you wife loves you then she may be genuinely concerned at the way you are unravelling before her. She will see the way you are beating yourself up over everything and she would want it to stop. In the society when in doubt you go for the fall back option, trust in Jehovah, trust in the elders, confess and be made clean.
I would be open with her that she is important to you but this situation is difficult for you to deal with. I would strongly suggest counselling with someone who understands cults and the effects on people psychologically. They will help you to find a strategy and a way of coping. This is neutral ground where you can get some perspective on the situation without problems coming at you from all directions. If counselling is too costly see if there are any support groups, just talking is helpful. You must decide what is best for you and your family and no one here will judge you for it. Don't act in haste, don't hate yourself truth is not always pretty but it is the truth.
You didn't make the wtbts a lie they did.
